Almost all girls, when planning their lives, dreammeet a free man and give him your heart along with the ring finger on your right hand. For an engagement ring. But sometimes it happens that a man who already has a family starts courting a young lady. And he courts her beautifully and persistently, claiming that he has passionate feelings for her. On the one hand, he doesn’t really believe it, because there’s a stamp in his passport! But on the other hand, you want to believe it, because you like the man. So what should you do? Can a married man really fall in love with a girl and should you reciprocate his feelings?

Can a married man fall in love with another woman

Marriages, they say, are made in heaven.And if so, then the hearts of the spouses should belong to each other and no one else. This is the ideal. But in reality, everything is different. Marriages are concluded in the registry office and they are not always based on true deep feelings. It happens that people create a family out of necessity, unite based on considerations of calculation, because relatives wanted it that way, it is convenient with this person, and so on. And it happens that a guy and a girl enter into an official union under the influence of love, which eventually disappears without a trace. But whether a man is married or not, he remains a person subject to feelings. And when there is no special attraction to his wife, a seemingly faithful husband can easily fall in love with another woman. Whether this is subject to condemnation is another question. The fact remains a fact - if the heart is free, it can become attached to some young lady. And you can't order it. Moreover, a married man can unexpectedly fall in love with his employee, the first girl he meets, and even his own wife's friend. Everyone experiences this state of affairs in their own way. Some suffer silently, realizing that they are not free and have no moral rights to outside love. And some go crazy and forget about everything in the world, trying with all their might to achieve reciprocity of the object of their love. This is especially true for guys who get married at a fairly early age for marriage. A young man who has barely crossed the threshold of twenty years old sees his wife more as a mother than a woman who needs to be looked after and protected. Initially, this state of affairs suits him. But then, having matured, he wants to be independent. In order to prove his independence, a mature husband consciously or unconsciously begins to look for someone who will help strengthen this independence. And, naturally, he finds and becomes seriously carried away, without thinking much about the consequences. A man who has lived with his wife for a couple of decades is also capable of falling head over heels in love with another woman. There are many reasons why men, whose youth has long passed, fall in love like boys. Here you have boredom, and predictability of family relationships, and lack of attention from your spouse, and a desire for novelty, and a desire to finish what you didn’t finish in your youth, and a search for a soul mate, and a demon drilling into your ribs… At this age, previously faithful married men often become infatuated with a young lady after they have once been in bed with her by chance. New sensual sensations that arise from possessing an unfamiliar body deprive them of the ability to think clearly. Sometimes this state does not last long. And sometimes it makes a person completely lose his head. In a word, a man who has a family and even children may well fall in love with some young lady. And fall in love seriously. And what should a girl do in this case? No, if she doesn’t like him at all and is absolutely not suitable, such a question does not arise. Categorically reject the courtship, and that’s the end of it. But often she likes him and is suitable! What should she do in this case?

What attracts a romance with a married man

In fact, the romances of free women with family menmen today are encountered all the time. There are even some who are not very moralistic, hunting for successful men who are devoted to their wives. I think there is no need to explain why they are successful. And why devoted? Because faithful husbands are not distinguished by their sophistication in relationships with the opposite sex. They are easier to seduce. A request for help, admiration for their intelligence and actions, a few inviting, tender, rather frank glances - and the married man is in your hands. And then it's up to you. Some of the mistresses try with all their might to break up the family, while others are content with what they get. This applies to women who are ready to have an affair with a married man and who know in advance what such an affair will threaten. However, young ladies who are inexperienced in these matters and who have a far from mercantile interest in their gentleman often fall into such a trap! It is not surprising - he is usually considerate, caring, romantic, not rude, always looks good. In addition, he does not bother every day, does not impose himself, does not show his shortcomings, trying to show himself only from the best side. A fairy tale, not a man! A woman's heart is drawn to him more and more, and her mind resists this less and less. As a result, a stormy and sometimes quite long romance begins. If you think about it, then this is even great. Well, who among us does not dream of a relationship not clouded by any everyday problems? We meet, admire each other, kiss each other and go our separate ways. He does not know how wrinkled we sometimes look in the morning, does not demand hearty lunches and dinners, does not reproach us for not sewing on a button on time. We, in turn, have no idea how long the gentleman sits in the toilet, how loudly he snores at night and where he manages to shove his dirty laundry. And in general, does it exist, this is his dirty laundry. An affair with a man who has a family is attractive because of its unpredictability, which significantly affects the depth of feelings. The unexpectedness of meetings and the impossibility of enjoying them fully, without looking back at the fact that the beloved has a wife, give the relationship (if they are not based on benefits) a certain aura of sublimity. Which is incredibly captivating to young romantic ladies. And if we are one of them, then we can throw ourselves into the arms of a married man, forgetting about everything in the world. But this is exactly what you should not do. Since in such relationships there are a lot of sad nuances, which usually cannot be avoided.

Negative side of the novel with a married man

No matter how noble her character may bea woman, if she meets a married man, then in most cases she cherishes the dream of taking him away from his family. However, this rarely works out. Even if the mistress is much younger, more beautiful, fresher than the already boring spouse. Because even married men who are head over heels in love with some lady are afraid of radical changes that break the usual way of life. They can suffer, be tormented by doubts, rush from one woman to another. But as a result, they will never make a choice. Under the influence of love, a family man will deceive his wife and lie to his mistress, promising to marry her. No, his lie is not at all a conscious meanness of an egoist who thinks only of himself. It is rather self-deception that drowns out the voice of conscience. Like, since I fell in love, I will certainly get a divorce. But later. After all, a wife is a close person, and you can’t hurt her by breaking off relations too abruptly. "Later", as a rule, never comes. Of course, there are exceptions. It happens that a man really leaves his family with the intention of creating a union with another woman. And this union even works out, and works out well. However, who can guarantee that he will not be drawn at least from time to time to his former family, especially if there are children there? And that he will not yearn for his favorite chair, his adored dog, his comfortable slippers, finally? Whatever the marriage, it does not pass without a trace. And the second wife will never become the first. However, truly loving people can survive such twists and turns in their relationships. If a man and a woman really cannot imagine life without each other, and for this he goes to extreme measures and leaves the family. But the fact is that only a few decide on such an act! Most prefer to leave everything as is. Because it is customary to quarrel with your wife and make peace, remain silent or discuss slippery topics, go to visit and attend some events or lie on the couch. You can relax next to her, spit on the need to always be in shape and on caution in communication. The spouse will accept many things without prejudice and will forgive many or even not notice. And how it will turn out with another woman is unknown. Falling in love is falling in love, but such things must be looked at realistically. If a man is capable of rational thinking, that's how it will turn out. He will not risk parting with a family life that is a little boring, but familiar to the smallest detail, for the sake of a dubious future with a mistress. A mistress is for the soul and body. That is, for an outlet. It is extremely pleasant to spend time with her. And because this time is limited, it is doubly pleasant. And what should a lady who has fallen in love with a married man be prepared for in this case?

To the fact that he can appear at any time of the dayand the night and will be pushing hard at the door even at six o'clock in the morning. But how else, because a family man is not able to plan a meeting hours with another woman! Therefore, she should always be glad of his appearance and in no case express displeasure at least something. Problems zhenatica enough at home.

To the fact that you have to tell untruth acquaintances,explaining to them why the gentleman happens to her in public quite rarely and does not make an offer in any way. If you tell everything frankly, there is a risk of causing false pity or even ridicule and provoking gossip. It is likely that there will be those who consider it their duty to report on the wife of the lover. And how then circumstances will develop, God knows. Most likely, the relationship will end.

To the fact that life will turn into an endlessa string of expectations. Days without dates will become long, gray and sad, and most nights are lonely. His beloved will still spend weekends, holidays and holidays with his family. And it is safe to have sex with his wife, assuring that she has not been sleeping with her for a long time. In fact, that this is a lie, you can not even doubt it. Intimacy with his wife at least once a week is inevitable. Otherwise, she will have suspicions, creating additional complications. Why spoil your existence if you can just sleep? Moreover, this is legally required.

To the fact that the desire to take a man away from his wife will becomeextremely strong and will become the main goal in life. It must be said that this happens very often. A woman, overwhelmed by one thought - to break up her lover's family - usually begins to behave, to put it mildly, not very nicely. For this, she is usually ready for any actions and does not disdain any means. Calls to the wife, demands for a divorce, threats, speculation about an imaginary illness or pregnancy - all these Mexican passions do not paint the young lady in a good light either in the eyes of others or in the eyes of her lover. As a result, the relationship with him deteriorates and gradually collapses. But even if the lady manages to achieve her goal, she is unlikely to be happy with a man whose feelings have cracked.

In short, an affair with a married man promises a lot of trouble. Is it possible to minimize the occurrence of such troubles and how to do it?

