is there a friendship between a man and a woman The question of whether there is friendship between a manand a woman, worries the minds of our time no less than the question of whether there is life on Mars. So the person is arranged - he seeks to know the world in all its diversity. And in the relations between the sexes, friendship is quite an important milestone, and an unambiguous understanding of this topic would substantially reduce the amount of anxiety and ambiguity. Let's try to understand?

What is friendship?

In order to understand whether there is friendship betweena man and a woman, it is necessary to determine whether it is in this world at all. And already here serious disagreements begin, after all the concept "friendship" can include the most different values. In particular, many people call the word "friend" of their numerous acquaintances. Who are they? In fact, these are just people whom we, for one reason or another, are allotted from the general mass. We know their names and surnames, we see each other periodically, we know their problems and we even help each other sometimes. With some of our acquaintances we have excellent relations, but there is no feeling of complete mutual understanding. In dealing with them, you can not be completely frank - you still have to wear some kind of mask anyway. At the thought of them, we do not have a slight smile on our lips, and when they finally achieve success in something, instead of joy we feel a slight stab of envy. Of course, they are not strangers to us people, but these friends, by and large, different relationships can not be called a language. I want to highlight the so-called "mercenary" or utilitarian relations. Do not take them as something bad: it's just an interaction that benefits both sides. Sympathy here is minimized, and the relationship itself exists exactly as long as the mutual interest continues. This category includes communication on work, between neighbors and so on. Sometimes we call friendship what is much more correct to call solidarity. There are life situations when we, together with someone, unite against someone or against something, and it seems that on one side there are friends together, and on the other - enemies. It would seem that this is a true friendship, in which close people are united by values, beliefs or something even more important. But in fact, in such solidarity, the personal component is very small, because friendship is not only something in common, but also psychological compatibility - in character or something else. The main thing here is a common uniting collective of the team, leveling everything that makes us unique and underlies true intimacy. And, finally, the fourth kind of relationship, which we most often call friendship, is mutual sympathy. We like a person, he is pleasant in communication, and we feel harmony, being near to him. Of course, this kind of relationship is closest to true friendship, but you can not put an equal sign between them. Such connections are often rather superficial and short-lived, so that something more should be applied to mutual sympathy. So, it is obvious that friendship means something more than just communication, mutual sympathy and common beliefs. It also adds a willingness to help and support, and also implies a certain time interval for which friendship goes its way of becoming. This is a deep feeling, involving mutual devotion, honesty and openness. This is a complex and multifaceted notion. Naturally, for each of us, friendship will have its own unique characteristics, and that is why the question arises whether there is an inter-sex friendship. Men and women often resemble creatures from different planets, and it is unclear whether there can be something in common between them, not tied to sex? there is friendship between a man and a woman

Arguments against"

Naturally, opponents of the existence of friendshipbetween a man and a woman very much. They give quite logical arguments in favor of their position, proving it with very bright and colorful examples from life. So, why there is no friendship between the sexes?

  • Mutual attraction This is the most important argumentopponents of platonic relations. "You see," they say, "the organisms of a man and a woman are arranged in such a way that when they see each other, they automatically develop the corresponding hormones, and a mutual attraction comes." Say, this very attraction and prevents us from treating each other with all seriousness. Jokes are jokes, and in fact it is really very powerful force, it is simply impossible to stand in the way. It's another matter that the attraction is not always developed for us and not for everyone, and why not be friends with those people who do not like us? Opponents of inter-sex friendship argue that in such relationships one is always "unevenly breathing" towards the other, and friends in the full sense of the word they can not be called.
  • "We are so different ..." No less important argumentagainst friendship between boys and girls is the presence of cardinal differences very much and very much in many respects. Let's take, for example, thinking: men basically create logical and purposeful judgments, and women are emotional and focus on the process. Or, if we talk about interests - women like to discuss relationships, family, beauty and fashion, and men - technology, government, work. All these differences can significantly impede communication between men and women.
  • Misunderstanding Both men and women in their own wayrepresent friendship. For girls, friendship is a source of support and understanding, an opportunity to share emotions with another person, and also to experience some new experience together. The male part is friendly and fun. Discussing some problems, they immediately come up with how to solve this or that situation. Although this happens quite rarely - mostly they just have a great time. That's why it often makes no sense to complain to a male friend about the boss: he will advise you to quit and will not understand what else you need from him.

So it turns out that if a guy likesa girl, then he falls in love with her and gets in a relationship, and if not, why bother communicating with her at all? Exceptions are only cases described by the formula "outwardly it is unattractive, but a good person". But the reason for friendship here is the impossibility of attraction, and if it were, then there would be no friendship.

Arguments for"

However, once this question arises, the casesfriendship exists between a man and a woman. Really, why should not she be? Still, friendship is a concept that applies equally to both sexes. What can be the arguments in its defense?

  • "We are so different ..." The argument is still the same, howeverthe meaning of it can be quite different. Since we are different, it means that we can give a lot to each other: a girl can regret a guy while his male friends will not do it. The guy can give the girl a very sensible advice and really help solve her problem, unlike the oohs and sighs that surrounded her girlfriends. We can tell each other a lot of interesting things, expand the horizons of each other, and be indispensable advisers in matters of gender relations.
  • The cultural shift The belief that betweenmen and women do not have friendship, is rooted in the deep past, when the only common space on which they could cross was love. They were instructed not to communicate and not talk to each other, except for romantic circumstances. But times change, and now women and men have many more points of contact, as well as zones in which they can simply communicate as friends.
  • The value of each friend After all, a friend isin the first place a person, and his sex may not affect the relationship. Kindness, decency, honesty, responsiveness - all these qualities by and large are equally inherent in both men and women. If a person wants to be friends with another person, then the sex in this case will not be an obstacle, and the establishment of close and sincere relations will be the main thing.

friendship between a man and a woman exists

How to make friends with a man?

Even if you do not fully believe in the existenceof this phenomenon, the need for a male shoulder still remains in each of us. After all, sometimes I so much want to just talk with a man without a hint of romance! One question arises: how to realize this idea and to circumvent the possible "pitfalls" of such relations?

  • Set Boundaries Immediately! This is very important, because most of the friendship between a man and a woman is destroyed due to the fact that one of them misunderstands his role, opportunities, rights and duties. Simply put, your friend can suddenly try to kiss you, because he thinks it's right. Or come to you in half a night, despite your violent protests. All these and many other things need to be discussed at a time when it becomes clear that you are friends.
  • Do not provoke Statistics show that inThere are two kinds of misconceptions about this relationship: a man is more inclined to believe that a woman secretly is attracted to him, and it is only necessary to take the first step to make it happen, and the woman, on the contrary, is inclined not to see that a man feels sympathy for her. So, in such conditions it is very important not to allow some flirtations towards your friend, otherwise you risk being misunderstood and provoking him to take decisive actions that you yourself do not need.
  • Be interesting. Men prefer to be friends withmen are not accidental: they are completely uninteresting those things that women are fond of. Therefore, if you want to find a friend among the strong half of humanity, then you should start to understand the truly masculine themes: computers, technology, hunting, cars, football, sports orienteering or something else. There are few such women, and men are drawn to them. Perhaps this is even useful when you communicate with the gentlemen.
  • Gender equality Druzhba differs from sex-rolethe relationship is that in both partners in this case should be in equal positions, otherwise sooner or later one of them will become tired of such communication (love and passion usually help to overcome a possible imbalance). Therefore, if you want to build friendly relations with a man, stop using "you are a strong man - help me" or "who is a man, he pays".
  • In general, the question of the existence of inter-sex friendshipcan be considered closed, because such cases occur, and this is obvious for any of us. Another thing is that often it is not entirely clear what is this friendship - an independent phenomenon or a transition to a romantic love? And if such a couple continues to be friends, then maybe they are just "stuck" at this stage, and their relationship can be reborn at any moment? So far, there are more questions than answers, but they sound somewhat different. And, most likely, each of us will independently resolve each of them. We advise you to read: