Can money spoil relations? Of course, they can. Moreover, many families broke up only because the couple had different views on the financial side of life. Someone's wife turned out to be a spender. Someone caught a lazy husband. Some spouses insist on a separate budget, and their second half feels insulted. This attitude toward money seems unacceptable to her. How is this - two purses in the house? So he does not trust me? Then what kind of love can we talk about? Next is a scandal, a loud slamming of the door and another stamp in the passport. This time testifying that they are no longer husband and wife. Is it sad? But the conflict began with money. Although the roots of the problem go not to the beginning of married life, when a joint budget is planned, but in a distant childhood. It is there that the attitude towards the money of a small person is laid. For example, the father of the boy spent his whole life giving his wife a salary to a penny. This means that the future young man is almost guaranteed to copy his model of behavior. Why? Yes, because he grew up with it. This distribution of roles seems to him the most natural. So he takes the parental relationship to his family. Now imagine that the boy's father always hid money from his relatives? Would a man want, when he grows up, to give all his money to his wife? Well, if so. But most often these children become copies of their fathers and torment their own greed and selfishness the next generation. And their children - the next. However, let's not slander strangers. Let's better understand which models of financial relations are in different families and what are their advantages and disadvantages.
Here everyone spends money on themselves. And if both spouses support this attitude to money and the budget in particular, then nothing is terrible in this. Quite the contrary. A woman does not need to ask again for money for cosmetics and report where she spent an extra hundred. Yes, and a man can easily take money to a friend without long preliminary stories on "what happened to him and why a man needed such a sum." And if a separate budget is an idea of one of the spouses (usually the one who earns more)? The second person in this relationship will feel uncomfortable. What to do? Many women in response to a request to share wallets are starting to do stupid things. Namely - to shout and swear. Or impose their opinion to the partner: - My father always gave all the salary of his mother, which means you must! Feel? The key word in this phrase is "must". It is with her that the most serious conflicts begin. Since a man who until now only languidly dismissed his wife, begins to desperately prove that he just does not have to do anything. And the man is right. The decision on a joint or separate budget is entirely voluntary. There is no article in the Constitution that would dictate what people's attitude to money should be in a marriage. The only thing a wife can ask in this situation is to reach a compromise. You can not make a person live by his own rules. You can come up with new ones that would suit both sides. For example, a spouse would receive a certain amount for expenses, and the remaining amount would remain with her husband. And everyone is happy.
Here, each of the partners contributes to the overall budgeta certain amount, and the balance is spent at its own discretion. This attitude to money is very convenient for those spouses who earn approximately the same. But if someone gets less, then the mixed budget will seem unfair to him. After all, a partner can spend much more on himself. And it's good if the spouse or husband gives gifts to the second half. And if not? If all the money goes only to pay for personal needs? Then scandals and attempts to increase the amount that the partner puts in the general budget begin. Similar problems can arise in the event of the dismissal of one of the spouses. We are not talking about families in which two support each other in joy and sorrow. We want to talk about marriages in which there is no emotional closeness of partners. In which the family, albeit unconsciously, is based on calculation. Here, any change in position can lead to divorce. For example, a woman married a man for money, and he unexpectedly burned out. Will she live with him? Hardly. The budget has decreased? The attachment also disappeared.
The most popular model of monetary relations infamily, where each of the spouses puts all the earned money into a common cash register. It seems that everything is fair and no difficulties should arise. But there are also pitfalls here. The largest of the stones is called a stash. It is believed that the habit of hiding money exists mainly for men. Although it seems to us that women are simply hiding money better, that's not coming across. In any case, the partner who has found the nest of a loved one, feels at least deceived. He puts everything in the cash register to a penny. Further thoughts develop with the speed of a hurricane. Why would he need extra money? What was he going to buy without my knowledge? And if I bought it, then where are I doing? If I do not speak, then the purchase is clearly not for the family. All clear. He had a mistress. Here it is - the notorious female logic. In men, by the way, the development of thoughts is also unpredictable, but they often hide their feelings and suspicions. And time shows that the nest of the wife was to buy for him a new spinning. The second pitfall in the joint budget is the lack of money. Almost every person encountered this phenomenon. But not everyone experiences the same lack of money. Some wives begin to nag their second half for failing to provide it. The favorite trump card for such women is the comparison: "But Lylya gave her Kolya a jeep, and you can not buy me boots!" And how will the spouse feel after that? At least dislikes Kolya (why is he buying expensive cars in the crisis). And my wife will not be treated better either. Therefore, dear women, if you envy Luce, then do it in silence. And then you will not have a jeep, not even a boot.
If the player in the house
But what are we on the women vzapochilis? Men, too, bring a lot of problems and financial losses. For example, what should you do if your spouse plays machine guns? About the alcoholics our grandmother told us about the goleon heard, but the players always existed as a separate group, about which very few people knew. And even fewer people could fight them. At first glance, it seems that players do not appreciate money at all, so they easily and carelessly lower large bills. However, this is not at all the case. Such people, on the contrary, are in love with banknotes, as if in a lovely girl. They are so eager to get rich that they spend the last penny. And the family suffers at the same time. After daddy's nocturnal festivities, the children have nothing to buy milk, and the wife goes to work on foot, because the tram is not carried free of charge. Nothing good, right? There is nothing to advise, as the players are officially ranked as dependent people. Now they stand on one step with alcoholics and drug addicts. But his wife is not that much easier! In the 21st century, the fight with the players became somewhat easier. In order for the husband not to lower the whole salary on automatic machines, you just need to take his salary card from him. Then you yourself will control all income and expenses. Just try not to keep a lot of cash in the house. The husband may well break off at the sight of colored paper and go back to play.
The husband does not want to work
Women are no better off than their husbandscategorically do not want to work. At the same time, all the excuses are different. The result is one. The wife pulls on herself the whole family, and the husband is even more comfortable arranged on the couch. However, now loafers moved to the computer, but it does not change the essence of the matter. Well, if the husband is unpretentious and does not require good clothes and high-calorie dishes (yes, and it happens!). But it happens that the husband begins to demand absolute equality with other family members. Did they give the child an orange? Means and to it or him vitamins are put. And why is it on the plate for a son for one piece of meat more? He's still small, he will not eat that much. And the lazy person does not think about how much money these products were bought for. In any case, the financial situation of this family is always somewhat worse than in the home where both partners work. How to overcome this situation and drive her husband to work? One of the solutions to the problem is to create an artificial money crisis in the house. Tell me that you have been cut back on wages, stop buying the same amount of food and cry that there is no money. If a husband has a conscience, then soon he will have a job. Does not help? Put the question squarely: "or a sofa, or I."
We have not forgotten about the beloved disease of modernwomen and men - shopaholism. Let's figure out what the attitude to the money of frantic spender says. Such people, unlike players, very easily treat money bills. For them, this means of achieving the desired goal. And everything would be fine, but only the goals are new every day, and the wallet is only one. What can you do if you feel an inordinate thirst for shopping? Leave money at home. If you begin to take with you exactly the same amount of money as you need to buy products, you will definitely spend less. In addition, try to make a list of necessary purchases in advance. Does not help? Send to the store of her husband, so you will definitely be able to resist the temptation to buy something extra. But before treating schopogolism, find out the nature of its appearance. It happens that irrepressible thirst for updates appears at a time when a woman is in love. Or vice versa. The girl is trying to raise a spoiled mood with a beautiful dress. This shopogolizm short-term and not dangerous at all. Finally I want to note: whatever problems happened to you, the main thing is that it's not money, but normal human relations. If the husband lost his job, support him instead of reproaching him. The girlfriend has borrowed money and does not give? And what is more important to you? One hundred rubles or friendship? Know how to distinguish real problems from those that we ourselves create. Do not measure your life with money, but measure with your heart! We advise you to read: