Did your man leave you?This happens quite often and many have had to endure the despair and resentment that accompany such a breakup. In your head, as if on a broken tape recorder, you can constantly hear: “For what? For what?..” Today we will try to at least somehow help you in this situation and tell you what to do so that such a crisis passes as soon as possible. Probably, every woman at least once in her life has faced such a nuisance as a breakup with a loved one. And this is really a very, very difficult test even for the strongest woman. And the only question that arises in a woman’s head during this period is how to survive after a breakup with a loved one? From the outside, this question may seem absolutely crazy. But those who have experienced this pain themselves will understand the relevance of this problem. After all, in fact, a woman’s life after a breakup with a loved one practically stops for some time. Interest is literally lost in everything - to work, to your hobbies, to children, if you have any, to your appearance, and finally to food. Fortunately, in most cases this negative period does not last very long - two or three weeks, after which the woman begins to slowly come to her senses. But, alas, this is not always the case - some representatives of the fair sex cannot pull themselves together for a very long time. And this threatens quite real problems - for example, prolonged depression. This should not be allowed under any circumstances - you need to start acting. Popular wisdom says that tears will not help grief. And this is really true, unfortunately or fortunately. So wipe away your tears, throw away your handkerchiefs and go forward - to a bright future. Of course, no one requires you to sing songs and give your radiant smiles in the first days after the breakup. Do you want to cry? Cry! Want to break all the dishes in the house? Go ahead, buy new ones later. Does your soul require you to cut to shreds all the things that remind you of your ex? Scissors will help you! Psychologists call this condition an outburst of negative emotions. And this is the most important stage on the path to recovery, which means you need to go through it. And it will become much easier for you, you'll see!

Realize what happened

The first few days after a breakup, a womancan't comprehend what happened. In psychology, this phenomenon is called the "denial period". No, a woman understands perfectly well with her brain what happened, but on an emotional level she refuses to believe it. And until she believes it, she will not be able to break out of this emotional state. Have you cried enough? Now sit down, stop crying for at least a minute and tell yourself the following - you, or rather - with you, broke off the relationship. The breakup of any relationship is almost always difficult, and for both partners in a couple at once. And despite the fact that it was your ex-man who broke up the relationship, it is unlikely that he is in an easier situation now than you are. Oddly enough, but this malicious thought warms the souls of most women. And that's true - you are not the only one who suffers. You must accept this situation from this point of view. Your subconscious refuses to believe what is happening and no amount of persuasion or common sense can help you? Well, you'll have to take more radical action. To begin with, remove all things that remind you of your ex-man from visible places. The same old folk wisdom says that out of sight - out of mind. If you can't bring yourself to throw everything away, then at least collect everything in one box and put it away. Of course, if your husband left you, this won't be easy - you can't stuff the entire apartment into a closet. But you can find a way out of this situation - go to your mom's for a couple of days or even go to a holiday home. By the way, at the same time, you'll change the environment, which will also only benefit you, mind you.

Do not harbor illusions

Psychologists say that the most difficult thingthe time immediately after the breakup is the first six weeks. It is important that this period of time can be significantly reduced only if you firmly decide for yourself that this is the real end. Understand - let him leave! Let it not be your fault, but only his decision. Do not hold back your tears. Cry to your heart's content, but do not forget to repeat to yourself a thousand times: "Yes, he left! He left forever!" And now, uttered for the thousand and first time, this phrase will cease to dominate you at once. And with this, as a rule, very serious problems arise - almost every woman hopes for a very long time that the man will come to his senses and will definitely return to her, realizing what he has lost. And as long as the woman thinks about this, and not about how to start a new life after the breakup, she will not be able to get rid of mental anguish. Pay attention to this! Such an understanding of the current situation is quite important. Therefore, if you cope and understand that this is really the end, then it is already worth a lot. Consider this the first victory, the first battle won in the war in the name of yourself. Turn into a strong personality - a woman who knows how to cope with difficulties. And parting for her is nothing more than another, completely fixable problem. You can get back on your feet and continue on your way, no matter what happens. And if you continue to wait for the return of your prince, you will continue to exhaust your already exhausted psyche. But is it worth it? As practice shows, less than a third of all men who broke off relationships on their own initiative return. In addition, it is very important to ask yourself one simple question - do you really need this return? And, more importantly, answer it honestly. After all, you understand perfectly well that the one who betrayed once will most likely betray again. Are you ready to constantly live as if on a powder keg?

How to reduce pain?

Don't forget that your main goal isis the most painless way out of these failed relationships. First of all, you must preserve your individuality and self-respect. And if you yourself were the initiator, then, for sure, you do not want to suffer from pangs of conscience and want to forget about everything as soon as possible. In this case, read on:

• A diary

In case you have never been differentespecially talkative, and sharing your problems with someone is somehow not in your habits, then you should start a personal diary. A diary is, perhaps, one of the best and most effective methods to get rid of all kinds of grievances, sad memories and oppressive thoughts once and for all. You can quite easily get rid of the burden of piled up problems. Your diary is not only a wonderful listener and interlocutor who is always with you in difficult moments of separation, but also a wonderful psychotherapist. In addition, a thought written on paper becomes clearer and more distinct and easier to understand. As soon as you pour out all your grievances, insults and torments, they will immediately turn into the past and go away from you. Emotions and experiences no longer weigh on your soul and seem to set you free. It is as if you take off, and calmness, self-control and common sense return to you again. Very often you can hear the advice to burn everything you have written, trying to get rid of the negativity in this way. But many psychologists claim that you will splash out the negativity on paper anyway, and rereading about your current emotional state later, when everything has stabilized, will not only be very entertaining, but also useful. Just be careful that your diary does not fall into the wrong hands - there is no need for strangers to dig through your dirty laundry, right?

• Openness

To be left alone with your problemsquite difficult. This will prolong the recovery period after a breakup even longer. Don't withdraw into yourself. Tell as many people around you as possible about your problems. Psychoanalysis calls this approach "the grief dissipation method." After a fairly short period of time, you will feel quite light, as if a weight had been lifted from your soul. Talk to your girlfriends. They will listen to you and give you some advice. Although in some cases it is still better to go to a psychologist. Unfortunately, it often happens that despite a huge circle of friends, there is no one to talk to. After all, you can only share your most intimate thoughts with people you completely trust. Of course, instead of a psychologist, you can go to the train station, buy a ticket for the first train you come across and talk to your fellow travelers. But this is long, inconvenient, and it is unlikely that your fellow traveler will give you good advice, unlike a psychologist.

• Self talk

It's always nice to talk to an intelligent person, noIs that so? And besides, it’s also very useful! Sit comfortably in front of a mirror. Then try to talk to yourself. Tell yourself about your problems. Psychologists say that this kind of therapy is very successful in dealing with depression and stress. By the way, when practicing in front of your mirror, finish the session with a lesson in facial expressions. Make a funny face at yourself, and your mood will immediately go up. Just try to convince yourself that the problem is not worth a damn. And you can definitely cope with such a trifle.

• Strengthen your body

Remember:Our mental and emotional state is directly connected to our body. By doing sports and training your body, you will be able to cope with other problems. Work until you “lose your pulse”. It doesn’t matter at all how you load yourself: you can do strength training, running, fitness, or start a general cleaning with rearranging the furniture in all the rooms and general repairs. It doesn’t matter! The main thing is that you exercise physically. In some cases, it is useful to scream loudly or cry out loud. The main task is to let off steam, let negative emotions out, do not accumulate inside you, do not store them, otherwise they will gradually destroy you from the inside. And you will sleep much more soundly at night - you simply won’t have the strength to cry into your pillow.

• Work! Work! Work!

Dive into your work head first.This is simply a magical method for solving all problems. Breaking up with your loved one will pass much faster and more unnoticeably for you. By actively working, you will forget about your troubles and problems, distract yourself from them. Yes, work has another invaluable advantage - it is not only psychotherapy, but also a way to earn money, which means you get double the benefit. And perhaps even a promotion up the career ladder.

• Pamper yourself

Not only psychiatrists, but also other doctors are confident,that regular exercise helps relieve stress. Better overcome yourself and go to a fitness club or a gym. Don't forget about fresh air. Nature also has healing properties. Go for a walk in the park. Treat yourself! Reread a book you love or watch a good movie. Pay attention to yourself. Dress up, even if you don't want to go anywhere that evening. Just stay at home and cook yourself something you love for dinner. Or go to see friends, take part in fun and noisy parties - this way you will distract yourself from sad thoughts. Your life should not stop and freeze. Events and changes should happen in it.

• Meditation

Do you know that meditation isa great way to replace the never-drying rivers of tears. A meditative state, calm and relaxed, allows you to achieve peace and clarity. During meditation, recovery occurs several times faster than even during sleep. And it doesn't matter that you haven't encountered this before - go study, fortunately, there are a great many such centers.

• Food

is also an important point in the treatment processdepression and dejection. You should always eat right. Only in the movies the main character, after another breakup, is saved by a ton of chocolate and a pound of marmalade. In life, it is better to give up spicy and sweet foods altogether if you want to quickly return to a normal state and forget about depression. All kinds of fruits and vegetables, mineral water and natural juices will help you and are simply necessary for a speedy recovery. But if you want to prolong the life of your neurosis, then continue to eat kilograms of cakes, washing it all down with red wine.

• spring-cleaning

Throw out all unnecessary things from your home, even things thatis in no way connected with your ex-man. You want to start a new life, right? So, you need to part with any reminders of her. By the way, ideally it would be nice to do some repairs and replace the furniture. Of course, if your financial capabilities allow it.

Goals and achievements

You need to recover from the loss and get busyyourself. Set a goal of returning to a new life - a life without him. Try to remember who you were before him, what occupied and excited you to a greater extent, what you would like to do and what dreams you postponed then. Today you have a rare and wonderful opportunity to show your personality, following your desires. Do not dream of revenge - such a reaction will not give you the desired relief, but will only stir up old wounds. It is worth understanding that a smart, strong and mature woman, a personality and individuality, is able to endure a breakup. And in general, it is enough to think about it and constantly cry! Remember all the insults that he inflicted on you during your relationship with him, all the prohibitions. Now put on a red short dress, which was always your favorite, and he forbade you to wear it, because he thought it vulgar. Call your best friend, with whom he forbade you to communicate, because he said that she was stupid. And go for a walk and have fun in a club or somewhere else. Be sure to go with your best friends, whom he was jealous of and forbade you to communicate with. Life is wonderful without him! It's even much better! So don't put it off and start your new and, most importantly, happy life! We recommend reading:

Comments

comments