Children and parents are about love. It must be about love. But in these relations sometimes there is so much hatred that it becomes even scary. After all, this is your most dear person whom you love simply because he is. And he hits on the most painful. Here are two typical stories - different, but equally awful for moms. “In three years, she hated her father. Now she is five years old, she hates me, arguing that I scold her and beat her. Talking to me in an exceptionally capricious, aggressive tone. Calling bad words, which she learned in kindergarten. Trying to disaccustom her from a bad lexicon, I punish. For example, I say: I will hear this word again - you will go to another room. I tried to apologize for mistreatment if I offended her. She confessed her love. All to no avail: cries and says he will not forgive. He tries his best to stab me, to hurt me. What to do? Ignore? To be stricter? Spoil? Wait until it passes? "A photo: GettyImages “At 17, I met my future husband, he was 10 years older than me. Turned out to be a drunken alcoholic. I tried to re-educate him, bore him a son. The husband ran away. In general, I am guilty myself, but this is why it is not easier. Help was neither moral nor financial from anyone. I went to work in another city. Mom could drink and forget about her grandson. As soon as this happened, I returned and did not let her go to her son anymore. She took the child with her. Lived in a removable room. He went to the garden. Even then, he became hysterical, if something did not work or went, not as he wanted. He was just a crumb, and instead of helping him, I was angry at him, scolded, he shouted and stamped his feet. I did not hold back and beat him. Then I found a good job, I was not from morning till late evening. He was with nannies and girlfriends. He became aggressive, at the age of four he learned to lie. I understand, he was looking for my attention, he is a very open boy, but his laughter was heard less and less. I love him very much, but scolded and forbade a lot. Again, she raised her hand, and even insulted. And then it dawned on me what I was doing with my son. He is in 4th grade, he is above average, he does not respect me. That's right, but for what? We swear every day. The son hates me now and says that I am to blame for everything, he is 10 years old, and we have not managed to cope with hysterics. At the word "no", he screams and stomps his feet. With an aunt and grandmother, he does not behave this way. I am very ashamed in front of him and wish that I cripple his life. ”“ I am a bad mother ”- both women set themselves this diagnosis. But maybe this is not quite so and something else can be fixed? To understand this, you need to first understand why we hear these words .... Read More