When and how you can decide on an affair with a married man

In general, with married men in generalсвязываться нежелательно. Но иной раз бывает так, что мы узнаём про семейный статус кавалера уже после того, как отношения с ним перешагнут дружескую стадию. Если рассуждать здраво, то связь надо бы тут же разорвать. Однако сделать это получается далеко не всегда. Причин тому найдётся немало. Тут тебе и чувства, и общие интересы, и ещё какие-то неумолимые обстоятельства… Если уж так вышло, чтобы роман был наименее болезненным, девушке желательно взять себя в руки и откорректировать своё отношение к любовнику. В первую очередь нужно выбросить из головы мысль о его разводе. Просто выбросить, и всё. Это позволит спокойнее относиться к недостатку внимания со стороны любимого и легче пережить расставание с ним, если оно станет неизбежным. Ну, а во вторую очередь постараться жить полной жизнью — быть независимой, увлечённой чем-то женщиной, не отказывающейся от знакомств и флирта с остальными мужчинами. Конечно, вести себя подобным образом сможет не каждая. Но если мы не обладаем довольно сильным характером, нетерпеливы и не в состоянии контролировать свои эмоции, лучше вообще обходить женатиков десятой дорогой! Иначе воз страданий нам будет уготовлен. По идее, отношения с семейным человеком можно поддерживать, если правильно к ним подойти. То есть изначально воспринимать кавалера, как удобного, оказывающего какие-то услуги знакомого. Пусть он будет, к примеру, другом, помогающим решать бытовые вопросы, сексуальным партнёром, спонсором, «папочкой-покровителем», – кем угодно, но только не объектом для брачного союза. Как там получится дальше, решит судьба. А пока настраиваем себя на полезность мужчины. И только. Откровенно говоря, это несколько циничный подход к связи с чьим-то мужем. Но если такую связь исключить сложно, тогда он – единственный способ защиты от боли и разочарований. Ведь дай только волю эмоциям – и пиши пропало! Утонешь в слезах и бесперспективных мечтах, которым в большинстве случаев сбыться не суждено. Да, владеть собой, когда влюблена, очень непросто. Но давайте взглянем на ситуацию под другим углом. Что нужно женщине от мужчины? Надёжная опора и защита. А какая надёжная опора может получиться из окольцованного мужчины, который львиную долю сил и времени посвящает жене и детям? Он не примчится по первому зову, не бросится решать проблемы любовницы, позабыв о своих, не будет звонить каждую минуту, если она в беде, не потратит все деньги на её нужды. На первом месте всегда будет семья. И вряд ли что-то станет делаться ей в ущерб. Вообще, женщины, связывающиеся с женатыми мужчинами, делятся на две категории. К первой принадлежат те, кто мечтает выйти за любовника замуж. Они могут настойчиво и терпеливо развивать такие отношения, намереваясь придать им статус серьёзных. Дамы второй категории создать с несвободным кавалером семью совсем не стремятся. В некоторых случаях они решаются иметь от него ребёнка, но при этом на место жены всё равно не претендуют. Эти барышни, как правило, специально ищут хороших семьянинов, считая их более интересными, содержательными и надёжными. Довольно сильно привязаться они способны лишь к самодостаточным, в чём-то реализовавшимся мужчинам, к которым, по мнению особ подобного типа, холостяки не относятся. Ориентированные на связь исключительно с женатыми дамы готовы ко всем неудобствам таких отношений. Они не очень-то расстраиваются, если ухажёр долго не звонит или при встрече всё время поглядывает на часы, дабы успеть домой к положенному времени. А вот тем, кто живёт с мыслью женить на себе любовника, приходится туго. Мало того, что нужно тщательно взвешивать каждое слово и каждый поступок, чтобы не оскорбить любимого или не напугать своей настойчивостью. Необходимо ещё и подстраиваться под его правила жизни – звонить только в определённое время, прощать невыполненные обещания, терпеть кратковременность нечастых встреч. Кроме того, всегда существует опасность крутых разборок с благоверной кавалера. А это тоже не очень радует. Конечно же, есть шанс, что женатый мужчина однажды оценит такое терпение, поймёт, что потерять столь преданную и любящую женщину смерти подобно, разведётся и вручит себя любовнице со всеми потрохами. Но шанс такой невелик. Если мы, принимая сей факт во внимание, всё же готовы ждать годами, порой отчаиваясь и впадая в депрессию, — даём свободу развитию отношений. Но помним при этом, что время неумолимо накладывает свой отпечаток на внешность женщины. Вполне возможно, что через пяток лет любимому захочется кого-нибудь помоложе и посвежее. И с чем тогда останемся мы? С разбитым сердцем и нереализованными надеждами. И хорошо, если сможем оправиться от удара и найти человека для жизни. А если нет? Так не лучше ли попытаться взять себя в руки и отказаться от сомнительных отношений? Ведь семья – не бугорок на дороге, через неё легко не переступишь. Мужская натура устроена так, что какими бы преданными жене мужья ни казались, им всем присущ интерес к другим женщинам. Бесспорно, этот интерес может перерасти в нечто большее, и, если мужчина всерьёз влюбился и очаровал барышню, привести, в итоге, к ошеломительному роману. Поэтому утверждать, что женатый человек заводит любовницу только с развлекательной целью, нельзя. Зачастую в таких поступках присутствуют чувства. Ответить на них взаимностью или нет – дело индивидуальное. В конце концов, нам выбирать свой путь. И только нам по нему идти. Советуем почитать:

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