To trust people or not is a very important questionis very controversial. Each of us has our own point of view on it: someone believes that this should never be done, because you will be deceived, and someone, on the contrary, believes everyone. The truth is most likely somewhere in the middle, or maybe even on the side. Let's try to find it?

What is trust?

In general, trust is a positivecharacteristic of human relationships. Its essence is that we are sure that the person we trust is decent and friendly. With more or less certainty, we can predict his behavior, and this forecast seems very, very positive to us. But these are all rather abstract words. In life, trust is embodied in the fact that we can rely on the one we trust. If we need help, protection and support, then there is confidence that we will receive them. The probability of betrayal, resentment or some other unpleasant act in a trusting relationship tends to zero. Trust is a very fragile thing. In order to build it, you need many, many bricks, and in order to break it, one body movement is enough, after which you say to yourself: “Well, that's it! Now I definitely don’t trust people!” Sometimes these offenses are so serious that it is impossible to return trust back. And this is very sad, because a relationship deprived of it cannot be full-fledged. Without trust, true love, friendship and happiness are impossible - they are based on the ability to open up to another person and become vulnerable because of it.

How to restore trust in your life?

Very often people for whom the question oftrust, already have a negative experience of close relationships: they were offended, abandoned, deceived and betrayed. Agree, after that you don’t want to trust anyone at all! However, it also happens that no one has deceived you, but you don’t want to trust anyone at all. But it is possible to create trust around yourself again - you just have to want it! Well, let's be honest, take a couple of steps in this direction. The following advice will be about how to trust a specific person and people in general:

Answer for yourself the question why you don’ttrust people. Perhaps it is some traumatic situation or an attitude learned in childhood. The first step to solving a problem is always its awareness. Therefore, you should also try to realize what is hindering you.

What are you most afraid of?After all, it is not the betrayal and deception themselves that are scary, but their consequences or what lies behind them. For example, your husband cheated on you. This is just a fact. But for you it means that he no longer loves you, does not want to be with you, therefore, you need to get a divorce. And, fearing that the new man will cheat on you, you are actually afraid of his lack of love and separation from him. Clarify your fears and look them in the eye - this way they will become less impressive.

Identify those people who you absolutely do not care fortrust. Be as clear as possible in your conclusions. Many women have the attitude “all men are bastards, so you shouldn’t trust them.” But it is fundamentally wrong, since it lumps everyone together, and all people are different (including men). This is a normal mechanism for understanding the world, but very often it prevents us from being happy. It is necessary to change such attitudes to specific ones - instead of “I don’t trust men,” let it be “I don’t trust my ex.”

Think about who would be easiest for youtrust. Surely, some of your friends and relatives will be in this circle. If you have already established a trusting relationship with them - great, then you already have a positive experience. If not - go ahead! In order to change something, you need to do something.

Think about what can strengthen your confidence inrelatives. It may be some kind of arrangement, for example, not telling anyone about your secrets. This can be a positive effect of your trust, for example, a sense of intimacy and unity with such a person. Record positive experiences related to trust in another.

Do everything gradually. Do not start trusting everyone right away. First tell a trusted friend some secret. Then start releasing the boyfriend a couple of times a month for night fishing with friends. Then try to make an order without asking for advance payment. Carefully observe the results. Unfortunately, you can be deceived, and this is a fact. The most important is the ability not to spread the likelihood of such deception to all people.

Try to surround yourself with something positive.Read good stories about good people. Watch movies with a happy ending. Talk less to angry, aggressive and suspicious people, because often we are infected with mistrust from them. When you learn to trust other people again, you can try to teach them to do the same. Do charity work - it always has a positive effect on your psychological state, and is also a good illustration of the fact that the world is full of good people.

Actively use positive settings andthinking. Try to think about things and events in a positive way, for example, "the world is just and benevolent" or "this person will behave decently". Repeat these settings several times a day, and a month later they will have an effect.

Think of your own "security system." You can be deceived, but you do not have to put yourself under attack and then seriously suffer from it! When drafting a business agreement with a person, try to identify in it all possible problematic points of your transaction. Asking a friend for help, think of 2-3 alternatives, thanks to which you can solve your problem. Well, in a relationship with a man, do not forget about your own personality and independence: even if something goes wrong, you will always be at home. In the end, you will never let yourself down!

Comments

comments