Unrequited love... For some these wordsseem a bit old-fashioned. Scenes from the 18th century come to mind: foggy swamps, unhappy young maidens in crinolines, sad poems about unhappy love. In fact, these words only seem outdated, because even now a huge number of people suffer from the fact that someone is unable to share their feelings. Shakespeare said that love is the most beautiful dream and the worst of nightmares. It seems that little has changed since those distant times. Most of us have experienced the pangs of unrequited love at some point in our lives. What can you do, such is life - sometimes men are unable to reciprocate our feelings. Although this does not mean that one of us is not worthy of being loved. Of course, when you realize that “the best guy in the world” does not pay attention to you, self-esteem rapidly drops. It seems that our shortcomings - both external and internal - are to blame. But believe me, even the most beautiful, intelligent, rich and famous ladies can find themselves in such a situation. Apparently, Cupid, shooting arrows, knows better than us whether these two are fit to be together. But the trouble is that not every one of us has the same attitude towards the object of our passion. Someone, after painful thoughts and experiences, is ready to let go of a person who has not responded to ardent feelings. Such people do not lose hope for future personal happiness, despite all the sorrows of unhappy love. And someone questions the very meaning of existence without a loved one nearby. They fall into deep depression, do not see anything around that can ease the unbearable pain. This condition is the most dangerous: very often young girls who cannot cope with the burden of heavy feelings do not want to live on and decide to commit suicide. How to understand that you are at risk, and what to do if life is not sweet without a loved one? First things first.
Is your love fanatical?
Love is such a wonderful feeling whenI want to sing and laugh, fly on the wings of happiness. But sometimes it turns a person's life into a real hell. And this concerns not only the girl in love herself, but also the object of her adoration. If a woman is so fanatically devoted to her feelings that she is ready to do anything to win the heart of her lover, then this threatens disaster: she loses the sense of reality and sees the world in a distorted light. For her, only HE exists, everything else in this life no longer matters. And, as a rule, such feelings are rarely mutual - men are afraid of those who do not leave them the right to choose. So, how to understand that your attitude towards a man goes beyond the bounds of reason?
- If in spite of the fact that the young man does not wantbe close to you, you consider it your property, then this is a bad sign. Forcibly you will not be lovable, and to consider a guy almost as your husband at the time, as he does not want to meet with you, means making a big mistake.
- When a girl is ready for any act,to force a guy to fall in love, this is not the best way to affect her attitude to both her beloved person and the people around her. Intrigue, betrayal, squabbling - all, if only to remove from their path potential rivals and force a man to be with her side by side. Unfortunately, even having achieved the object of their adoration, such girls are rarely truly happy, because their life goal turns not into "living happily ever after," but in winning over one who does not respond to feelings.
- Sometimes girls just idolize a man,subordinating all their own thoughts and feelings only to him - such a wonderful and unique person. Not seeing reciprocity, they lose interest in life, stop meeting with friends, abandon their studies and work. What used to bring joy becomes meaningless and uninteresting, their whole life turns into endless suffering and loneliness. They create an idol for themselves and worship the guy as an idol, renouncing their own “I” in the name of their loved one.
Unrequited love for such girls isan unbearable burden. Like, either I'll be with him or I won't live at all. If such a thought has even once visited your head, immediately take your life into your own hands and stop torturing yourself. You are a beautiful part of the Universe that will definitely find its own personal happiness. Maybe not with this young man, maybe a little later, but it will definitely find it!
How to survive the bitterness of unrequited love
The saying that time heals is not emptywords. Many generations of people have tested this thesis on themselves, realizing that even the most terrible emotional wound heals over time. No matter how much it seems to you that despair and grief from unrequited feelings are endless, someday the storm in your soul will subside and you will see the world in a different light. You just need to survive the crisis and allow yourself to live happily ever after. Whether your love is fanatical or not, one thing is absolutely clear: right now you are haunted by the riot of hormones in your blood. No matter how you idealize the nature of your feelings, science has long defined the first phase of falling in love. The feeling of airiness, joy and unearthly happiness that love gives a person is associated with certain chemical processes in the body. Blasphemous? But true. The following substances “play” in the blood of a person in love:
- Dopamine. He gives a sense of false well-being, allows you to forget about all problems and see the only joy in being near your loved one.
- Serotonin is a hormone of happiness and pleasure, the amount of which increases with one thought about the object of desire.
- Phenylethylamine.Thanks to this hormone, a person's level of arousal increases, and the work of the logical centers of consciousness is disrupted. It is because of this substance that the actions of people in love seem irrational and strange.
- Noradrenaline gives lovers the feeling of "wings behind their backs", they feel an extraordinary emotional lift and confidence in their abilities.
How happy is a person under the influence?of this "chemical cocktail" in mutual love, just as depressed and unhappy if all the body's reactions were not in demand. One thing is good: all this chemistry does not work for too long. As a rule, after 10-13 months (and sometimes earlier) a person calms down and goes into a completely different state - the time comes to realize that a loved one is far from ideal. You can patiently wait for time to pass and your soul to calm down from torment and suffering, or you can try to change the situation yourself. Why did you assume that your beloved guy is just a treasure? Surely he has a lot of serious shortcomings that are clearly visible to everyone around him. Everyone, except you. Try to make a list of his flaws, if you can't - ask mutual friends and acquaintances for help. As soon as you understand that a man is not ideal, it will become much easier for you to cope with your feelings. But what to do if, despite all the shortcomings of your beloved, you cannot control yourself? Then try to distance yourself from the one you love. Avoid meeting the young man, delete his name from your phone contacts and from your social media lists. The less you communicate with him, the easier it will be for you to survive your condition. Find something you enjoy doing, this will help you distract yourself from sad thoughts. The fact that the man of your dreams for some reason cannot reciprocate your feelings is a great reason for self-improvement. You can become slimmer, more beautiful, learn to sew, drive a car or learn a foreign language. Anything, just to occupy your thoughts with something that is not related to your loved one. Self-improvement will help you draw the guy's attention to you, and if this does not work out, you will still not be a loser: you will have new interests, a different circle of acquaintances. All this will help overcome painful feelings and move to the level when a person evaluates himself and others in a new way. Unrequited love is a heavy, depressing feeling, but there are several advantages to it. Firstly, any strong emotions help us to understand ourselves better and learn to value relationships. Secondly, very often unhappy lovers find inspiration in their feelings and begin to create: write books, compose poetry, draw and so on. Sometimes it is unrequited love that helps people create beautiful works of art that delight and delight others. So, if you find yourself in a situation where a loved one cannot reciprocate your feelings, try to survive this experience with dignity. Someday you will definitely meet someone who will truly love you, you just need to not lose faith in yourself and hope for the best. We recommend reading:
