Female friendship ... The concept, which is composed ifnot legends and legends, then certainly songs and poems. It is possible to break spears in polemical fervor, proving that female friendship does not exist, citing numerous arguments and examples from history. And you can study this kind of relationship at an almost academic level. And in either case, the psychology of women's friendship will always be the subject of controversy, debate and even the prerequisites for the development of conflict situations.
From the depths of centuries ...
So what is female friendship, and does it exist? The fact that friendship between representatives of the beautiful half of humanity existed from time immemorial is not disputed even by the most orthodox skeptics. And not because women are more inclined to communicate and support each other in difficult life situations, although these factors can not be discounted. Female friendship arose for quite objective reasons. Let's take a typical picture of a not so old past. The male part of the population was for the most part engaged in livelihoods for the family. That is, the lion's share of time female "hope and support" spent outside the home, working and tired. If there was a severe military year, (which happened often enough), men, of course, stood up for the protection of the family hearth. For women, the good of them has always been a lot, nothing left, how to communicate in their own circle. Relatives along the women's line, neighbors, casual acquaintances - it was in such conditions that a true female friendship was formed.
Boys to boys, girls to girls
If you look closely, the psychology of female friendshipmore becomes clear even in childhood. Without going into the scientific jungle, we illustrate the postulate with an elementary example. From the very childhood, sending children to take a walk in the yard, parents almost reflexively supplement the sending with the instruction "go for a walk with girls" for girls and, on the contrary, for boys. Girls, having got into flocks, swaddle puppets, play in "daughters-mothers", and boys in a band drive in football or, for example, climb on attics. Everyone takes this fact for granted, because such an order of things has always existed, and there is no reason to change it. It is only natural that children are accustomed to communicate in the company of peers of their gender. And it is just as natural that in these companies the psychology of friendship is born and the rules of the best friends are laid. Hence, it is quite logical to conclude that parents, without knowing it, are still laying the foundation for future female friendship as a child. Consequently, the friendship of the girls' friends is nothing more than a socially significant factor. There are other reasons that reinforce the ground of such friendly relations. It is quite natural that girls are much easier to communicate with women of their sexes than with boys. Here the role is played not only by the psychology of relations and the difference in perception. A girl with a girl is always easier to find common points of contact, they are more likely to have similar interests and addictions. There is not the barrier that hinders the establishment of a casual contact between representatives of different sexes. As a consequence, there is no breeding ground for conflicts and misunderstandings, which greatly contributes to the deepening and development of friendly relations between girls.
The language barrier
Another factor contributing to the emergence andstrengthening of female friendship, - a way of communication. In general, it is he who determines the rules of the best friends. It has long been proven that in men and women, communicative properties sometimes differ, as in the inhabitants of different galaxies. For women in communication, an emotional, sensual component plays an extremely important role. While representatives of the strong half of the human race are more suitable language of information. For examples you can not go far. Take the company of men. Communication in it, if you listen carefully, almost does not contain brightly colored emotions and similar manifestations. Circumstances are set forth practically in a telegraphic style, without figurative and expressive expressions. Of course, much depends on the level of education and culture of speech. There are individuals among the male part of the population - and their number is large enough - that fill the void of the vocabulary with samples of taboo vocabulary and parasitic words. In any case, in order for the transmitted information to be perceived better by the interlocutors, the speaker can decorate the speech with jokes of doubtful quality or with primitive images that, at best, cause scabrous smirks of those present. That is, communication in a male team, as a rule, usually has a stable tendency towards primitivism, which can not be said about the female team. Ladies and ladies build their communication on emotional ground, which gives women's conversations a unique charm and color. The question arises: why is the emotional sphere so differently arranged for men and women? The answer, oddly enough, lies in the biology of the sexes. For men, nature is reserved for the role of defenders and miners, and these qualities are least connected with excessive emotions and sensuality. Women, whose biological role is largely determined by the birth and upbringing of children, can not do without sensuality and emotions. After all, to raise children, they need to speak in a language they understand, and the basis of the childish lexicon is emotions and feelings.
Psychology of female friendship
"Not so different among themselves ..." It is thisa line from "Eugene Onegin" can be most accurately characterized by how little common emotionally in women and men. If for men - with rare exceptions - this quality is not developed well enough, then in women everything is exactly the opposite. It is no accident that hysterics and other "over-normative" displays of feelings are so vividly expressed in the representatives of the weaker sex. And to understand the strong emotional unrest and emotions of one woman is only able to another woman who knows exactly how to become a best friend. The subconscious understanding of this is another cornerstone on which the psychology of friendship between women rests. Emotions - this is the palette of colors that make communication between women especially warm and sincere. But this medal has a downside. For example, based on communication based only on emotions, it is often possible to draw conclusions that have nothing to do with reality. For example, a lady wants to share with her friend news or a fresh story about how suddenly their common acquaintance married. The subscriber on the other end of the wire is terribly busy, and promises to call back later. A friend forgets her promise in the turmoil of affairs. The one who was not called back naturally takes offense, and on the basis of this insignificant episode concludes that the former friendship is no more. If we consider relations in the light of just such aspects, then the psychology of male relations, devoid of excessive emotional coloring and minor conventions, seems much more convenient for communication.
Is your best friend a friend or an enemy?
Many argue that friendship between womenit can not be. This is not true. Of course, in the aspect of female friendship, the best friend sometimes appears in opposite ways. She can be almost a sister, who can be trusted with the most secret secrets, support in any situation, a "vest" for tears, and an understanding interlocutor who can open the soul. However, here there is a danger of "overloading" your girlfriend with your problems and thereby achieving the opposite effect. The other extreme, alas, has a place to be. There are often cases when the best friend becomes the mistress of her husband. Knowing all the subtleties of his behavior, she easily seduces a man. The wife, as usual in such cases, learns about everything from the latter. To avoid such extremes, a woman who has married, sometimes has to work out a very thoughtful communication with a friend, from which there could not have been any secrets yesterday. There are also options when the best friend plays the assigned role. For example, one girlfriend who has a look that is not very attractive to men, seems to shade the other, which looks like a model on this background, which attracts men's attention. What is the psychology of female friendship in this case? In such a tandem there is a deep meaning. The first beauty feels like a subjugator of men's hearts, and this self-affirmation is quite acceptable to her. A plain woman is satisfied with the fact that she is almost always given sympathy to a man rejected by a friend. In any relationship, it is important to observe the principle of balance and preserve mental energy. "To think of others a little more" - this line from the old song has not lost its relevance today. Give as much as you get, no less. As often as possible, speak warm words to your best friend. To be a donor, not a vampire. And only such a friendship that does not feed on the poisonous juices of enmity, envy and dislike, can bring a lot of joy and become one of the meanings of life. So, is there a female friendship, friendship, singing in songs and having a hard life practice? How to become a good friend? Are we engaged in modern mythmaking, continuing to believe in this unique phenomenon? Where is the truth? Of course, as in any other case, the truth is somewhere in the middle. Friendship between women, like any other, is a balance of interests, and of course, mutual respect. If the relationship between friends is not fermented with sentimental pathos, and will be built on the basis of the above principles, then it is entirely possible to talk about the harmony that is so rare in nature. Female friendship and its psychology are phenomenal in nature. And this phenomenon, which in the process of evolution has changed significantly, and today does not get tired to impress researchers with its depth. From the passive role of the housewife, who is guarding the hearth, the woman completely entered another image - the creator of this hearth, choosing herself a partner for life. The shift in gender accents leads to the fact that women simply need to introduce some traditionally male elements into their communication model. In addition, the psychology of both male and female friendship has common features that make it possible to preserve this truly wonderful feeling. Mutual honesty and openness, the ability to forgive accidental guilt and not remember it at every opportunity - these are the "whales" that lie at the heart of true intimate relationships that are placed on a par with love. We advise you to read: