"He's so cool! I'm crazy about him!"He's the best guy in the world!" - this is what you think every time you meet a guy you like. In your mind, you're already his girlfriend, you spend all your free time together, go to the movies and clubs, walk around the city. But what's the reality? In reality, he's in no hurry to set up a date. And then comes the moment when you decide to confess your feelings, but you have no idea how to tell a guy that you like him. Maybe just go up to him, pat him on the shoulder and say: "Hey, I like you"? What if he laughs in your face? What if you leave a message on his Facebook page? What if he decides you're joking? Ask your friend to tell him that you like him? No way, in such cases, the third is too much. What to do? In our article we will give some practical advice especially for shy girls who cannot find the right words to confess their sympathy to a young man and are desperately embarrassed to take the first step.
Love does not love…
First, find out how the guy feels about you.Fortune telling on a daisy (“loves, does not love, will spit, will kiss, will send to hell, will press to his heart”) is, of course, easier, but fraught with unexpected results. So try to find out this question in other ways. It’s good if you have the same social circle: then it will be much easier to do. First, try to be closer to him. If a guy is interested in you, he will not object to letting you into his personal space. Psychologists believe that our comfort zone is the distance to which we “allow” the closest people to us: parents, relatives, friends, as well as those to whom we are not indifferent. It outlines a circle with a radius of approximately fifty centimeters. The second zone is neutral (from half a meter to one and a half meters). At this distance we keep from colleagues at work, classmates, etc. The third zone is social, it is intended for strangers or people we don’t like. We try to stay away from them literally - at a distance of one and a half to four meters. So, if the guy doesn't mind that you often try to "close the distance" between you, you have a chance to win! Secondly, pay attention to body language. If during a conversation the guy does not take closed poses (does not cross his arms on his chest, does not stand half-turned to you, etc.), does not try to put any barrier between you (for example, put a book down), looks you in the eyes, smiles - it means that he does not mind communicating with you. Then it will be easier for you to confess your tender feelings to him. It is important not to go to extremes: it is not at all necessary to constantly catch his eye, try to take his arm or carry a tape measure with you and carefully measure the distance between you. Such strange behavior can quickly scare him off, and then he will begin to avoid meeting you.
How to say what you feel
If you realized that the young man appreciates yourPay attention, take the initiative and get to the main point. Choose the right time for confession. You both should be in a good mood, otherwise he simply won’t want to listen to you, and you will say too much in the heat of the moment. You shouldn’t be in a hurry. Confessing your feelings for him if he is in a hurry to go to the pool and you are late for evening English classes is not the best option. In addition, it is better if there are no strangers around you during this important conversation. Of course, the presence of your girlfriends can give you courage and self-confidence. But who knows, maybe he will decide that you decided to play a joke on him? And if his friends are nearby, he may get confused and react to your confession in a way that you don’t want – simply because he will decide that they will make fun of him or ridicule him. Smile! This will help you relax and create a positive mood in the conversation. Look him in the eyes - and you will be less nervous. Prepare yourself psychologically in advance for the fact that he may not reciprocate your feelings (although, of course, we want you to feel mutual sympathy for each other). You can practice in front of the mirror. Say the phrase "I really like you" several times in order to find the right intonation. This way you will get used to it, to how it sounds, and you will feel much more confident. To start a conversation, you can choose a neutral topic, for example, inquire about his plans for the weekend or ask how the swimming competition in which he took part went. Keep in mind that questions should be formulated in such a way that they cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no". The young man's answer should create a "bridge" to your confession. Develop possible options for developing the conversation in advance, depending on what the guy answers your question. For example:
- You: What do you do on the weekend?
- He: Nothing special. Not decided yet. Why are you asking?
- You: Masha called me on Saturday for her birthday. She said that I can come with a young man. I like you very much, and I decided to invite you.
Or:
- You: How are the competitions?
- He: Not really, to be honest. I took only third place.
- You: Do not worry, I like you very much anyway.
Of course, there is a chance that the guy won'twill take your confession seriously. This may happen because of the way you say the phrase “I really like you”: hastily, as if in passing, demonstrating that you yourself do not attach any importance to it. Or, perhaps, he will be confused by surprise, will not figure out how to react, and will simply pretend that he did not hear anything. Therefore, pronounce your confession, clearly and distinctly pronouncing the words. If necessary, you will have to confess again: “I really like you a lot.” This is where your rehearsals in front of the mirror will come in handy. If he is still in no hurry to react to what you said, you can gently push him to answer: “You know, this is the first time I confess my sympathy to a young man and I am a little nervous because I do not know if you like me.” This will be enough to bring him out of confusion. It is wonderful if the guy confesses his feelings to you in return. Of course, you will be in seventh heaven. Just don’t pounce on him with kisses and don’t hug him heartily. Just smile and ask him out on a date. If he says that he doesn’t have any feelings for you other than friendship, don’t make a tragedy out of it, don’t cry and don’t beg him to explain why he can’t respond to your sympathy. You have something to be proud of – you are a courageous and determined girl. Say: “It was hard for me to admit my feelings for you, but I just wanted you to know it. We are friends, right?” Perhaps the young man will ask for a time-out to sort out his feelings for you. This is also possible, because he didn’t expect you to admit that you are not indifferent to him. Give him time to think, and agree to return to this conversation in a couple of days.
How to write to him that you like him
This is an option for the most shy andshy girls who are hesitant to confess to a guy in a face-to-face conversation. If you have his ICQ number or you are on his VKontakte friends list, you can write him a private message. This method of communication is very similar to the conversation we talked about above, so you can simply use the same tips. The disadvantage of this option (and, in our opinion, a very serious one) is the lack of eye contact. It is very important to see the eyes of the person to whom you confess your sympathy - they will tell you how he feels about your words, and whether he is ready to take your friendship to another level. Some modest girls choose to play the "mysterious stranger" game: they write a note to a young man in which they confess their feelings, and they themselves set up a date. Such a note does not need to be signed: an intrigued guy will come to the meeting to find out who the author of the message is. There is a wonderful film "You've Got Mail" with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in the leading roles. The heroes accidentally meet on a social network, and a correspondence begins between them. They write to each other about everything under the sun: about the books they read, about the city they live in, about evening walks with the dog and much, much more. Without even knowing each other's names, they begin to feel mutual sympathy, which they do not dare to admit. They know each other in real life, but do not suspect it. The situation is resolved precisely after the young man asks the girl out on a date in a letter. This scenario is suitable for young people with a romantic streak. Taking the first step and confessing your tender feelings to a guy is not as difficult as it may seem at first glance. It is much more difficult to live in a vicious circle of constant worries, hopes and doubts. It is impossible to guess day and night how he feels about you, or to ask the same question over and over again on forums: "Tell me, how do I know if he likes me or not?" By hiding your feelings, you may be giving up happy moments in your life that you could spend with the person you like. It is better to confess first than to regret your indecision later. Only you can decide what to do. And if you have already made a decision – act!
