The ability to give compliments is very valuable.quality. Thanks to it, you can influence people, win the favor of the interlocutor and find friends. We are not talking about flattery, when a person is praised for non-existent merits, but about a compliment that reflects the real character traits or appearance of the person with whom you are communicating at the moment. Correctly done praise can even improve relationships that until now left much to be desired. This is the key to the heart of any person. How to learn to give compliments without slipping into flattery? How to correctly present an opinion about a person's merits to him so that he can accept praise from you? Let's figure it out. To begin with, let's define - what types of compliments there are. After all, each person requires his own approach. And if in one situation words can lead to a stunning effect, in another situation they simply may not work.

Direct compliments

These include open assessment of appearanceor clothes. In order to make such a compliment, it is necessary not only to praise the appearance of the interlocutor, but to do it as sincerely as possible. You should not tell the person that he is handsome. Rarely does anyone feel 100% satisfied with his appearance. It is better to emphasize a certain part of the face that seems attractive to you. Note a charming smile, graceful fingers, good hair. Before you learn to give compliments directly, you should study the person for whom they are intended. Since many people perceive this manner of communication as blatant flattery.

Hidden compliments

Here, a person's work in a team is assessed.For example, a group of scientists has completed a major project, and you emphasize to one of the participants the importance of the work done. Such a compliment is appropriate for communicating with a person you don’t know well and in cases where you need the professional help of the interlocutor: “Your team did such a great job! I’m sure the project would have been less successful without you. Would you mind sharing your secrets? I’m afraid I couldn’t do it without you.” On the one hand, you are making the person happy, on the other hand, you can count on expert advice and professional support.

Indirect compliments

They reflect your feelings and attitude towards your interlocutor.For example: "I am so pleased to talk to you!" or "I feel easy and relaxed in your company!" A very subtle and veiled form of praise. How to learn to give compliments indirectly? It's simple. Listen to your heart. What emotions does the interlocutor evoke in you? Talk about them. Just make sure in advance that the person is open to a heart-to-heart talk, otherwise all your compliments will look inappropriate.

Compliments without emotional coloring

Designed for communication with both acquaintances andand with strangers. Reflect your opinion about the interlocutor's possession. For example: "You have a wonderful car. How is it maintained?" or "Your dog is just lovely!" Some may argue that such compliments do not work. But show me a dog owner who would not consider his pet the best, or a motorist who is indifferent to his car? Any choice, whether it is a car or a dog, is considered successful by a person. Your task is to draw attention to this. Now let's figure out the technology. How to learn to give compliments easily and naturally?

Rule one. Compliment should be sincere. If you say that the interlocutor looks great, but do not believe in it, a person will feel your lies. At least he will consider you a flatterer, the maximum - think: what do you want from him?

Rule two. Make compliments unselfishly. Do not tell the teacher before the testament that she has a beautiful figure, only in order to get a higher score. He will not believe it. But if you have tried to make every little compliment to her every lecture, then the teacher will be very supportive towards you. And the point here is not that you bribe a person. With the help of a compliment, you can simply build a good relationship with a person. And if someone treats you well, then they will forgive small errors more willingly, right?

The third rule. Put a person higher than yourself. Example: "Wow, how did you get wonderful! I would never have been able to do this! "Many people are afraid of this form of compliments, believing that they look in this case impartially. However, this form of communication will help to easily locate an interlocutor. And the person, on the contrary, will consider you an intelligent and astute woman for what you have seen his potential.

Rule four. Do compliments to everyone without exception. It is not necessary to divide the circle of communication into worthy and unworthy your approving words. Praise the cleaning lady in the office and she will thoroughly clean the floors under your workplace. Praise the taxi driver, and your trip will be more pleasant and comfortable. Praise the saleswoman in the store, and she will certainly tell you which products are the freshest. Speak compliments just like that, and people will start smiling only when they see you.

The fifth rule. Do not compare people. The compliments in which you are trying to elevate one person at the expense of another are damaging. For example: "Your suit simply sits perfectly on the figure. It's not that our boss has expensive clothes, but sits somehow. " Sooner or later the boss (or any other person with whom the comparison is taking place) learns about your disparaging attitude, and, believe me, it will not lead to anything good. And the compliment itself will not have significant strength. Because the person you praise will think about yourself that you and him also compare with others and discuss behind his back.

Rule six. Do they scold you? And you praise. On how to learn to say compliments in a conflict situation, it would be worth writing a book. Then there would not be quarrels between people. In the first minute, this style of communication seems absurd. How come? Someone will scream at you, but you will only smile and talk about the color of the offender's eyes? Exactly. Does someone start a quarrel in the queue? Do not enter into a squabble, but peacefully say: "You are such a beautiful woman, and say unpleasant things. It does not suit you. "You will see how the interlocutor is embarrassed by such a remark, and the conflict will be exhausted.

Many women are concerned about the question of whatcompliments to give a man. Any! The stronger sex, as paradoxical as it may sound, is very susceptible to praise. He will believe both direct and indirect compliments. Therefore, the more often you emphasize the merits of your partner, the stronger your relationship will be, and the better he will treat you. Now that you have learned to give compliments, let's learn to accept them. Very often, a woman begins to justify herself in response to praise. "A beautiful dress? Oh, come on! It's a hundred years old. And there's a stain on the skirt that won't wash out, see?" Everyone automatically begins to note the outdated style and the barely noticeable stain on the hem. But it all started so well! Meanwhile, the ability to accept compliments is sometimes much more important than the ability to praise correctly. By making excuses, we often lead to the so-called "zeroing out" of relationships. A man who at first sincerely considered you beautiful and spoke about it quite sincerely, at your instigation begins to notice plump hips, unwashed hair, short legs. Therefore, when complimenting a person, be prepared for a backlash. And also: do not be afraid to praise. After all, compliments are not a weapon for achieving some goals, but an opportunity to make this life kinder and brighter. We recommend reading:

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