Mistress of a married man: how to keep him near him

Why many of us, from early childhooddreaming of a lavish wedding and endless family happiness, eventually become permanent mistresses of married men? Strangely enough, but for a fairly large part of the fairer sex, such a fate seems to be predetermined by fate itself. Of course, they are not to blame for the fact that by the time of the meeting the beloved man was already married. Sometimes the potential mistress does not know about this, and sometimes they know, but, completely captivated by their feelings, attach little importance to the fact of marriage. And without resistance take the status of "mistress of a married man," throwing into love, as in a whirlpool. They decide to live this day, and then - whatever happens! And there are all kinds. After all, a man is married, which means he is not free, and he usually tries to build a relationship with his mistress, not to the detriment of his family. This can not withstand every woman. So how to behave, if suddenly (or not suddenly) has managed to become the mistress of a married man?

What does it mean to be the mistress of a married man

Why does a woman become a mistress? After all, the trap of the novel with the married man is very insidious. After a romantic, completely sweeping aside any sober reasoning of the period of relations, a bitter insight comes: "I have nothing to dream about, because he has another." And a burning, unbearably painful jealousy wakes up. Otherwise it can not be. Yes, usually married men tell their mistresses that both his physical and spiritual connection has been lost with his wife for a long time. But except that a completely naive lady will believe that there is no intimate relationship between a loved one and his wife. And his legitimate faithful has much more rights to these intimate relations. And yet - there are holidays that a married man spends with his family. There are calls from the wife during your meetings and his slightly guilty and rather affectionate in return: "Yes, dear, I will soon be!". There is a nervous glance at the clock at the most inopportune moment and there is much, much more ... It all screams from all sides: "It's not yours! You - just a constant lover, but not a wife! ". This fact becomes painful, and rare meetings no longer bring the satisfaction that was at the beginning of the acquaintance. Somewhere inside, at first it gently ripens, and then it grows to a gigantic size that sweeps away all thoughts: "Will it divorce or not? Does he really love or just play with me? " It would seem that one should not be a genius in the forehead in order to foresee such a development of events, risking becoming a real mistress of the unfree man. We will not talk about temporary, for one night, girlfriends of such men, such relations of suffering, if they do, in exceptional cases. And how promising are not considered at all. So why should a woman so complicate her life, consoling herself with illusory dreams and often realizing at the same time that all her hopes are nothing more than illusions? And that the mistress of a married man can hardly be sure of a happy future with him? Are the married men from the family going to the mistresses? Happens. But quite rare. And it's not that they do not feel any feelings for women on the side. It happens that they experience, and even very strong. But even the extremely strong men in love with such a woman are weak, if the issue of divorce with his wife gets very acute. For many men, cardinal changes in life are tantamount to a natural disaster. And they do not aspire to arrange it with their own hands. Therefore, in order that they had an idea, whether to marry a mistress, should first appear the idea of divorce. In other words, a married man should be ready for divorce before meeting another woman. Otherwise, the question of "whether to go to his mistress?" Will arise before him not at once, and perhaps never arise. So why do women so casually throw themselves into the arms of a married man, if in the depths of their soul they understand that the novel will be difficult, and often also hopeless? The reasons are different.

Types of lovers married man

In general, there are several types of mistresses:

Mistress-masochist This is a woman whothe victim's position is appealing. In a relationship with a married man she understands everything, takes everything and agrees on everything. The masochist with sympathy, tenderness and love listens to man's effusions about how unhappy he is in the family, perceiving him as a noble and strong person. This is the ideal mistress of a married man who sincerely believes that the lover does not divorce his wife and suffers "this dumbness", because he feels obligated to the children (parents, a sick wife, etc.). She is convinced that "you can not build your happiness on someone else's misfortune" and is not going to destroy someone else's family. With a man like that, she likes to play nobility, and from time to time she leaves her, so that she finally arranges her personal life. Being an ideal lover, a devoted masochist during such periods is very afflicted, but does not even think about trying to create her own family. And when the beloved returns, she again takes it, shining with happy eyes. These are very convenient types of lovers, relationships with which men can last for many years.

Hysterical mistress This woman likes sharpFeel. Usually hysterical people are bright, confident, independent ladies who can easily arrange a personal life. If they want. But they do not want to. They are adventurous and do not think their lives without risky situations, and therefore they choose the object of passion of married men, and those who are capable of constantly creating these risky situations. Psychology of a lover of this kind is based on a high level of aggression, and she keeps her chosen one in suspense all the time, then flirting with someone before his eyes, then disappearing for a few days, then calling his wife ... The fantasy of a hysterical mistress has no boundaries, and she can throw anything out. A novel with a similar lady is not for every man on the shoulder. Relations develop rapidly and rapidly, without delays and equivocation. Maneuvers a lady with the psychology of a hysterical lover is not capable of - she needs a victory at any cost, and she goes to her goal on her head. Rooms with a sense of duty and responsibilities to children here do not pass. And keep to the ladies from her away, and run away, headlong, but do not go! Attacks of aggression from the hysterical mistress are replaced by bouts of incredible tenderness, and such a stick and carrot keeps a man cleaner than any waterfall of continuous caresses. But, since he stepped on the minefield, it means he needed a powerful surge of adrenaline. And to such a woman the wife will pull until he is exhausted. When such a moment comes, nobody knows. The most paradoxical in the behavior of mistresses-hysterics - if a married man suddenly sets out to set up a family, they immediately tear up all kinds of contacts with him. Because the object becomes uninteresting.

Mistress-eternal bride This is a woman who hasexquisite in nature, not capable of pragmatically perceiving the world around him. She is looking only for the prince, and discovers all his features in a strong, bold, but, alas, married man who is playing the role of the one who needs an eternal bride. However, quite often he does not play this role at all. Just in a relationship with a mistress of this kind, any man involuntarily becomes indulgent. Otherwise it can not be. After all, she is so trusting and naive and so reverent before him that he always feels with her otherwise than as a noble knight! The eternal bride, looking at him, feels a serious rapture: here he is, her prince! And at the same time he does not think at all about the fact that he has a family. And, by and large, she does not care, because next to her is such a reliable, experienced and exalted man! In reality, the situation in relations of this kind is somewhat different. The mistress-eternal bride is looking for someone who would take responsibility for her future. She can not and does not want to make any decisions on her own, therefore, as a protective wall and support, she is also quite satisfied with the married knight. The main life rules of the mistress-eternal bride are the aspirations to prevent the destructive reality in their fragile inner world. She almost sincerely believes that once a loved one is around, it means that ahead of them - only a bright future. About his wife, children, the "eternal bride" prefers not to think. And if once this fact causes her to change her behavior and thoughts, the young lady is amazed, frightened, and often begins to behave like a complete hysterical woman. She showered the man with reproaches, calls his wife, complains about her cunning surrounding, sobs and calls out for sympathy.

Mistress-mother This woman is a real lover,next to which the man rests and soul and body. Wounded from the solution of endless everyday problems and tired of the demands of his wife, he finds peace in the house of his mistress-mother. No one climbs into his soul, no one forces him to make money, take out rubbish, nail a nail ... Enveloped with care and affection, he seems to dissolve in the embrace of his mistress, feeling completely safe. The rules of the mistress mother are based on the principle of "do no harm". She will not ask questions about divorce, will not ask about where he has been so long, will not call his wife and will not reproach him in anything. Nutritious and tasty feed, laid, will give unforgettable sex ... It would seem, a complete idyll, divorce the same, have sown here forever! After all, at home - a grumpy wife in a washed dressing gown, serving on the table shop dumplings, and requiring regular attention to children. So no, no! He returns to his wife and children, in order to tear his nerves to order, and then again comes here to come to himself. Why?! Yes, everything is very simple. Men in fact understand that all this quiet comfort can turn out to be a carefully constructed trap. And, get them finally into the clingy paws of your mother's mistress, who knows what then will her care and attention turn into ... Perhaps, the new family life will be much worse than the previous one. So why risk and divorce, if not so bad?

These are the most common types of women whowithout special moral pain, they are connected with married men. There are still unsatisfied family life women, women who need only sex, women who are hungry for money and stuff ... But we are not talking about them now. We are talking about those who, one way or another, pushing romance with the bridegroom are nothing more than a desire for love. All of them in the depths of their hearts cherish the hope to become the wife of their chosen one, and very often this desire does not come true. The psychological background of such links, as a rule, is different. Such a complex object of lust is chosen by a woman, because she subconsciously seeks to overcome obstacles. Overcoming is accompanied by internal tension, tension is removed by meeting with the beloved and appears in separation from them, then again removed, re-injected and so on. And often in this case the main role is played not even by the relation of a man to a mistress, but by the fact of the prohibition of this relationship. However, there are among the mistresses and women who have managed to seriously love a married man and really count on the fact that one day he will completely belong to her alone. In the event that she belongs to the category of masochistic mistresses, dreams can come true only if the legal wife herself leaves her husband. Mistresses-hysterics for a successful outcome of relations can not count. What kind of a man in his right mind will agree that his life will turn into a living hell? Even if he divorces, then he will try to find a quiet harbor, and not rush, headlong into the stormy sea! Are they married to mistresses, eternal brides? Only if love for a man is one of life's priorities. What, I must admit, is rare. But the mistress mother has good chances to become a legitimate wife if she can prove that her devotion and care are sincere. The conclusion: in order to romance with a married man ended in a marriage, you need to make a lot of effort. Which ones? Here are some time-tested tips for mistresses.

Tips for mistresses of married men

How to behave with a married man to minimize suffering and increase the likelihood of marriage with him?

If we try to unite our devotionand the undemanding mistress-masochist, the emotionality of a hysterical mistress, the naive romanticism of a mistress-eternal bride and the reliability of her mother's mistress, the chances of a marriage with a married man will increase. This cocktail has a truly enchanting effect.

If we do not try to replace a man with his wife, hisinterest will grow and, in the end, can turn into a very strong feeling. This means that we do not erase it, we do not cook it or clean it up. A man comes to the mistress's house to rest from everyday problems. And to meet him must be a beautiful loving woman, able to give moments of happiness.

If we do not start hysterics, whenbeloved suddenly noted the meeting because it was necessary to urgently solve some family issues - we knew what was going on. Therefore, the shutter speed, shutter speed and again the shutter speed! She will be an excellent assistant in the construction of a foundation on which a serious relationship is based.

If we do not allow nagging in the event thatringed buddy can not come to the anniversary, birthday, some kind of celebration or hang around next weekend. If he spends all weekends and holidays with his family - this is normal. The fact that the family (so far) has much more rights for a loved one is an indisputable fact, and it is necessary to reconcile with it.

If we do not get used to a man, considering himthe only one in his life. He will go to his wife. And if we admit the thought that this man is a fate, and cultivate it, as a result of habit will make the parting very hard and a burden to the separation pangs of jealousy. Do not forget about yourself, suffering alone, when you do not have a loved one. We find an interesting exercise, meet with friends and girlfriends, have fun in some companies, and in any case, do not torment phone nazvanivaya him without cause.

All these advice to the mistresses, of course, do not giveguarantee that the man divorced. But, in any case, he will not be scared away by the excessive obsession, hysteria and exactitude of a woman, whose meetings should be a holiday. The very same basic advice to single women - do not fall in love with married men! It is possible that they sincerely love their spouses, only the senses are dulled with time and no longer feel the same heat. Often, a married man does not realize this. But then, when the divorce becomes real, he suddenly feels an intolerable heartache, understands that the wife is more expensive, and chooses it. A mistress, tormented by despair and anguish, again remains completely alone. Whatever the case, the fate of a mistress is an unenviable fate. Even if as a result she turned into a wife, the past men can not escape from the past. It happens, of course, that it remains a past and is forgotten in the course of time. However, this happens rarely. Usually, communication with the former family does not stop, especially if there are children left in it. The woman who caused the divorce, you must be ready for the fact that the beloved will spend time with them, call up, help. And to the fact that the former spouse will not leave him alone. She will ask for help, take an interest in the affairs of her ex-husband, sarcastically about his new family and so on. And if even the lady is unprincipled, she will begin to pour dirt on all corners. I must say that she will have many sympathy. And you have to be patient, wise, understanding. Will there be enough strength for this? So maybe it's better to find someone who is free, and to create with him a world of his own, without outside interference? After all, whatever the statistics, worthy of bachelors around enough. You just need to look at them and open your heart. Then everything will happen by itself. If you leave out of your head the thought that it is impossible to find your man now (they say, all normal ones are busy and in general they are a rarity), he certainly will. Let and with some flaws, but a good husband needs to be sculpted. He does not fall from the sky. After all, the family lover was different before his marriage. It is likely that if the spouse had not tried, we would not have paid attention to him, who knows ... Yes, the heart chooses itself. If you let him. And if you impose a taboo on family men, the heart will obey. And only those who are destined to us will be drawn. We advise you to read: