Ability to speak compliments is very valuablequality. Thanks to him you can influence people, win the disposition of the interlocutor and find friends. We are not talking about flattery, when a person is praised for non-existent virtues, but about a compliment that reflects the real features of the character or appearance of the one with whom you are communicating at the moment. Correctly made praise can even establish relationships that have so far left much to be desired. This is the key to the heart of any person. How can you learn to say compliments without slipping into flattery? How to properly present a person with an opinion about his dignity, so that he could take a praise from you? Let's figure it out. To begin with we will define - what there are kinds of compliments. After all, each person needs his own approach. And if in one situation words can lead to an overwhelming effect, in another situation they may simply not work.

Direct compliments

These include open assessment of appearanceor clothes. In order to make such a compliment, it is necessary not just to praise the appearance of the interlocutor, but to do it as sincerely as possible. Do not tell a person that he is handsome. Rarely one hundred percent satisfied with his appearance. It is better to emphasize some specific part of the face that seems attractive to you. Mark a charming smile, graceful fingers, good hair. Before you learn to say compliments in a direct form, you should study well the person for whom they are intended. Since so many people perceive this manner of communication as undisguised flattery.

Hidden compliments

Here, the work of a person in a team is assessed. For example, a group of scientists passed a major project, and you emphasize one of the participants the degree of importance of the work done. Such a compliment is suitable for communicating with an unfamiliar person and in those cases when you need professional help from the interlocutor: "Your team is so cool with the task! I am sure that without you the project would be less successful. Do not share your secrets? I'm afraid that I can not cope without you. "On the one hand, you make a person pleasant, on the other - you can rely on expert advice and professional support.

Indirect compliments

Reflect your feelings and attitude to the interlocutor. For example: "I am so pleased to communicate with you!" Or "In your company, I feel at ease and at ease!" A very subtle and veiled look of praise. How to learn to say compliments in indirect form? It's simple. Listen to your heart. What kind of emotion does your interlocutor cause? About them and talk. Just make sure beforehand that a person is open to a sincere conversation, otherwise all your compliments will look inappropriate.

Compliments without emotional coloring

Designed to communicate with both friends andwith strangers. Reflect your opinion on the subject of possession of the interlocutor. For example: "You have a wonderful car. How is she in service? "Or" Your dog is just lovely! "Some may argue that such compliments do not work. But show the doggirl who would not consider his pet the best, or a motorist, indifferent to his car? Any choice, whether it's a car or a dog, is considered a good one. Your task is to draw attention to this. Now let's understand the technology. How to learn to say compliments easily and at ease?

Rule one. Compliment should be sincere. If you say that the interlocutor looks great, but do not believe in it, a person will feel your lies. At least he will consider you a flatterer, the maximum - think: what do you want from him?

Rule two. Make compliments unselfishly. Do not tell the teacher before the testament that she has a beautiful figure, only in order to get a higher score. He will not believe it. But if you have tried to make every little compliment to her every lecture, then the teacher will be very supportive towards you. And the point here is not that you bribe a person. With the help of a compliment, you can simply build a good relationship with a person. And if someone treats you well, then they will forgive small errors more willingly, right?

The third rule. Put a person higher than yourself. Example: "Wow, how did you get wonderful! I would never have been able to do this! "Many people are afraid of this form of compliments, believing that they look in this case impartially. However, this form of communication will help to easily locate an interlocutor. And the person, on the contrary, will consider you an intelligent and astute woman for what you have seen his potential.

Rule four. Do compliments to everyone without exception. It is not necessary to divide the circle of communication into worthy and unworthy your approving words. Praise the cleaning lady in the office and she will thoroughly clean the floors under your workplace. Praise the taxi driver, and your trip will be more pleasant and comfortable. Praise the saleswoman in the store, and she will certainly tell you which products are the freshest. Speak compliments just like that, and people will start smiling only when they see you.

The fifth rule. Do not compare people. The compliments in which you are trying to elevate one person at the expense of another are damaging. For example: "Your suit simply sits perfectly on the figure. It's not that our boss has expensive clothes, but sits somehow. " Sooner or later the boss (or any other person with whom the comparison is taking place) learns about your disparaging attitude, and, believe me, it will not lead to anything good. And the compliment itself will not have significant strength. Because the person you praise will think about yourself that you and him also compare with others and discuss behind his back.

Rule six. Do they scold you? And you praise. On how to learn to say compliments in a conflict situation, it would be worth writing a book. Then there would not be quarrels between people. In the first minute, this style of communication seems absurd. How come? Someone will scream at you, but you will only smile and talk about the color of the offender's eyes? Exactly. Does someone start a quarrel in the queue? Do not enter into a squabble, but peacefully say: "You are such a beautiful woman, and say unpleasant things. It does not suit you. "You will see how the interlocutor is embarrassed by such a remark, and the conflict will be exhausted.

Many women are worried about the question, what complimentstalk to the man. Any! Strong floor, no matter how paradoxically it sounded, very pompous to the praise. He will believe both direct compliments and indirect. Therefore, the more often you emphasize the dignity of your partner, the stronger will be your relationship, and the better he will treat you. Now that you've learned how to compliment, let's learn how to accept them. Very often a woman begins to justify herself in response to praise. "Nice dress? Yes you! He is a hundred years old at lunch. Yes, and on the skirt, the speck does not wash out, see? "All automatically begin to mark the obsolete style and a barely noticeable spot on the hem. But everything started so well! Meanwhile, the ability to accept compliments is sometimes more important than the ability to properly praise. Justifying ourselves, we often lead to the so-called "zeroing" of relations. A man who at first sincerely thought you beautiful and quite sincerely talked about it, from your feed begins to notice the stout hips, unwashed hair, short legs. Therefore, when making a person compliments, be ready for a backlash. And yet: do not be afraid to praise. After all, compliments - this is not a weapon to achieve some goals, and the opportunity to make this life kinder and brighter. We advise you to read:

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