Every person has had to ask for help at some point.someone's forgiveness. An apology is an expression of guilt and remorse for something that was done or said wrong. It is a request for someone to stop being angry with you. And yet, sometimes it is very difficult to swallow your pride and say: "Darling, I am so sorry!" If you find it difficult to find the right words to apologize gracefully and with dignity to your loved one, read this article. It will tell you how to do it best. So, let's learn how to apologize the right way.
We find the cause of the problem
You won't be able to apologize to the guy.sincerely, if you do not really understand what you are asking for forgiveness for. If you do not think that you did anything wrong, but at the same time you begin to apologize, then your words will sound completely unconvincing. Try to think it over, weigh it up, put yourself in his place. Perhaps the reason is not in you. And is it worth making concessions then? After all, if you take the blame on yourself once, then in the future you will be the scapegoat.
Apologize - does not mean excusing
An apology with justifications is no longerapology. Take full responsibility for your mistake. Admit that you were wrong, and do it decisively and without reservations. By justifying yourself, you are trying to remove some of the blame from yourself. And an incomplete apology is often even worse than if you had kept silent at all. Imagine that, for example, you were jealous of your boyfriend. So, you had a fight, but there was no reason for such violent feelings, since he loves only you. You need to ask for forgiveness. Agree, if you start reproaching the young man for the fact that part of the blame is on him, another scandal will break out. Do you need that?
Choose the right moment
Many representatives of the fair sexwondering when and how to apologize to a guy before it's too late. Sometimes it's better to do it right after your mistake, but sometimes it's better to wait. On the one hand, your harshness can be softened by a quick "sorry" and a passionate kiss. But it also happens that the offended person needs some time to cool down before he can listen to your apology. However, the sooner you can apologize to the guy for your misdeeds, the more likely they will be seen as errors in judgment, and not as flaws in your character. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to mend the relationship with the words "well, that's just me, but still forgive me for being so bad." Let's say that if you are to blame, it's better not to wait more than two days. Otherwise, the guy simply may not want to even talk to you. If the problem is mutual, then you can try to talk the next day. But even if you are white and fluffy, and he is evil and nasty, try to make peace.
Learn to speak correctly
How to apologize to a guy so that he immediatelyforgiven? You need to do it beautifully and correctly. Do not use the words “but” or “if” at the end of your long and clever speech (“I’m very sorry, but…”). This “however” has a clear subtext – “In fact, I do not regret it.” Below are several formulations of apologies that will help you in such a delicate issue, and a second option is presented – the wrong one. There is a huge difference between them. Some claim that you admit that you did something wrong and take full responsibility for it. Others say that you are trying to remove this guilt from yourself, because you believe that you did nothing wrong. They give reason to believe that you do not even realize that you actually did something wrong. And the guy may even think that you want to shift your blame to someone else (himself, family, friends, random passers-by, a dog, a bus, etc.). The correct way to say it is: “I’m sorry I offended you”, “I apologize for being late; I feel bad for making you wait an extra ten minutes”, “Honey, I’m so ashamed that I forgot about your birthday! I just have no excuse!” The incorrect way to say it is: “I’m so sorry if I offended you”, “I’m sorry you were offended”.
Learn to answer for your actions
Try to understand the reason for your actions.Is it because you're too busy to remember important dates? Do you tend to react too quickly to comments without waiting to consider alternative points of view? Are you not completely satisfied with your life, and you unwittingly take your dissatisfaction out on others? Find your core problem and describe it to the person you're apologizing to - not as an excuse, but as an explanation. And immediately say what you intend to do to correct the oversight and avoid the same mistake in the future. Otherwise, the guy will think that things are still the same.
- I forgot about the invitation, because I was veryloaded work recently. I'm really very much to blame for you. From today I will keep a record in the diary, this will help me plan the time and find more opportunities for our meetings.
- I was very nervous and irritable lasttime, because I was worried because we do not have enough money. It seemed to me, dear, that you are angry with me for spending too much. Look, I made a list of necessary purchases, and more I will not spend money thoughtlessly.
Patience is the key to success
If your apology is not accepted,Thank your boyfriend for at least listening to you: leave the “door” open so that he can make peace with you later. For example, “I understand that you are still upset and angry with me, but I appreciate the opportunity to apologize. If you change your mind, please call me!” Sometimes people are ready to forgive you, but they need a little more time to cool off. Remember: if someone accepted your apology, this does not always mean that he has completely forgotten about the offense. If this person is dear to you, then it is worth giving him time for his resentment towards you to subside. After all, just as you needed to understand how to apologize correctly and beautifully, some people need to learn how to forgive. If the person you apologized to categorically does not even want to communicate with you, then he does not deserve your attention. If you patiently waited for him to cool down, tried to apologize sincerely and gently, but he continues to be angry with you, then these are rather his problems. You did everything possible to correct your mistake! In this case, just let the person go his own way, and you yourself also move on.
What not to do to guilty persons
Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to apologize toa guy so as not to lose face. Pleading, tears, humiliation - this is not what you and he need, if, of course, he is a normal person. You can give in to emotions later, when you are alone, so that no one sees you. Also, do not give gifts - you will not be able to buy forgiveness. In this way, you will only push your loved one away from you. And even if he was ready to make peace, in this case, pride will take its toll. You can bake a cake, arrange a romantic evening, cook a delicious dinner - this will be completely different. This way he will understand that you tried to do something nice for him. We advise you to read: