Trusting people or not is a very, verycontroversial. Each of us has his own point of view on him: someone believes that this can not be done in any case, because they are deceived, and someone, on the contrary, believes in everyone. Truth, most likely, somewhere in the middle, and maybe even on the side. Will we try to find it?

What is trust?

Generally, trust is a positivecharacterization of human relationships. Its essence is that we are sure: the person we trust, is decent and benevolent. With more or less certainty, we can predict its behavior, and this forecast seems to us very, very positive. But these are all quite abstract words. In life, trust is embodied in the fact that we can rely on someone we trust. If we need help, protection and support, that is, we are confident that we will receive them. The probability of betrayal, resentment, or some other unpleasant act in trusting relationships tends to zero. Trust is a very fragile thing. In order to build it, you need a lot of bricks, and in order to break down, one gesture is enough, after which you say to yourself: "Well, everything! Now I certainly do not trust people! ". Sometimes these misdeeds are so serious that it is not possible to return the trust back. And this is very sad, because the relationship, deprived of it, can not be full. Without trust, true love, friendship and happiness are impossible - they are based on the opportunity to open up to another person and become vulnerable from it.

How to restore trust in your life?

Very often people for whom the question oftrust, already have a negative experience of close relationships: they were offended, abandoned, deceived and betrayed. Agree, after this do not want to trust anyone at all! However, it also happens that nobody seems to be deceiving you, and you do not want to trust someone at all. But to create trust around yourself is possible again - you just need to want it! Well, it's a sin to hide a couple of steps in this direction. About how to trust a person specific and people in general, the following tips will be:

Answer for yourself why you are nottrust people. Perhaps this is some kind of traumatic situation or installation, acquired from childhood. The first step to solving a problem is always its awareness. Therefore, you also try to understand what hinders you.

What are you most afraid of? After all, it is not treason itself that betrays and deceives themselves, but their consequences or what is behind it. For example, you changed your husband. It's just a fact. But for you it means that he does not love you anymore, does not want to be with you, therefore, you have to get divorced. And, being afraid that the new man will change you, you are really afraid of his dislike and parting with him. Clear your fears and look them in the eyes - so they will become less impressive.

Identify those people who you do not at alltrust. Be as clear as possible in your conclusions. Many women have the installation "all men are bastards, so they should not be trusted." But it is fundamentally wrong, because they row one size fits all, but all people are different (including men). This is a normal mechanism of knowledge of the world, but very often it prevents us from being happy. It is necessary to change such attitudes to concrete ones - instead of "I do not trust men" let it be "I do not trust my ex."

Think about who would be easiest for youto trust. For sure in this circle will be one of your friends and loved ones. If you have already established a trusting relationship with them - fine, then you already have a positive experience. If not, go ahead! In order to change something, you need to do something.

Think about what can strengthen your confidence inrelatives. It may be some kind of arrangement, for example, not telling anyone about your secrets. This can be a positive effect of your trust, for example, a sense of intimacy and unity with such a person. Record positive experiences related to trust in another.

Do everything gradually. Do not start trusting everyone right away. First tell a trusted friend some secret. Then start releasing the boyfriend a couple of times a month for night fishing with friends. Then try to make an order without asking for advance payment. Carefully observe the results. Unfortunately, you can be deceived, and this is a fact. The most important is the ability not to spread the likelihood of such deception to all people.

Try to surround yourself with something positive. Read good stories about good people. Watch movies with a happy ending. Less communicate with evil, aggressive and suspicious people, because often we become infected with distrust from them. When you re-learn to trust other people, you can try to teach them the same. Take care of charity - it always positively affects your psychological state, and besides it is a good illustration of the fact that the world is full of kind people.

Actively use positive settings andthinking. Try to think about things and events in a positive way, for example, "the world is just and benevolent" or "this person will behave decently". Repeat these settings several times a day, and a month later they will have an effect.

Think of your own "security system." You can be deceived, but you do not have to put yourself under attack and then seriously suffer from it! When drafting a business agreement with a person, try to identify in it all possible problematic points of your transaction. Asking a friend for help, think of 2-3 alternatives, thanks to which you can solve your problem. Well, in a relationship with a man, do not forget about your own personality and independence: even if something goes wrong, you will always be at home. In the end, you will never let yourself down!

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