Unrequited love ... Someone will say these wordsa bit old fashioned. In the imagination there are scenes from the 18th century: foggy swamps, unhappy young maidens in crinolines, sad poems about unhappy love. In fact, these words only seem obsolete, because even now a huge number of people suffer from the fact that someone is not able to share their feelings. Shakespeare also said that love is the most beautiful dream and the worst of nightmares. It seems that little has changed since those distant times. Most of us experienced the pains of unrequited love at a certain stage of our life. What to do, this is life - sometimes men are not able to respond to our feelings. Although this does not mean that one of us is not worthy to be loved. Of course, when you realize that "the best guy in the world" does not pay attention to you, self-esteem falls rapidly. It seems that our faults - both external and internal - are to blame. But believe me, even the most beautiful, intelligent, rich and famous ladies can be in such a situation. Apparently, Cupid, shooting arrows, knows better than us whether these two are suitable for being together. But the trouble is that not all of us are equally attached to the subject of our passion. Someone after painful reflection and experience is ready to let go of a person who has not responded to fervent feelings. Such people do not lose hope for the future personal happiness, despite all the sorrows of unhappy love. And someone puts into question the very meaning of existence without a loved one nearby. They fall into a deep depression, they do not see anything around that can alleviate the unbearable pain. This state is most dangerous: very often young girls who do not cope with the burden of heavy feelings, do not want to live on and decide on suicide. How to understand that you are at risk, and what if you do not have a life without a loved one? About everything in order.
Is your love fanatical?
Love is such a wonderful feeling whenwant to sing and laugh, fly on the wings of happiness. But sometimes it turns a person's life into a real hell. And it concerns not only the most enamored girl, but also the object of her adoration. If a woman is so fanatically devoted to her feelings that she is ready for anything to win the heart of her lover, then it threatens with disaster: she loses her sense of reality and sees the world in a distorted light. For her, there is only OH, everything else in this life no longer matters. And, as a rule, such feelings are rarely mutual - men like fire are afraid of those who do not leave them the right to choose. So, how to understand that your attitude towards a man goes beyond the limits of the reasonable?
- If in spite of the fact that the young man does not wantbe close to you, you consider it your property, then this is a bad sign. Forcibly you will not be lovable, and to consider a guy almost as your husband at the time, as he does not want to meet with you, means making a big mistake.
- When a girl is ready for any act,to force a guy to fall in love, this is not the best way to affect her attitude to both her beloved person and the people around her. Intrigue, betrayal, squabbling - all, if only to remove from their path potential rivals and force a man to be with her side by side. Unfortunately, even having achieved the object of their adoration, such girls are rarely truly happy, because their life goal turns not into "living happily ever after," but in winning over one who does not respond to feelings.
- Sometimes girls just deify a man,subordinating all his own thoughts and feelings only to him - to such a beautiful and unique person. Not seeing the reciprocity, they lose interest in life, stop meeting with friends, abandon their studies and work. What used to bring joy, becomes meaningless and uninteresting, all life turns into endless suffering and loneliness. They create an idol and worship a guy as an idol, renouncing his own "I" in the name of a loved one.
Unrequited love for these girls -heavy burden. Like, or I will be with him, or I will not live at all. If this thought visited your head at least once, immediately take life into your own hands and stop torturing yourself. You are a beautiful part of the universe, which will certainly find its own happiness. Let not with this young man, even a little later, but he will find it!
How to survive the bitterness of unrequited love
The saying that time heals is not emptythe words. Many generations of people have tested this thesis on themselves, realizing that even the most terrible wound of the soul heals with time. No matter how you feel that despair and grief from unrequited feelings are endless, one day a storm in the soul will subside and you will see the world in a different light. You just need to survive the crisis and allow yourself to live happily on. Your love is fanatical or not, but one thing is quite clear: now you are haunted by the riot of hormones in your blood. Whatever you idealize the nature of your feelings, but science has long defined the first phase of love. That feeling of airiness, joy and unearthly happiness that gives a person love, is associated with certain chemical processes in the body. Blasphemous? But it is true. In a man in love, the following substances "play" in the blood:
- Dopamine. He gives a sense of false well-being, allows you to forget about all problems and see the only joy in being near your loved one.
- Serotonin is a hormone of happiness and pleasure, the amount of which increases with one thought about the object of desire.
- Phenylethylamine. Thanks to this hormone, a person's level of excitement rises, the work of logical centers of consciousness is disrupted. It is because of this substance that the actions of lovers seem irrational and strange.
- Noradrenaline gives lovers the feeling of "wings behind their backs", they feel an extraordinary emotional lift and confidence in their abilities.
How happy is a person under the influence ofthis "chemical cocktail" with mutual love, is just as depressed and unhappy if all the reactions of the body have been unclaimed. One thing is gratifying: for too long all this chemistry does not work. As a rule, after 10-13 months (and sometimes even earlier) a person calms down and passes into a completely different state - it is time to realize that a loved one is far from ideal. You can wait patiently for the time to pass and your soul will calm down from suffering and suffering, or you can try to change the situation yourself. What makes you think that your favorite guy is just a treasure? Surely he has full of serious shortcomings, which are perfectly visible to everyone around him. Everyone except you. Try to make a list of its flaws, if it does not work out - ask for help from common friends and acquaintances. Once you understand that a man is not perfect, you will be much easier to cope with your feelings. But what if, despite all the shortcomings of the beloved, you can not cope with yourself? Then try to move away from the one you love. Avoid meeting with a young man, remove his name from contacts in the phone and from the lists on social networks. The less you communicate with him, the easier it will be for you to survive your condition. Find yourself an occupation to your liking, it will help you to get distracted from sad thoughts. The fact that the man of your dreams for some reason can not answer your feelings is an excellent occasion for self-improvement. You can become slimmer, more beautiful, learn how to sew, drive a car or learn a foreign language. Anything, just to occupy your thoughts with something that is not related to your loved one. Self-perfection will help you to pay attention of the guy to you, and if this does not succeed, then in the loser you still will not remain: you will have new interests, another circle of acquaintances. All this will help overcome the painful feelings and move to the level when a person reassesses himself and others around. Unrequited love is a heavy, depressing feeling, but in it you can find several pluses. First, any strong emotions help us to better understand ourselves and learn to appreciate relationships. Secondly, very often unfortunate lovers find inspiration in their feelings and begin to create: write books, write poems, draw and so on. Sometimes it is unrequited love that helps people create beautiful works of art that delight and delight others. So, if you are in a situation where a loved one can not respond to your feelings, try to experience this experience with dignity. Someday you will definitely meet someone who loves you for real, you just need not lose faith in yourself and hope for the best. We advise you to read: