Female friendship… A concept that is used to createif not legends and tales, then certainly songs and poems. You can break spears in polemical fervor, proving that female friendship does not exist, citing numerous arguments and examples from history. Or you can study this type of relationship at an almost academic level. In both cases, the psychology of female friendship will always be a subject of debate, arguments and even prerequisites for the development of conflict situations.

From the depths of centuries ...

So what is female friendship and does it exist?She? The fact that friendly relations between the fair half of humanity have existed since ancient times is not disputed even by the most orthodox skeptics. And not at all because women are more inclined to communication and mutual support in difficult life situations, although these factors cannot be discounted. Female friendship arose for quite objective reasons. Let's take a typical picture of the not so distant past. The male part of the population was mostly busy earning a living for the family. That is, the female "hope and support" spent the lion's share of the time outside the home, working and getting tired. If a harsh war time happened (which happened quite often), men, of course, stood up to defend the family hearth. Women, fortunately, there were always quite a lot of them, had no choice but to communicate within their circle. Relatives on the female line, neighbors, casual acquaintances - it was in such conditions that real female friendship was formed.

Boys to boys, girls to girls

If you look closely, you will see that the psychology of womenfriendship becomes more understandable in childhood. Without going into scientific depths, we will illustrate the postulate with an elementary example. From childhood, when sending children for a walk in the yard, parents almost reflexively supplement the sending with instructions like “go, walk with the girls” for girls and, vice versa, for boys. Girls, huddled in flocks, swaddle dolls, play “house”, and boys play football in a gang or, for example, climb around in attics. Everyone takes this fact for granted - after all, this order of things has always existed, and there is no reason to change it. It is quite natural that children learn to communicate in the company of peers of the same sex. And it is equally natural that in these companies the psychology of friendship is born, and the rules of best friends are laid. It would be logical to conclude from this that parents, without even knowing it, lay the foundation for future female friendship in childhood. Consequently, friendly affection between girls is nothing more than a socially significant factor. There are other reasons that strengthen the soil of such friendly relations. It is quite natural that it is much easier for girls to communicate with representatives of their own sex than with boys. Not only the psychology of relationships and the difference in perception play a role here. It is always easier for a girl to find common ground with a girl; they are much more likely to have similar interests and passions. There is no barrier that so hinders the establishment of casual contact between representatives of different sexes. As a result, there is no breeding ground for conflicts and misunderstandings, which greatly contributes to the deepening and development of friendly relations between girls.

The language barrier

Another factor that contributes to the emergence andstrengthening female friendship, is a way of communication. In general, it is this that determines the rules of best friends. It has long been proven that men and women sometimes have different communicative skills, like inhabitants of different galaxies. For women, the emotional, sensual component plays an extremely important role in communication. While the representatives of the stronger half of the human race are more suited to the language of information. You don’t have to go far for examples. Take a group of men. Communication in it, if you listen carefully, practically does not contain brightly colored emotions and similar manifestations. Circumstances are presented in an almost telegraphic style, without figurative and expressive expressions. Of course, much depends on the level of education and speech culture. There are individuals among the male population - and their number is quite large - who fill the emptiness of the vocabulary with examples of taboo vocabulary and parasitic words. In any case, in order for the information conveyed to be perceived better by the interlocutors, the speaker can decorate the speech with jokes of dubious nature or primitive images, causing, at best, obscene grins of those present. That is, communication in a male group, as a rule, most often has a stable tendency towards primitivism, which cannot be said about a female group. Ladies and young ladies build their communication on an emotional basis, which gives women's conversations a unique charm and color. The question arises: why is the emotional sphere so differently structured in men and women? The answer, oddly enough, lies in the biology of the sexes. Men are destined by nature to be protectors and providers, and these qualities are least of all associated with excessive emotions and sensuality. Women, whose biological role is largely determined by the birth and upbringing of children, cannot do without sensuality and emotions. After all, in order to raise children, you need to speak to them in a language they understand, and the basis of the still limited children’s vocabulary is emotions and feelings.

Psychology of female friendship

"Not so different from each other..." It is thisThe line from "Eugene Onegin" can most accurately characterize how little women and men have in common emotionally. If in men - with rare exceptions - this quality is not well developed, then in women everything is exactly the opposite. It is no coincidence that hysterics and other "excessive" manifestations of feelings are so vividly expressed by representatives of the fairer sex. And only another woman can understand the strong emotional turmoil and experiences of one woman, who knows exactly how to become a best friend. Subconscious understanding of this is another cornerstone on which the psychology of friendship between women rests. Emotions are the palette of colors that make communication between women especially warm and sincere. But this medal has a flip side. For example, based on communication based only on emotions, one can often draw conclusions that have nothing in common with reality. For example, a lady wants to share news with her friend or a fresh story about how their mutual acquaintance unexpectedly got married. The subscriber on the other end of the line is terribly busy and promises to call back later. The friend forgets about her promise in the chaos of her business. The one who was not called back, naturally, is offended, and on the basis of this insignificant episode, she concludes that the former friendship is no more. If we consider relationships in the light of precisely these aspects, then the psychology of male relationships, devoid of excessive emotional coloring and insignificant conventions, seems much more convenient for communication.

Is your best friend a friend or an enemy?

Many argue that friendship between womenбыть не может. Это не так. Разумеется, в аспекте женской дружбы лучшая подруга порой выступает в противоположных ипостасях. Она может быть почти сестрой, которой можно доверить самые сокровенные секреты, поддержкой в любой ситуации, «жилеткой» для слез и понимающим собеседником, которому можно открыть душу. Правда, здесь есть опасность «перегрузить» подругу своими проблемами и тем самым добиться противоположного эффекта. Другая крайность также, увы, имеет место быть. Нередки случаи, когда лучшая подруга становится любовницей мужа. Зная все тонкости его поведения, она без труда соблазняет мужчину. Жена, как водится в таких случаях, обо всем узнает последней. Чтобы избежать таких крайностей, женщине, вышедшей замуж, порой приходится очень продуманно выстраивать общение с подругой, от которой еще вчера не могло быть никаких секретов. Встречаются и варианты, когда лучшая подруга играет отведенную роль. Например, одна подруга, обладающая не очень привлекательной для мужчин внешностью, как бы оттеняет собой другую, которая на таком фоне смотрится моделью, приковывающей мужское внимание. Какова же психология женской дружбы в этом случае? В таком тандеме есть глубокий смысл. Первая красавица ощущает себя покорительницей мужских сердец, и это самоутверждение ее вполне устраивает. А дурнушка вполне довольствуется тем, что ей почти всегда дарят симпатию мужчины, отвергнутые подругой. В любых отношениях важно соблюдение принципа равновесия и сохранения душевной энергии. «Думать о других немножко больше», – это строка из старой песни не потеряла актуальности и сегодня. Отдавать столько же, сколько и получаешь, никак не меньше. Как можно чаще говорить теплые слова лучшей подруге. Быть донором, а не вампиром. И только такая дружба, не питающаяся ядовитыми соками вражды, зависти и неприязни, способна принести много радости и стать одним из смыслов жизни. Итак, бывает ли женская дружба, дружба, воспетая в песнях и поверенная суровой жизненной практикой? Как стать хорошей подругой? Не занимаемся ли мы современным мифотворчеством, продолжая верить в это уникальное явление? Где истина? Конечно, как и в любом другом случае, истина где-то посредине. Дружба между женщинами, как и любая другая, – это баланс интересов, и конечно, взаимоуважение. Если отношения между подругами не будут заквашены на сентиментальном пафосе, а будут строиться на основе упомянутых принципов, то вполне можно будет вести речь о той гармонии, которая так редко встречается в природе. Женская дружба и ее психология – явления феноменальные по своей сути. И этот феномен, который в процессе эволюции значительно изменился, и сегодня не устает поражать исследователей своей глубиной. От пассивной роли домашней хозяйки, берегущей очаг, женщина полностью вошла в другой образ – создательницы этого очага, выбирающей себе партнера для жизни. Смещение гендерных акцентов приводит к тому, что женщинам просто необходимо привносить в свою модель общения некоторые традиционно мужские элементы. Кроме того, психология и мужской, и женской дружбы обладает общими чертами, позволяющими сохранить это поистине прекрасное чувство. Взаимная честность и открытость, умение простить случайную вину и не вспоминать ее при каждом удобном случае – вот те «киты», которые лежат в основе настоящих близких отношений, которые ставятся наравне с любовью. Советуем почитать:

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