Have you ever noticed that completelydifferently communicate with people? At the same time, you can scream at your son for another bad mark and, distracted by the doorbell, calmly take the letter from the postman. Many even manage to smile to an outsider and chat about trifles, despite the fact that a storm is raging in my soul. And the whole point is that different types of communication involve different behavior of one and the same person. Moreover, we can describe the same subject in completely different ways, depending on who is in front of us. For example, a girl can loudly praise a blouse that the seller is imposing on her and immediately, after walking a couple of meters from the store, complain to her friend about the aggressive color of the clothes offered. Or another example: a woman is happy with her husband's gift on March 8, and in the evening she tells her mother by phone that her husband incorrectly chose the size of the dress. Did the husband understand that he lost with the gift? Of course. The look of his second half spoke more eloquently than words. So we gradually moved on to what the main types and types of communication are. Psychologists distinguish between verbal and non-verbal ways of exchanging information. In the first case, it is transmitted by words. In the second - facial expressions, gestures, gaze.

Verbal communication type

This is the most common way of communicating informationof people. The infant with the help of scream informs mom that he is hungry or it's time to change diapers. A young man asks for his girlfriend's hand, uttering memorized words. His behavior had long reported serious intentions, but the lack of recognition did not allow the beloved to say that she was a bride. With the help of words they take to work, they inform about increase of salary and see off in the last way. However, one and the same news can be said quite differently. Sad, fun, with a sense of importance, pride, contempt and even scream. And words will change their emotional color. For example, the phrase "how are you" can mean serious concern (if asked by the patient), and a mere formality (asking a friend on the street), and showing attention (when a young man asks a pretty employee). And if you add to this, and the appropriate intonation, then the interlocutor can get much more information than was laid in the sentence. The verbal type of communication is divided into three groups:

• The meaning of words. Here the main role is played by the correct formulation of the phrase, the competent use of words. All this depends on the environment, upbringing and mood of a person at the moment.
• Expressive voice quality. This term means crying, laughing, sighing, whispering and even silence. Agree that with this simple list of tools for verbal communication, you can get from the interlocutor a lot.
• Speech sound phenomena. This is the modulation of the height of the voice (sharp, smooth), the pace of speech, intonation, timbre and diction. In short, everything that we put on words for greater understanding of the meaning of others. For example, the phrase "Ivanov - the deceiver", uttered in a low voice, can not cause any attention. And if you shout the same words in a shout at the demonstration? We are sure that the effect will be more effective.

Levels of verbal communication

Undoubtedly, very important in communication is how you talk with a person, build a dialogue, call for response actions. Psychologists distinguish six levels of verbal communication:

Business style is respected in the working environmentbetween the boss and the subordinate, partners, colleagues. Here, in the course of communication, there is an evaluation of the business qualities of the interlocutor, and a businesslike, respectful conversation with the appeal to "you" is conducted.

Primitive style: people of low cultural development or simply drunk resort to it. For example, a man drunk can calmly talk to any passer-by, telling about his difficult fate, and be at the same time fairly familiar. He is not interested in the name or opinion of the interlocutor. The purpose of the conversation is simply to speak out. At the same time, the person himself is of no value to him (he does not care who is drunk anyway), and he could just as well talk to a shop in a park. Some traders and companions on the train sometimes adhere to the same style of communication. But to consider that primitive style of communication is used only by people of low cultural level, it would be wrong. Very often clever and educated people resort to such methods, which try to explain something to the interlocutor, being sure that a person will not be able to understand the essence of the problem. It is very important not to cross the line. Maybe your neighbor does not know Newton's third law, but what you consider him to be a fool will understand right away. Do not underestimate people and talk with them deliberately simple phrases. The conversation can be reduced to a joke, then nothing will be explained, and relations with the neighbor will not spoil.

Manipulative style. This level of communication is applicable to those people who need something from you (these can be sales managers or diplomats). During the conversation, the interlocutor tries to identify weaknesses in you and play on them in order to achieve the desired. Very often, the manipulative style is veiled with servility, flattery, excessive attention.

The game style is used when communicating with friends orbetween man and woman. For example, friends talk and joke at the same time. And the girl tries to flirt with the young man she likes (also a kind of game). Such types of communication are the most familiar of all.

Style of masks. This level of communication is inherent in almost every person. So we communicate with neighbors, old acquaintances, teachers of their children. Whatever our mood, we, if necessary, put on a mask of friendliness and say the list of on-duty phrases in order not to seem impolite. And for each interlocutor we have our own mask hidden. We go to the teacher as a serious mother. Familiar meet in the image of "life was a success." And for a neighbor through the wall, you can try on a mask of just indignation, if we are sure that it will come about the dishonesty of JEK or the next increase in payment for an apartment.

Spiritual style. Only people who are very close to each other communicate like this: a husband with a wife, a mother with a daughter, close relatives. In order to reach the spiritual level, people should know each other well enough and have confidence in their interlocutor. It happens that one person wants to enter the spiritual level of verbal communication, revealing to someone his secret. And in response he hears only laughter or indignation about what he did. That's why psychologists advise very carefully to choose interlocutors for frank conversations, especially since some people do not know how to keep their mouths shut, and your secret can become public.

Nonverbal communication type

This is the language of our body. All that can not (or do not want to) convey in words. Very often this communication is more eloquent. But not for everyone. Scientists have proved that women are more receptive to non-verbal communication. Simply put, they are better able to read people "between the lines." An example is the experience in which married couples participated. They were divided by sex and allowed to listen to several options for crying a child. The women immediately discerned where the baby cries of hunger, and where the wet diapers hinder him. While men could not determine the cause of discontent of children. Only the verbal contact of the child reached them. By the way, the non-verbal type of communication is very actively studied by science. You can name several areas that work on the recognition of the language of the human body:

• Takecika - studies the causes of touching during communication (hugs, kisses, touches, handshakes, repulsions).
• Kinetic - defines external manifestationshuman emotions and feelings. Gestika studies the movements of some parts of the body, facial expressions - the movement of the muscles of the face, pantomimics delves into the whole body motility: gait, posture, posture.
• Proxemics - studies the importance of distance of people in communication. How close a person is to the interlocutor in a conversation determines his attitude towards the latter.

In total there are four types of distance between people:

Intimate area. It is 15-45 centimeters. Only well-known, close people are allowed into it. This zone is characterized by tactile contact, confidence, quiet voice, touch. Science argues that the violation of the intimate zone of a person entails some physiological changes in the body: increased adrenaline release, increased heart beat, blood rush to the head, etc. If a person prematurely intrudes into the intimate zone, this is always perceived as an attempt at inviolability. It happens that in crowded transport people are too close to each other, which brings discomfort to some passengers. Psychologists advise in moments of traffic jams to turn away from fellow travelers who have invaded your intimate zone, do not look into your eyes and do not talk to them. So the trip will be much easier for you.

Personal or personal zone. It is 45-120 cm. Suitable for everyday conversation with colleagues and friends. It assumes only visual-eye contact between people who support the conversation.

Social zone. It is 120-400 cm. It is usually observed during official meetings in all kinds of office premises when communicating with those whom the person does not know very well.

Public area. It is more than 400 cm and implies communication with a large audience and a group of people. However, some people may be much closer to the speaker. However, one should not allow a large number of people to surround the person closely. Many are morally lost in the crowd.

The position of the interlocutors at the table

About what position a person takes at a table,one can judge his attitude to the case as a whole. This knowledge is widely used in the organization of negotiations, when you can simply transplant a person and slightly weaken his position. And now more specifically about the positions themselves: Angular disposition is the most favorable for communication between the teacher and the student, the leader with the subordinates. Both sides have the necessary space to exchange views. The table angle serves as a symbolic barrier, which protects against unjust attacks. The views of the interlocutors do not cross, which also brings psychological comfort. And when difficult questions arise in the discussion, a person can always concentrate on the formulation of the answer, looking at the fixed object. The interlocutors sit opposite each other. This is a competing and defensive position, which is used in disputes, sharp discussions, discussions. Its advantage lies in the fact that it allows you to see the opponent's face clearly, gestures that are made, which vary depending on the attitude of the interlocutor to the issue under discussion. In this case, the table serves as a so-called psychological defense. The interlocutors settled down at different corners of the table. This is an independent position, which indicates the unwillingness of a person to communicate. Is it worth saying that this has a negative effect on the whole process of communication? You can try to reverse the situation by replacing a person. But there is a risk that the interlocutor will not accept the changes and leave the premises before the negotiations begin. The interlocutors sit side by side. This is a position of directed cooperation. Here between people there are no barriers, and the communication itself is of a confidential nature. In this situation, the participants in the conversation can discuss almost all the topics and questions, as the interlocutors accept each other.

These eyes are opposite

It is also good to recognize emotions and intentionsa man in the eyes. This is best known to men who, when meeting, immediately appreciate the way the interlocutor looks at him. Moreover, the view can determine the social status, the presence and absence of problems and even the state of human health. For example, a student a week before the scholarship, a grandmother with a minimum pension and a single mother look at the world with about the same eyes. With sadness. While a successful businessman looks at others confidently, boldly. The same expression of the eyes can be found in a child who grows up in a complete family. He has no problems, and in the future the growing up person looks with optimism. More specifically, the interlocutor's view, depending on the situation, is:

• Secular. In this case, the gaze drops to the lip line or just below the eye level of the interlocutor. This device contributes to easy and informal communication and is used at receptions, meetings and parties.
• Business. Here the view is fixed at the level of the forehead of the interlocutor. It is assumed that this creates a serious atmosphere of business partnership;
• Intimate. A person does not look in the eyes of the interlocutor, on other parts of the body, located below the face (to the level of the chest). This speaks of people's interest in each other. An intimate view can be accompanied by an expansion of the pupils (in anticipation of pleasure).
• A sideways glance. Speaks of suspicious or critical attitude to the interlocutor.

Eyes, forehead, mouth, eyebrows, mouth, chin, nose -these parts of the face best express the main human emotions. Positive emotions (love, joy, surprise) can be defined faster and easier, negative emotions of a person (anger, sadness, contempt) are more difficult to perceive. The main burden in determining the true feelings of the interlocutor are lips and eyebrows.

Gestures

They give the most information in communication. You can take at the table the position that you were led to, to hide your gaze, to control the words, but gestures will still give out the true attitude of the interlocutor to this problem. Psychologists identified six groups of gestures:

Gestures-illustrators. These include: informing gestures (pointers when a person points at something with a finger), pictographs, (images of pictures that the interlocutor draws in the air, on the table), kinetographs (all kinds of body movements), gestures-"bits" (for psychological Ways from the interlocutor), ideographers (movements of hands by which a person connects imaginary objects together).

Gestures-regulators. This is a purposeful movement of the hands, nods, which express the person's attitude to anything.

Gestures-emblems. Imaginary substitutes for phrases or words in communication. For example, these can be hands clasped together, symbolizing friendship and cooperation (as with a handshake), slightly raised palms means in many cases a greeting, and the raised arms above the head are interpreted as a farewell.

Gestures-adapters. Pretty specific hand movements. This is the twitching of certain parts of the body with the interlocutor when communicating. Scratching, touching, stroking foreign objects, your body. Easy spanking of the partner, sorting out everything that is at hand (a button, a notepad, a pencil, etc.).

Gestures-affecters. This expression is the movements of the muscles of the face and body of certain emotions.

Microsities: Hardly noticeable changes in the interlocutor: increased number of blinks, sudden redness of cheeks, twitching of lips, etc.

Psychologists say - when a person wants toshow your emotions and feelings, then he certainly resorts to the help of gestures. Therefore, it is so important to learn the true meaning of certain gestures in order to determine the true intentions of the interlocutor. The peculiarity of gesticulations consists in the following: they strengthen the actions of weak excitements by demonstrating the body of the body and the movements of the hands; suppress strong emotions, limiting the movement of the body. False movements aimed at deceiving the interlocutor, first of all committed by the limbs, and only after that the muscles of the face are involved. You can identify the following types of gestures, which often occur during communication:

• Estimation Gestures. When a person pulls out his index finger along the cheek, scratches his chin, stands up and starts pacing around the room (assessing information), etc.
• Gestures of confidence. The interlocutor swings on a chair or connects fingers in a dome of a pyramid.
• Gestures of uncertainty and nervousness. The man pinches his hands, binds his fingers, taps the table with his fingers. It happens that the interlocutor expresses his uncertainty by the fact that before sitting down, he touches the back of the chair.
• Gestures of self-control. The hands of a man are shown demonstratively behind their backs, while one hand squeezes the other. This can also be the posture of the person sitting on the chair, clasping his hands in the armrest, and others.
• Gestures of waiting. A man slowly wipes his hands on the cloth or rubs his hands.
• Gestures of denial. The interlocutor folds his hands on his chest, tilts the body back, touches the tip of his nose to the tip of the nose, crosses his arms, etc.
• Gestures-location. Here in the course of communication a person constantly touches the interlocutor, putting his hands to his chest, etc.
• Gestures of domination. In this case, sharp, resolute strokes are made from the top downwards, etc.
• Gestures of insincerity. Your interlocutor lies, if during a conversation he covers his mouth with his hand or constantly touches his nose (this is a more veiled form of covering his mouth with his hand). It happens that a person does not lie so much as he doubts the veracity of his words.

Undoubtedly, it is very important what typesinterpersonal communication you use in conversation. However, it is much more important not to control the gestures and views of the interlocutor, and not to try to restrain unwanted emotions, but only to communicate with those people whom you love and trust. Then all the phrases will be aligned correctly, and the pose will talk about honesty and openness, and you do not groan yourself to catch the interlocutor for lies. Therefore, carefully choose friends and trust your relatives. We advise you to read:

Comments

comments