how to quarrel correctly We all, creating a family, naively think that quarrels init will not be. After all, we love and perfectly understand each other, therefore, we will live together happily ever after. Without scandals and conflicts. Soul into the soul. Meanwhile, time passes, and quarrels begin to appear almost on an empty place. Sometimes we despair, believing that love is going away. However quarrels are absolutely normal phenomenon. Occasional conflicts between people living side by side are inevitable and even a sign of a healthy family. It is important to know how to quarrel correctly so that one day a quarrel over unwashed dishes or scattered newspapers does not lead to a dramatic ending. Usually, women who are wise with family experience teach us how to behave with the husband, so that he is all happy. How to talk to him, how to meet with work, how to serve dinner ... But how to quarrel with a man correctly, practically nobody learns. And it is written about this a little, and no one reads lectures. Therefore, let's think for ourselves how it is possible to scandal so that both the steam is released and the family is not ruined.

Why do quarrels arise?

Most family quarrels begin because of the existencenonsense, smoothly flowing then almost into the universal war between the spouses. Then it acquires the status of a cold war, with a tense atmosphere in the house, the gloomy silence of the husband and wife and their stubborn reluctance to look into each other's eyes. Sometimes such a situation is discharged within one or two days. And sometimes it drags on for weeks and even months, creating a deeper gap between the spouses. As a result, a quarrel, which began because of trivial things, can lead to a break. And only then, after the divorce, we begin to understand with pain that there was no real reason for him, in fact. A wonderful ending, is not it? Two people who love each other have dispersed in different directions because of the scattered socks. But the conflict could be repaid at the very beginning, preventing it from escalating into irreconcilable hostility. Only for this purpose it is necessary to be able to quarrel so that as a result to improve family relations. And do not kill them, inflicting unbearable and enduring pain to each other. Unfortunately, not all spouses rightly quarrel. We do not know how to conflict. Hot, irritated, we cross all borders, unfairly accusing the opponent of all sins ... In family quarrels, this often takes the form of battles without rules, where the husband and wife tend to hit each other as painfully as possible. It is understandable. Spouses perfectly know the most vulnerable places of each other, and in the heat of the quarrel they strike precisely at these places. Hence - the deepest grievances and the inability to forgive and forget them. There is a misunderstanding, a cold in the relationship, a divorce. Conclusion: it is very important to learn how to quarrel correctly. Let's see if there are some unspoken laws of the right family quarrels.

Rules of normal family quarrels

We have already said that even in very safemarriages periodical quarrels are almost inevitable. At the same time, after the scandals, families not only do not disintegrate, they are strengthened, improved, they become harmonious and more reliable. In fairness, I must say that in such families during a quarrel the wife usually behaves normally. Men are more straightforward. And if they declare war, they rush into battle, not particularly thinking about the tactics of his conduct. So, to ensure that the scandal between the spouses did not lead to the collapse of marriage, a tactician in it should be a woman. Correctly quarrel So, how do women tactics behave during quarrels? They follow certain rules. Namely:

  • Scandal in the family should only concern the promptingits causes. You can not start a quarrel because of scattered things or unwashed dishes, then move on to situations from the past, to relatives, friends or some of the wife's shortcomings that are irrelevant to the quarrel;
  • In a quarrel, one should not use phrases like "... yesyou are always! "or" ... you never! ". According to psychologists, such expressions are nothing more than programming a person for the same actions in which he is reproached. Husband, if he is guilty of something, you need to give a chance to improve. It's unlikely that our halves want to upset us. Rather, on the contrary;
  • In the right quarrel, in no case can we recall what was the year, month, week ago. Do not even touch what happened yesterday;
  • In general, the quarrel must take place in certainwithin the emotional boundaries. In anger we control ourselves badly and can say a lot of things that in a calm state and does not come to mind. Go later, prove to the dearest half that it was just anger! Therefore, as soon as you feel that you start to boil in earnest - go to another room and count to ten. So you will calm down and be able, if there is such a desire, to continue a quarrel with a "sober" head;
  • Do not rush to respond abruptly to any offensive remarks of her husband. Slowly inhale and exhale two or three times. And then calmly say something in response. Do not forget the rule of "sober head" !;
  • For the right quarrels in the family is to invent a certainritual. For example, arrange with your spouse about some dress code for scandals: dressing gowns, blouses, shirts of a certain kind. And, at the slightest signs of a tense atmosphere in the house, immediately go to the bedroom and dress in "clothes for scandal." Such methods as much as possible contribute to a decrease in tension;
  • Do not sulk after a scandal for several days, notbe silent and do not make an unapproachable appearance. Often, men would approach with apologies, but we look as if we are ready to rush into battle again. As a result, our husbands are frightenedly retreating back home and become self-absorbed. Do not hurt them after quarrels - men are more vulnerable than us. It will be better after some time after the scandal to pretend that nothing has happened, or even apologize. It's nothing that her husband will keep quiet or answer something in response. A man should emphasize his status. After a while, he will go.
  • Preservation of the family is not an easy task. And a successful decision depends primarily on the woman. Because a woman by nature is wiser and more tolerant. It is she who creates the mood in the house, and it is she who can make all the household happy or unhappy. What to do, this is our lot! Therefore, in order to keep warm for a long time in the relationship with her husband, it is worth learning how to quarrel with him correctly. After all, any normal spouse does not like scandals and in the depths of his soul very much wants his half to be happy with him. Sometimes our faithful simply do not understand, because of what a scandal erupted. After all, it seems that everything is in order - and the salary is delivered home, and the favorite sofa got its owner. Rejoice, wife! And she, instead of joy, throws out thunder and lightning. Like, lying around here like a log, throwing things around the house, throwing the plates into the sink, and so on, and so forth. The husband, of course, begins to defend himself. And went-went. As a result, it turns out that he spoiled his life's most precious life, that from him only troubles, and in general they need to disperse. And that's all. And everything turned upside down. My husband does not want to return home from work anymore, he spends more and more time with friends. And then, maybe, already not with friends. Unfortunately, such a scenario for the development of family relations occurs quite often. No, of course, there are situations when a man has indeed committed a significant offense. But even in this case a grand scandal is not an option. A quarrel of this kind will only give the husband an excuse for self-justification and permanently set him against his wife. But a calm, fairly tough conversation will make it clear that your actions should be reviewed and adjusted. To avoid quarrels over trifles, it is better to immediately distribute duties in the family and establish some rules. For example, if the wife is at work, the husband is cleaning the house, and vice versa. Or that cleaning is done together. With mutual agreement and agreement, the number of reasons for quarrels will be significantly reduced. Daily quarrels because of small things so spoil our lives! And it's so hard for us then to say to our beloved: "I'm sorry, my good. I was wrong! "And the insults accumulate, and each other grows displeased, and the love and warmth of the relationship is lost. And all this because of unwashed dishes and scattered socks ?! Is our happiness so cheap that we give it so easily and frivolously? Scandal, scandal, scandal ... No, it's almost impossible to avoid quarrels in the family. So the person is arranged, - strong negative emotions contribute to his internal progress. Therefore, almost all of us need them. However, do not let them break our lives. Happiness is a very fragile thing. So let's take care of it and quarrel with your beloved man only by the rules! We advise you to read: