Single fatherhood is a phenomenon of the pastunusual. And these days it is not so rare. Lately, the concepts of purely male and exclusively female responsibilities have somehow become mixed up. Nowadays, many ladies are keen on their professional careers or arranging their personal lives. And they do not at all believe that raising children is the main goal of their lives. They can calmly entrust them to their father and go home, not particularly bothering with the problems of their former family. It must be said that men with children have more chances to arrange their personal lives well than women in the same situation. What can you do, that's just the way the world works. Representatives of the stronger sex are in greater demand than we are. Some women even consciously seek out acquaintances with single fathers, believing that they are more reliable than other men. This makes sense. Not every person can independently bear responsibility for their children. However, a relationship with such a father has its own nuances, which are better to know in advance.
Difference of single fathers from other men
What are single fathers like?As different as single mothers. Some of them are widowed, some took the children from their inattentive wives, and some decided to raise them on their own to avoid paying child support. In any case, not every man is ready to take on the daily care of a child and the constant feeling of full responsibility for him. It turns out that a single father is a special person in some way, more reserved, understanding, tolerant and purposeful. It would seem that there are a lot of advantages to a relationship with such a man. He will not start hanging out God knows where after work, will try to provide for his family as best as possible and will certainly not decide to cheat. At the same time, there is a rather serious minus in a union with such a man - the child will most likely be more important to him than his wife. Therefore, she will have to adapt, changing her habits and aspirations. In general, the opinion that any single father dreams of finding a mother for his child first and foremost is not entirely true. Some do not look for one at all, believing that they can handle it themselves. And some dream of a loved one who will share both their troubles and joys with them. Women who intend to connect their lives with a man raising children often make the same mistake. Trying to win a man's heart, they try their best to pretend to be a caring mother. Trying to immediately find an approach to the child is commendable, but inappropriate. Not only does this not always work and often looks insincere. Such actions can irritate a man both by their inconsistency with his rules of upbringing and by the lack of attention to him. It is possible that a man is looking first of all for a girlfriend who loves him. Well, and then a good mother for his children. So what should a woman do who is counting on an alliance with a single father?
How to find an approach to a man with a child
If our chosen one is a single father, the relationship with him should be built according to certain rules.
- Rule one. Before you win the child's affection, you need to establish a warm and trusting contact with his father. This will help to find out what role he defines a woman in his life;
- Rule two. In communicating with the child, do not force events and not impose their care on him. It is necessary to behave as naturally as possible and not to do something that does not correspond to personal nature. This can alienate both the child and his father;
- The third rule. Correct your behavior in accordance with the manner of education, developed by a man. It is not necessary to stand in a pose, imposing to it the principles of education. The father is with the child almost from his birth. His punishment and encouragement are familiar and perceived as a norm. And the actions of an extraneous woman, even if they are well-intentioned, can be taken with hostility;
- Rule four. Do not compete with the child, seeking to win his attention and the love of his father. Unfortunately, this happens quite often. A woman is secretly jealous of her man to his child and tries with all his might to take hold of the heart of the chosen one. Such actions create a tense atmosphere in the relationship and the consequences of their prediction are difficult;
- The fifth rule. Do not interfere aggressively in the relationship of the pope with his child. This can be perceived as a threat from a woman;
- Rule six. Patiently and calmly, if a man wants to spend time alone with his child;
- The seventh rule. Do not require the child to love and confess. Let this happen by itself. And if it does not happen, do not be offended and do not stay away from the man;
- Rule eighth. Do not explicitly show your love for a man in the presence of a child. This can cause jealousy in him.
Of course, there are children who are ready to accept their motherany woman who appears in their home. As long as she is not too harsh and cruel. Usually this concerns those who do not remember their own mother and suffer greatly from her absence. Pity and condescension of adults and some arrogance of peers who have a mother make the child doubt his own worth. So he dreams that one day a woman will come to the family. It does not matter what she will be like. The main thing is that this will eliminate doubts and feel equal to other children. However, children of this kind are few. Most children who are raised by a single father are against him connecting his life with some representative of the weaker sex. The reason for such an attitude may be children's egoism, fear of losing dad's love, unwillingness to share him with someone else, fear of the destruction of their little world. A big role is also played by the fact that children growing up on fairy tales and stories about evil stepmothers are simply afraid of the presence of such an "evil witch" nearby. In a word, a relationship with a single father is often a bit like walking through a minefield. A woman will have to analyze every step and every action, at least at first. There is no escape from this, because she will be closely watched by inquisitive children's eyes. And if, in the child's opinion, something is wrong, a strong union with his father may be in great question. Of course, this does not mean that it is almost impossible to create a good family in this case. A single father is also a man, it's just that communication with him has its own specifics. For example, a child may remember his own mother well and even meet her. He will certainly compare his aunt, who is present in the house, with his mother. It is not easy to endure. But, with the right approach to the situation, it is possible. Children grow up, and their views on life change. Over time, they will learn to calmly perceive their dual position, and everything will fall into place. In general, a union with a single father is good for women who are not planning to give birth. But those who already have children or intend to have them may well decide on this type of relationship. Perhaps it will be the best option for finding happiness.
