Why did the once caring and loving manturns into a cruel, dangerous person, terrorizing the whole family? Whose fault is it that the husband beats his pregnant wife, mocks her feelings, drives her crazy? Many representatives of the fair sex suffer from such relationships in the family. Husbands wave their fists, insult, humiliate not only their wives, but also small children. At first, this is perceived as an accident - accumulated stress and other troubles, but soon such behavior becomes the "norm", and women fall into despair. Some of the unhappy wives continue to suffer and forgive their tormentor husbands even after bruises under the eyes and other injuries. Remember the proverb: if a husband beats his wife, it means he loves her. They are ready to blame themselves for everything, believing that they themselves made a mistake - they could not calm her down, help, caress her in time. Wives believe the sworn promises of their other half that he will never do this again. Representatives of the fair sex continue to hope and live, fearing new beatings. He beat, beats and will beat. As a rule, if a man has ever raised his hand against his woman, it will be repeated again and again. They break a certain moral barrier when they suddenly understand that they can beat without receiving any punishment or resistance. There are rare cases when the husband really realizes his actions, repents and does not repeat the mistakes - if he acted in a state of affect. Although even this does not justify him either.
Aggressive men: who should avoid
Men who raise their hands against their wives, conditionallyare divided into two types: "pit bulls" and "cobras". The first type, "pit bulls", is the most common. They gradually build up their rage, tormenting their wives with caustic remarks and insults. Husbands "wind up" themselves to the point where they can rush and hit. Typical dog behavior. Such men are most often psychologically dependent on their wives. This is no longer love, but an illness generated by the desire to humiliate and put a loved one in their place. The wives of such people have to watch their every gesture, look and word, so as not to, God forbid, awaken aggression in them. Such families isolate themselves from friends, relatives and live in complete isolation, alone with their problems. "Cobra" men are much less common, but their behavior is difficult to predict. They do not need to inflame themselves - on the contrary, they attack silently and unexpectedly. During the attack, they have a completely calm, even absent look. At the same time, neither temperature nor blood pressure rises. At the slightest provocation, they beat their wives half to death in cold blood. They beat you regardless of your health or situation. It is easy to raise a hand against a pregnant woman. These are very dangerous and cruel men, although their rage is easier to redirect into a calmer channel. Realizing that the victim does not respond to his bullying, they can find another subject to relieve irritation. But do not be happy about this: such a source can be your family, friends and even children.
Why does a man dissolve his hands?
The idea that all representativesThe fair sex, who suffer beatings from men - timid, submissive and downtrodden, is not always true. Most often, wives themselves actively participate in squabbles, are sarcastic, insult and even beat their partners. To their credit, it should be said that all this happens in response to threats from their husbands. They, just like men, quickly flare up and become aggressive even over trifles. Representatives of the fair sex lose their heads and get their husbands even more excited, which ultimately leads to a fight. And while men fight for power in their home, women fight for their lives. What is happening to men? Why does a husband beat his wife? How do they become tyrants and who is to blame for this? There is an explanation for everything. And the origins should be sought in the past (in childhood, previous relationships, etc.). A man does not become a tyrant and a sadist out of nowhere.
- Children's psychological trauma
The most common case is memories offather's behavior in his own family. If your husband had the same problems with his parents as a child, the likelihood of abusing his own family is very high. As a little boy, he watched in horror as his enraged father humiliated and beat his mother. He suffered deeply from fear and injustice and swore to himself that he would never allow himself to be like his dad. However, this behavior pattern is the only thing he has learned since childhood. He simply does not understand how to resolve the conflict in any other way, which is why he repeats his father's actions on a subconscious level. After all, if the husband beats his mother, why shouldn't he discipline his wife in the same way. If your young man is from such a family, and he is already starting to show signs of aggression, persuade him to go to a psychologist. Explain the complexity of the situation, tell him how much you love him and how you do not want your child to see what he had to see. If your spouse has a desire to keep the marriage loving and strong, he will certainly agree to your proposal. Although, unfortunately, this only works if the husband himself is burdened by his behavior and wants to change himself. Be vigilant while you can fix everything. If he has already beaten you at least once, it will be more difficult to cure your loved one. Plus, you will need to forgive him. But will you be able to do this?
- Alcoholism
How many families in Russia suffer from this disease!The husband drinks and beats his wife, being in a state of insanity for most of his life. Sometimes the woman begins to drown her grief in alcohol along with him, unable to find a way out and preferring to forget about mental and physical pain. And two drinking spouses in a family is a disaster, destroying everything in its path. Even if a woman does not drink alcohol, she still falls out of life and is completely dependent on the state of her husband. Eternal expectation - will he come home drunk or sober, will he break down again or leave her alone. The psyche of alcoholics is disturbed, they are unable to control their own behavior, their actions are inadequate. Most injuries and murders on domestic grounds occur precisely at the moment of alcohol intoxication. It is very difficult to treat such people, but if you want to save the relationship and return your husband to normal, it is worth a try. The main thing is to try to solve this problem together. If a man does not have a sincere desire to quit drinking, then nothing will work. All the advertised means of removing alcohol addiction without the patient's knowledge are myths and fairy tales of marketers. Remind him of the best things that were in your life together. Try to convince him that you need him healthy and adequate, that you and your children do not want to suffer anymore. Explain that if a husband beats his wife and abuses her, all family members suffer. If the degree of alcoholism is not too advanced, your spouse may decide to get treatment and quit drinking. If the physiological and psychological dependence is so high that it becomes an instinct for him, then he will rather prefer a bottle to his family. In this case, take care of yourself and the health of your children, and stay away from the alcoholic.
- Humiliated and offended
Another example of a tyrant husband is a man with lowself-esteem. He is unlucky around him, people treat him mockingly, his team does not respect him and does not appreciate him. Unable to satisfy their usually high ambitions, such men splash out all their negativity at home - on the closest and most loving people. Here they certainly cannot get the rebuff they deserve and, finally, rise in their own eyes. The main thing is superiority, at least over weak women and children. They need proof of their "dominance" in the house like air, because only in this way are they worth something in their own eyes. They take revenge for insults, for disrespect, for laughing at themselves. Ordinary losers, unable to realize themselves in life, trample their loved ones and relatives into the dirt. This is how they live. He is an energy vampire. If your husband is a tyrant of this type, then immediately save yourself from him. Egoism is incurable, promises to improve are false. Don't become a punching bag for someone who wants to raise their self-esteem in this way. He will continue to hit you just as he did before.
- The darling of fate
A husband who beats his family can becomea person who was spoiled a lot in childhood. He is used to the fact that everyone around indulges his desires, any of his “I want” is the law of life for those around him. A person simply cannot understand why his wife does not immediately fulfill all his demands and does not stand at attention when he approaches. Not having received what they want, such people can fall into uncontrollable aggression and “punish” their loved ones for a long time for the offense they caused. Not having been accustomed to independence since childhood, they demand from their wives what they cannot do themselves. This is not only men's work around the house, but also solving financial and household issues. As a rule, they do not consider cheating a sin at all - after all, such “wonderful people” are allowed absolutely everything! And if suddenly their wives decide to tell them what to do, then you just need to teach them a lesson and show who is the boss in the house. Dear women, if your husband is like such a person - run and do not look back. No love is worth such mental and physical pain. And if you have children, protect them from mental trauma, give them the opportunity to grow up to be worthy, happy people!
What women suffer bullying and humiliation
Why do the fair sexAre you ready to forgive your cruel husbands forever and be with them? Is it fear, loneliness or some incomprehensible masochism? Is love really so blind that it allows them to chain themselves to a lifelong prison of humiliation and pain?
- Naivety or greed
As mentioned earlier, women think:"When my husband beats me, that's how he shows his feelings." This fairy tale has long lost its relevance. Once upon a time, our great-grandmothers got married by arrangement with their parents, without even seeing the groom before the wedding. And they lived together all their lives - be it a successful marriage or an unhappy existence. Since divorce was impossible, the saying "a husband beats his wife, it means he loves her" was salvation and an explanation for what was happening. And what about now? Even now, despite the propaganda against violence, women are sure that beatings are the norm for almost every modern family. After all, neighbors and relatives also have scandals. The husband beats them, and then repents, gives them flowers, gold, diamonds and vows that this was the last time. It gets to the point that some wives see a split personality in their husbands: they consider the kind one with flowers to be real, and the aggressive one with fists - an accident, illness, circumstances. By the way, sometimes the fair sex subconsciously begins to provoke their spouse so that he will shower them with gifts the next day. But, unfortunately, in such cases, fights happen more and more often, and apologies – less and less often.
- Threats to suicide
Sometimes men blackmail their wives by saying they will end their marriagewith them if they leave them. Often, such words do not contain a real threat, it is just a reason to always keep you with them and have the ability to control you. Plus, women become compliant and begin to be afraid of even their own shadow. Who wants to be the cause of someone else's death, even if this person brings moral and physical pain. Living in constant fear and tension, fearing for the possible death of a loved one "due to your fault" - is this what you expected when you got married? If you give in to such blackmail, you will forever be a guilty and deeply unhappy woman without guilt. And after a couple of decades, such a "male" may leave for another, and you will be left with nothing. Because of constant worries and nervous breakdowns, your hair will start to turn gray ahead of time, wrinkles will appear and the sparkle in your eyes will disappear. Do you need this? Do not pity your husband, be a femme fatale - give him the opportunity to do as he sees fit. Only a few are capable of taking such a terrible step as suicide. The most they can do is to fake an attempt to keep you on a short leash. Otherwise, they only develop a sense of guilt and despair in their wives. By the way, all suicides are registered in a psychiatric hospital. And in some cases, he will have a very hard time, especially if he wants to change jobs or get his own transport. Do not forget to tell your spouse about this.
- Children need a father
Many representatives of the fair sexThey think that a tyrant father is better than no father at all. This is where they are sorely mistaken. Seeing their parents' constant scandals and fights, children are deeply traumatized. This is dangerous for boys - when they grow up, they copy their father's behavior in their family. It is hard for girls - in the future, to create a family, they will subconsciously look for cruel men similar to their father. As a result, a tyrant will ruin the life of not only you, but also your innocent children. Sometimes, husbands even raise their hand against them, which cannot but affect the mental and physical health of the children. Do you know that most juvenile murderers are convicted of killing fathers who beat their wives and children? And public opinion condemns the mother for all this, who did not protect her child from such a "loving" and "caring" father.
- Material dependence
One of the common reasons why wives don't leavehusbands who beat them - financial dependence. They have nowhere and nothing to live on. This situation often occurs in families where wives either do not work or receive a very small salary. What to do if your husband beats you in this case? Despite such difficulties, if you want, you can find a way out. Ask for help from relatives and friends, explain the situation and ask for help. They will definitely support you and help you hold out for the first time until you find a job. Understand that the safety of your children is also in your hands. Many successful, financially independent women also started from scratch. And they were in the same terrible circumstances (and even worse). And if they were able to rise, then you can do it too. Right?
Aggressive husbands - the problem of the twenty-first century
If you are still wondering whether to continue living in torment, or if you think that a beating husband is your karma, consider the following information:
- In Russia, at the hands of her husband or cohabitant, a woman dies every 40 minutes. Each year a terrible number varies from 12 to 14 thousand people;
- The risk of dying by the hand of a stranger in our country is lower by an order of magnitude than in one's own family;
- Every day, every 36,000 women are beaten by their husbands and roommates;
- More than 50 thousand children run away from home, fleeing from beating up their parents;
- About 2,000 children take their lives every year. The reason - they were beaten by one of the parents.
Perhaps this data will push you to the right decision and help you understand whether it is worth living with someone who poses a threat to you and your loved ones.
When an adequate man can raise his hand
A real man never and under no circumstancescircumstances should not raise a hand against a woman. This is a rule that every representative of the stronger sex should know. But, as always, there are exceptions. A young man can hit if, for example, his life is in danger. This is embedded at the level of instinct. Aggression is manifested if the same applies to his children. Therefore, you should not rush at your husband with a frying pan or at your children with a belt. The consequences can be sad. Marital infidelity can also drive a man crazy. Especially if he has devoted his whole life to his family, and she is walking around, say, with his best friend. Unfortunately, many murders are committed due to jealousy. The person is in a state of affect. There is no justification for this, but you should still be honest with your loved one. And be careful. We recommend reading:
