There are many anecdotes about men's and women'slogic. And about women's talk mainly representatives of the stronger sex, and over men laugh more often girls. It is understandable. We are different. We think differently, we feel differently. Women are more sensitive, men are better at calculating moves (although in our time girls can give odds to any guy's prudence). And when tender feelings emerge between two opposites, people do not have questions. Love is unpredictable. What can not be said about the situation when a man and a woman are connected by friendship. This is where all kinds of gossip begin. Guys try to see in these relations hints of warmer feelings, and the female half of humanity is looking for an answer to the question of whether it is possible to be friends with a man. Not everyone believes that two opposite sex can find a common language with each other. Someone believes that friendship between a man and a woman is impossible, someone is more loyal in this matter and admits the possibility of such communication. In the end, everyone remains at their opinion, and the question - without an answer. Let's try to figure it out.
"Pros and cons"
So, can a man and a woman be friends? Here everything is individual. What does this mean? And the fact that there is no single answer for all to this question. Of course, if you approach the problem literally, then this answer will be affirmative, because indeed the cases of such friendship are known: someone saw them, and someone even experienced it all on himself. Accordingly, a man and a woman can be friends in theory. But you are probably interested in something else, namely - is friendship between a man and a woman possible in your case, or is "friend" really cherishing other intentions for you? And here, as it was already written above, everyone finds his answer. As a rule, this answer is based on a number of arguments that support and reject the existence of inter-sex friendship. What are these arguments? Arguments for":
- The ability to keep yourself toned Stillcommunication with a person of the opposite sex is a great opportunity to get a boost of energy and positive emotions. Even if it is only about friendship, he is a man, and you are a woman, and in any case there will be some "spark" in your communication. This is similar to the legalized flirtation (which we girls so love) without the threat of losing such a relationship. On the contrary, they can become an excellent source of strength and inspiration in life.
- Communication with a person who hasyour views, opinions and thinking. Agree, your head and the head of your male friend are arranged differently. The idea that seems interesting and entertaining will be boring and stupid for him, and vice versa. Thus, you can give each other very valuable advice and help to look at things from a completely opposite point of view.
- Exits "into the light" Friendship with a man gives you thisplan is an indisputable advantage: if you are invited to some event, where you need to or want to come with someone, but the guys on the horizon are not suitable, you can always ask a friend about escort (and he you too). This partnership is mutually beneficial - you have a good time, and, strangely enough, it increases the likelihood of getting to know someone else.
- Common interests in the absence of a romantic andsexual sympathy Friendship between a man and a woman is possible, if you have fun together, have something to talk about and what to do, but you absolutely do not see this man as his companion (and he is you too)? Quiet, because you can be friends with him in the same way as with any other person! And this friendship can be even more interesting and saturated than any other.
- Agree, friendship witha girl is always a bit of a competitive struggle. What if she's prettier? And why did that guy smile at her, not me? These and other issues are constantly tormented by our female heads at the moment of communication with friends. Of course, between two women are also possible for a faithful and honest relationship without envy and reproaches, but in friendship with a man they are provided to you!
- Help from a friend A man-friend will always be able to help youhelp in exclusively "masculine" issues, for example, fix the pipe in the bathroom, hang the shelf and clean the registry on the computer. And you, in turn, always help him "in a feminine way" - go shopping with him, select clothes and comment on the behavior of his new passion.
- Secret suffering This is the variant of the inter sexfriendship, when one wants to be friends, and the other likes, but does not see another option, how to continue communication. So it turns out that he is secretly suffering. Agree, in this case and speech can not go on a real friendship. Therefore, if you had the slightest suspicion that a male friend is "breathing unevenly", try to clarify this.
- Selfish considerations And maybe you like it,that he "breathes unevenly" to you? It happens that we purposely keep such "admirers" near ourselves - as if we leave it "in reserve", completely not letting go. The same can be done by a man. It's already in no way at all, because one suffers, and the other, most likely, has some problems with self-esteem. In any case, such a variant does not turn out to be a friendship.
- The negative reaction of your "halves"each person will agree that his partner has a friend of the opposite sex. Yes, it can and looks like self-doubt, but we all heard about those cases when such friendship grew into something more. So do not be surprised if your partner rolls a grand scandal and demands that you from sin farther cut your communication with such a friend. Of course, this situation can also be solved (for example, to explain that between two people there can be not only love and sex, but ordinary friendship), but this is a completely different story.
- The risk of breaking your relationship in a romantic way. In fact,it is this risk that causes distrust of the likelihood of friendship between a man and a woman. He is present almost always and, unfortunately, such a breakdown can nullify all your friendship.
When friendship flows into love
Now let's talk about another possibility of developing relations between a man and a woman - when a warm friendship grows into love and even marriage. In which cases is this possible?
- If you are teenagers, because youth is nottime of solid rational decisions and reason, but, conversely, a time of feelings and spontaneity. And what can be more spontaneous than a romantic relationship with a friend? Unfortunately, such relationships end as spontaneously as they began. So think twice before translating a friend into the status of a loved one.
- If you want to get married. Then it is very likely that after a while the desire to marry will be overpowered, and you will begin to perceive a friend as a potential groom. On the one hand, this is not the worst idea, because you learned quite well during a friendship. On the other hand - you need to think, but do you need marriage to your friend? After all, men are fairly straightforward, and if your friend wanted any more close relations, he would have told you about it long ago.
- If you are in an unhappy marriage orunhappy, serious relationships. In this case it is possible that a friend will become the strongest reason to stop all this tyagomotin (but in this case you can lose it if the romantic relationship does not justify itself). The likelihood of such an outcome increases if a woman in a marriage is subjected to violence and tells this to her friend. Few a man would not want to protect a girl from an inadequate spouse. Once he beat a woman, two, you see, and was imbued with more tender feelings.
Variations on the theme "why a man is friendly withwoman "can be a mass. About such as common interests and the desire to leave "in reserve", we already wrote above. Another reason for friendship may be the fact that one of you or even both already have "second halves", and you want to communicate - then friendship can become a real way out. And sometimes it happens so that you have initially had a friendly relationship that lasts for many years. And now you are looking at each other the way your sister looks at her brother, and vice versa. Your roles in this friendship can be completely different: a joint excellent pastime, support and mutual assistance, advice and the opportunity to be each other's kind of "vests".
How to be friends?
Of course, it is impossible to come up with a universal instruction how to be friends with a man. However, there are a few tips that can minimize the risks of negative consequences for your friendship:
- Remember that you both have the right topersonal life Therefore, it is not recommended to call the best friend at three o'clock in the morning with some crazy offers (except there may be cases when all your friendship is built on this, and you and he do not have permanent partners). If the man is not free, do not try to stand between him and his girlfriend. Moreover, women often disapprove of the friendship of their men with another woman. Therefore, do not call your friend on a mug of beer while his wife is waiting for him at home with a hot dinner. Better try to make friends with his second half. So you can spend time together and not make excuses to anyone.
- Watch for yourself and your behavior If there isat least some attraction to romance, any slightest hint on your part can be perceived as a signal to action, especially if a man is "always ready" for sexual adventures. Try not to excite in yourself or your friend romantic feelings, avoid words and situations that could cause such actions.
- By the way, intimate relationships "for friendship", tooforbidden Believe me, no one will sleep with his friend. Therefore, if a man invites you to have fun, you should think about whether he really treats you as he says, or a friendly relationship is just a cover for lower desires.
- Track your thoughts If you want to be friends withman, do not allow romantic plans and dreams to enter into his head. After all, as we know, our thoughts influence our behavior and are in the habit of coming true.
- Do not forget to support those sides,which may be of interest to your male friend. Does something distinguish you from other girls so much that he preferred friendship with you? So try and keep it and increase it.
- Do not demand too much from friendship. It happens thatwomen try to make the most out of friendship with a man. They ask a man to hammer a nail, carry things, pull ropes in the bathroom and clean the clogged pipes. Of course, mutual assistance is not bad, but only if it does not cross the limits of what is allowed. Ask a man a couple of times about help you can, but do not enter it into the system. Your friend does not ask you to wash his socks or make dinner? Take with him an example. Try to solve your problems yourself, and then friendship with a man can last for many years.
- Be honest with your friend. You both go aboutenough thin ice, and if it is weighed down with unnecessary tricks and fictions, then it will fail. Especially since the psychology of men differs significantly from the notorious female logic, and what in your understanding a simple wickedness in male eyes can look like a well-considered lie. Therefore try to be with your friend as sincere as possible.
- Do not take a bad head If you are friends withman and the relationship you are pleased, is it all the same, what is your sex friend? Have fun and do not try to look for problems where they do not exist.
So, what can you say aboutexistence of inter-sex friendship? Only one thing: it all depends on the person. Each case is individual, and what is impossible for one can be perceived by others as something natural. So it is with friendship between a man and a woman: if you perceive men solely as an object of romantic affection, then there can be no question of it, and if for you a man is first of all just a man, then you have all the chances of finding him the face of a good friend. In the end, the main thing is that a friend remains a friend, and on his floor you can always close your eyes. We advise you to read: