Let's figure it out: relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law - a duet or a triangle? Is it possible for them to coexist peacefully? Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law - a cat and a dog or best friends? And in general, are there any possible good relationships with the mother of her husband in principle? Or is the conflict between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law inevitable? We will try to find the answers to these questions. Every woman is a real actress inside. During her life she tries on a lot of masks. Someone likes to do it, someone just makes life. But no matter how it was, with the task of reincarnation, each beautiful representative of the weaker sex copes with cheers. So why not try to apply your acting skills to the benefit? 
Why does my mother-in-law hate her daughter-in-law?
Usually a mother-in-law hates her daughter-in-law for a reason. There are good reasons for that. Even at the very beginning of life a woman plays the role of a loving and obedient daughter, feeling the love and care of her mother. As a child, she can only accept love. I myself have to learn to love myself later. Growing up and, of course, falling in love, a young girl begins to give her love herself. Here she already plays in adulthood. Her role is simple and incredibly complex at the same time - she loves and must be loved. This period of time in the life of an inexperienced girl is not easy. Here, often misunderstandings, annoying events, disappointments, betrayals, treason, danger, fear often emerge. In general, everything, than the fine world of adult people is filled. For a young and inexperienced girl, leaping into the abyss of these passions can be quite shocking. In fact, it turns out that her husband, by and large, does not care about her feelings. In her love, he does not need, and her tenderness causes him a mockery and a kind of hatred. In addition, a man very often does not meet any requirements of a young wife. He deliberately tries to destroy her dreams and ideas about a normal man, trying to impress upon her that what she has and the impermissible behavior that he sometimes can afford is the real norm and she has nothing more to wish for. All this is not uncommon in newly formed families. 
Why does the daughter-in-law hate his mother-in-law?
This is much easier to understand and the daughter-in-law herselfher mother-in-law. The daughter-in-law - because she is now, at the moment is overwhelmed by these not the best emotions. Mother-in-law - because she was once a daughter-in-law. And the cause of hatred between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law is, first of all, the conflict of generations. Why? Yes, because youth is characterized by maximalism, excessive self-confidence, inability to compromise. And maturity is the stagnation of views, excessive criticality and absolute faith in one's rightness and one's life experience. The wife believes that only she has the right to "manage" her husband, and any other woman (even his mother) does not have such rights. And who is depriving them of their rights? Wife. But my mother-in-law does not know this. She still believes that she has rights to her child, even if this child has already become a dad. By the way, it is the appearance of a child in the family that sometimes helps to quench the passions. First, the help and advice of mother-in-law (if they are practical) are suddenly vital. And secondly, the daughter-in-law herself becomes a mother and has the opportunity to feel the all-consuming and uncontrollable force of maternal love. Thirdly, the psychology of each of these two women is changing and they are beginning to be related by a truly blood relationship.
The appearance in the family of a child
The family is really bright anda happy moment for a woman is the birth of a child. Here, every woman happily enters into a role that is perhaps the most important in her life - she becomes a mother. If there are some disagreements, misunderstanding and problems with the husband, then the woman usually goes headlong into raising a child. After all, only she is able to protect her baby from the outside world. Actually, the meaning of life turns into a child that no one will take away from his mother. There is a sense of owner and owner. The mother closes on the child, not having in life another beloved being. And, as is known, to love for a woman means not a little. And if she loves, then she does it really sincere and selfless. Everything becomes even worse if the child is a boy. Then the mother tries to embody in him all that her hated husband did not have. When he grows up, he naturally wants to live on his own and find himself a girl. The first love, the adult life, all the same problems that once experienced and the mother herself. And, of course, the guy becomes cramped in those tight constraints that his mother created, trying to protect him from the troubles that she experienced. Now you need to understand the reasons that drive your mother-in-law. True, the position of the daughter-in-law does not improve from this. Relations between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are an eternal confrontation between two women. And it arises at the moment when the adored child falls in love with another girl. The son, who previously belonged to her alone, is distracted by another woman, giving her much of her love. The mother-in-law hates the daughter-in-law not always because of her bad character, but more often under the pressure of circumstances. The situation of hatred and ill will begins to form even before the birth of both the boy and his bride, namely, in the very youth of the mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law hates her daughter-in-law because she has to literally tear her son from her breasts. The girl also does not want to share her beloved husband. She needs his love just as her mother-in-law once needed the love of her husband, whom he did not reward. And such is the psychology of the "average" mother-in-law, that she begins to hate her daughter-in-law so much that even the congratulation of the daughter-in-law, for example, by the new year, is beyond her strength. 
The struggle for husband and son
From the mother's point of view, her mother-in-law considers her young wifea hindrance and a universal evil. A girl from the position of a legitimate wife considers her mother-in-law to be just a razluchnitsey and selfish, often speaking about her not otherwise, as my mother-in-law is a real bastard. Women sometimes so enmity that the congratulation of the daughter-in-law on her birthday for the mother-in-law becomes a real punishment. And, to a huge regret, this situation is not uncommon. And to get out of it is not so simple. Therefore it is much more reasonable not to bring the situation to such a heat of passion, but to try to solve the problem at the very beginning of the conflict situation. Do not try to get away from the problem. After all, it - like a snowball - will only grow if it is not solved. The confrontation between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has long become a national epic and the main theme for mocking jokes. Hatred begins to grow with each passing day more and more. The struggle for the main man in the lives of both women takes serious proportions and sometimes reaches ridiculous absurdity. But, as is known, men fight to the first drop of blood, and women - to the last. Therefore, inferior to women is not in honor. My mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are engaged in a fierce battle. Beginning unflattering and sometimes insulting reviews about each other. Sometimes it comes to the point that the most elementary manifestation of goodwill becomes impossible. Actually in the zone of defeat are absolutely everything: the old mother, the young wife and the hero himself - the beloved son and husband. Usually he tries to stay away from bloody battles, watching the war of two females. Women lead him to the choice: mother or wife. Remember that a man does not like problems (such is his psychology). Therefore, he is likely to escape from both, finding himself a third haven, which will be less turbulent and dangerous for life. Of course, there are exceptions. There are rare species of men in nature who are able to act as adults and make mature decisions. But more often than not, they usually run from problems to places where it's quieter. At best, it will be friends, fishing or giving. But it is also possible a more sad outcome - your husband will simply find a mistress who will understand and comfort him. And you risk losing your husband. Surely you are not doing this? Hatred between women flares up with the desire of power. And this is understandable. Each of them wants to own a man undivided. The wife is the husband, the mother is the son. And it is this thirst for power that inflicts enormous damage on the relations between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law. Snoha does not want to put up with the authority of the older woman. The mother-in-law does not even think about the possibility of respecting the feelings and desires of this "snot." And as a result, the atmosphere is heated to the limit. Life turns into a total hell, and for all household members - husband, wife, mother-in-law. And sometimes children also get - because they are extremely sensitive to everything that happens in the family. And in the end, children are acutely experiencing all quarrels and conflicts of adults.
What to do?
Is it possible to establish a relationship between the daughter-in-lawand in-law. Difficult, but possible. And how to do it? Of course, the best option is to live separately from parents. However, often even a separate housing can not save a young family from the all-seeing eye of the mother-in-law and mother-in-law. Often sister-in-law complains to her friends that her mother-in-law has got her moral teachings and advice that nobody needs. It's not a secret, many of them believe that they got a mother-in-law, or worse, a mother-in-law. And not always this impression corresponds to reality. Whichever situation you have with your mother-in-law, never interfere with your husband in your conflicts, and all the more, do not allow a situation where he will have to make a choice between his mother and his wife, since the choice may not be made in your favor. Agree, because the mother for almost every man always looks more reliable. Understand, mother-in-law, whatever she was, you are not a rival and she can never take your place. And it depends on you, whether you can find a common language with your mother-in-law. And your ultimatum can greatly offend your beloved man. Think about yourself - how would you feel if your spouse did not find a common language with your mother and put you before a choice - he or mom. Agree, this can be regarded as a significant pressure on a person. And believe me - you yourself are likely to risk being in the same situation - your mother-in-law is often no better than her mother-in-law. So is it worth it to risk and give your husband in the hands of your own weapons? And not the best. The mother-in-law should remember about her relationship with her husband's mother and about the mistakes that both women made and that inflicted on their daughter-in-law and mother-in-law. After all, any manifestation of attention and demonstration of respect was for her as a heavy burden, as now for her daughter-in-law. A daughter-in-law must understand that sooner or later she too will become a mother-in-law and mother-in-law. And before you start to find out the relationship with your mother-in-law, try to put yourself in her place. For the sake of justice, it should be noted that in life there are exceptions. There are families in which the mother-in-law sincerely loves the wife of her son, and she reciprocates. And it's fine, even if it's not true. Even if women just managed to find the strength to let each other know that they are loved, in demand and respected. Love each other! Even if you are in-law or daughter-in-law. Because only love will save the world! We advise you to read:
