"He is so cool! I'm crazy about him! He is the best guy in the world! "- approximately every time you think about it when you meet a young man whom you are sympathetic to. In your thoughts, you are already his girlfriend, you spend all your free time together, go to the movies and clubs, walk around the city. And what in reality? In fact, he is in no hurry to make an appointment. And here comes the moment when you decide to admit your feelings, but you have absolutely no idea how to tell a guy that you like him. Maybe just go up to him, pat on the shoulder and say: "Hey, do I like you?" What if he laughs in your face? And what if you leave a message on his Facebook page? What if he decides that you're joking? Ask a friend to tell him that he cares about you? Well, no, in such cases, the third one is superfluous. How to be? In this article we will give some practical advice specifically for the modest who can not find the right words to admit to the young man in their sympathy, and are frantically embarrassed to take the first step.
Love does not love…
First, find out how the guy treats you. Guessing on a camomile ("loves, does not like, spits, kisses, sends to the devil, clings to the heart"), of course, easier, but fraught with unexpected results. So try to find out this question in other ways. Well, if you have one circle of friends: then it will be much easier. First, try to be closer to him. If you are interested in a guy, he will not mind letting you into his personal space. Psychologists believe that our comfort zone is the distance to which we "let" the closest people to ourselves: parents, relatives, friends, as well as those to whom we are not indifferent. It delineates a circle with a radius of about fifty centimeters. The second zone is neutral (from half a meter to one and a half meters). At this distance we keep from colleagues at work, classmates, etc. The third zone is social, it is intended for outsiders or unpleasant people. From them, we try to stay literally away - at a distance of one and a half to four meters. So, if the guy is not against the fact that you often try to "reduce the distance" between you, you have a chance to win! Secondly, pay attention to the body language. If during a conversation the guy does not accept closed poses (does not cross his arms on his chest, does not stand to you half-turned, and so on), does not try to put any barrier between you (for example, put a book), looks into your eyes, smiles - means , he does not mind talking to you. Then it will be easier for you to admit to him in tender feelings. It is important not to go to extremes: it is not necessary to constantly catch his gaze, try to take him by the arm or carry a roulette and carefully measure the distance between you. Such strange behavior can quickly scare him away, and then he will begin to avoid meeting you.
How to say what you feel
If you understand that a young man appreciates yourattention, take the initiative into your own hands and move on to the main thing. Choose the appropriate time for recognition. Both of you should be in a good mood, because otherwise he just does not want to listen to you, and you'll say too much in the heat. You do not have to hurry anywhere. To admit to sympathy, if a guy hurries to workout in the pool, and you are late for evening English classes, - not the most successful option. In addition, it is better if during this important conversation with you there will be no strangers. Of course, the presence of friends can give you courage and self-confidence. But who knows, suddenly he decides that you decided to play him? And if his friends are next to him, he may become embarrassed and react to your confession in a different way than you want - simply because he decides that they will joke or mock him. Smile! This will help you relax and create a positive attitude in conversation. Look into his eyes - and you'll be less nervous. Prepare psychologically in advance that he may not respond to your feelings (although we, of course, want you to feel mutual sympathy for each other). You can practice in front of a mirror. Say the phrase "I like you very much" several times in order to find a suitable intonation. So you will get used to it, to how it sounds, and you will feel much more confident. To start a conversation, you can choose a neutral topic, for example, ask about his weekend plans or ask how the swimming competitions in which he took part were held. Bear in mind that questions should be formulated in such a way that they can not be answered simply by "yes" or "no." The young man's answer is to create a "bridge" to your confession. In advance, develop possible options for developing the conversation, depending on what the guy will answer your question. For example:
- You: What do you do on the weekend?
- He: Nothing special. Not decided yet. Why are you asking?
- You: Masha called me on Saturday for her birthday. She said that I can come with a young man. I like you very much, and I decided to invite you.
- You: How are the competitions?
- He: Not really, to be honest. I took only third place.
- You: Do not worry, I like you very much anyway.
Of course, there is a possibility that the guy does notwill take your recognition seriously. It can happen because of how you say the phrase "I like you very much": hastily, as if by the way, demonstrating that you yourself do not attach any importance to it. Or, perhaps, he is lost from surprise, does not know how to react, and just pretends that he has not heard anything. Therefore, pronounce your confession, clearly and clearly pronouncing the words. If necessary, I'll have to admit once again: "I really like you very much." That's where your rehearsals in front of the mirror come in handy. If he still does not hurry to react to what you said, you can gently push him to the answer: "You know, I first admit to a young man in sympathy and a little nervous, because I do not know if I like you." This will be enough to get him out of the bewilderment. It's great if a guy confesses to you in return feelings. Of course, you will be in seventh heaven with happiness. Just do not pounce on him with kisses and not the soul in the arms. Just smile and ask him out on a date. If he says that he has no feelings for you other than friends, do not make a tragedy of it, do not cry and do not beg him to explain why he can not respond to your sympathy. You already have something to be proud of - you are a courageous and determined girl. Say: "It was hard for me to admit my feelings for you, but I just wanted you to know this. We're friends, right? "Perhaps a young man will ask for a time-out to sort out his feelings for you. This also can be, because he did not expect that you admit that he does not care about you. Give him time to think, and agree to return to this conversation in a couple of days.
How to write to him that you like him
This is an option for the most shy and shyGirls who do not dare to confess to a guy in a conversation face to face. If you have his ICQ number or you are on the list of his friends "VKontakte", you can write him a personal message. This way of communication is very similar to the conversation we talked about above, so you can just use the same tips. The disadvantage of this option (and, in our opinion, very serious) is the absence of eye contact. To see the eyes of a person you admit to sympathy is very important - they will tell you how he relates to your words, and whether he is ready to translate your friendly relations to another level. Some modest people choose the game in the "mysterious stranger": they write a note to a young man, in which they confess their feelings, and they make an appointment themselves. Such a note should not be signed: the intrigued guy will come to the meeting to find out who the author of the message is. There is a wonderful film "You Letter" with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in the lead roles. Heroes accidentally get acquainted in a social network, and between them a conversation is fastened. They write to each other about everything in the world: the books they read, the city they live in, the evening walks with the dog and many other things. Not knowing even the names of each other, they begin to experience mutual sympathy, in which they hesitate to admit. They are familiar in real life, but do not know about it. The situation is resolved precisely after the young man in the letter appoints the girl a date. This scenario is suitable for young people with a romantic vein. To take the first step and to admit to the guy in tender feelings is not so difficult, as it may seem at first glance. It is much more difficult to live in a closed circle of constant anxieties, hopes and doubts. It is impossible to guess day and night how he treats you, or ask the same question on the forums time after time: "Tell me, how do I know if I like him or not?" Hiding your feelings, you, perhaps, refuse the happy moments of your life, which could hold next to the person you liked. It is better to confess first than to regret your indecision. Only you decide what to do. And if you have already made a decision - act!