How to make friends in a new city

No matter what the reasons arebased on moving to another city, this event, as a rule, becomes stressful in itself. Absolutely everything changes: you do not know the geography of new places, the established rules there, and you have absolutely no one to learn all this from. Life in a new city has to be literally learned on your own. And this only increases the difficulties that have fallen on your head. Therefore, if you want to make the process of moving and adaptation easier, you will have to make friends in the new city.

Territory of acquaintances

Naturally, the first thing that comes to mind in this regard iswith this problem - how do people meet each other? In childhood, everything was so simple: you approach the person you like and offer your friendship, and then friends appear by themselves. And when you are faced with the need to initiate this process yourself, it turns out to be a very difficult task. However, there are places that in themselves dispose people to easy and pleasant communication:

Interest clubs After all, you have something like this in your lifea business or activity that you like to devote time to? It could be cooking, singing in a choir, photography – anything, as long as you really like it! But it is not at all necessary to do your favorite activity alone – it is much more fun to find like-minded people. For example, if you like reading books – go to a library or a book cafe. In any case, try to find a place where people who are just as keen on this hobby as you can gather. When visiting it, do not rush to go home immediately after the activity – it is better to chat with like-minded people, because this is the easiest way to make friends.

Volunteering Have you ever done any?charity? If the answer is no, then it's time to start! Volunteering is not only a great way to make friends in a new city, but also a wonderful, soul-ennobling thing that can bring a lot of positive emotions. However, at the same time, it takes a lot of time and mental energy - you should be prepared for this. Find out where charitable organizations are located in the city, find the contact details of people involved in expanding the volunteer network. In addition, you can simply show up at the nearest charity event, where there are always a lot of people. You will find friends for yourself, and, perhaps, the work of your life.

Internet Even this article you are now sitting andread on the Internet. It is great that now people do not have any problems with finding information, because there is always a source that can be accessed at any time. The possibilities of the World Wide Web are truly limitless: through social networks and communities, you can keep in touch with old friends and try to make new ones, and forums and all sorts of communities of interest open up a huge scope for your imagination. You can simply go to the largest forum of your new city and see what kind of people live there.

Cafes and restaurants It would seem that in a new cityIt's much easier to order takeout or just have lunch at home. But don't rush to become a recluse! Start a tradition of going out for lunch or dinner at least once a week. Of course, at first it may seem awkward, but in fact, when you are alone, it is much easier to approach you and get to know you. The evening will be pleasant and easy if you take an interesting book from home - it is better in paper form, because in this case it can become a worthy topic of conversation. The same, but with some changes, applies to bars, clubs and parks - you immediately want to involve a lonely person in your social circle.

Photography It's not so much a place asan activity that greatly contributes to expanding the network of contacts. Agree, almost everyone loves to take pictures and then look at their own photos. That is why, having learned to take good pictures, you can always approach any stranger and ask them to become the object of your creativity. Thus, photographing people is a great way to entertain yourself, get to know a new city, and at the same time make friends.

How to start a conversation?

We've sorted out the locations, and here's your viewfalls on the person you would like to get to know. But here you are faced with a difficulty: how to start a conversation with someone you don’t know at all? Don’t be surprised, but it’s quite simple if you know how to do it. The most important thing is to choose people who are open and ready to talk. You will not have any problems with getting to know them, because they are just as interested in communication as you are. This is usually indicated by a smile and a look directed in your direction, and a relaxed posture. You can respond to these signs non-verbally - and that’s it, contact is established. But what about verbals? There are several options for a topic of conversation, and, by and large, they can be divided into three groups:

Situation;
The interlocutor;
I myself;

Regardless of the topic, your main goal should bethere is a desire to interest the interlocutor. Therefore, you can start a conversation by stating a fact, expressing an opinion or asking a question. It is better to start with the latter, since a question always has more energy than anything else. Although expressing an opinion also stimulates conversation well - the partner is involved in contact, and it is much more difficult for him to remain passive. Of course, the easiest and most convenient way to start a conversation is to discuss the situation or circumstances in which you find yourself with your partner. It practically does not require special knowledge about the person opposite, so it can be used to contact a stranger. In addition, this topic practically does not provoke anxiety in the interlocutor and is much more involved in the conversation than talking about yourself. In order to start a conversation about a situation, look around carefully. It is best to find something interesting and surprising. This can be an object that the interlocutor will be happy to talk about, or a phenomenon that is important and evokes emotions in most people. Listen carefully to your partner responding to your remark. Oddly enough, you can talk about anything, for example, in a store you can ask a customer buying some unusual product what can be made from it. Dale Carnegie also noted that people like to talk about themselves more than anything else. That is why, if you ask your interlocutor a question about himself, he will most likely answer you with pleasure. However, before starting a conversation, we recommend that you observe the person you are interested in for a while - perhaps his appearance, habits and tastes will tell you a little about himself, and it will be easier for you to start a conversation. Talking about yourself, especially in the presence of a withdrawn person, has little chance of continuing. Usually, this is much more relevant for those cases when you have already interested the interlocutor in something and he wants to get to know you better. However, if you are the proud owner of unique and bright facts in your biography, then perhaps your case will be an exception. Otherwise, there is no point in talking a lot and persistently about yourself if no one asks you.

Psychology of communication

Find interesting people and meet themyou can do it. It doesn't require any special efforts, and after some time it will become something like an automatic skill, and your social circle will expand significantly. You can speed up this process by implementing the psychological recommendations described below:

Be prepared for new meetings.According to the laws of positive thinking, the Universe always gives us what we are tuned to. Therefore, smile more often, remain open and responsive, and also friendly. And then there are people who walk around with such a face, which not only does not suggest acquaintance - on the contrary, there is fear for your life and a desire to get away from such a person.

Don't be shy about advertising that you're in this city.newbie. Many people, having moved to a new city, for some reason begin to feel embarrassed by this situation, although in fact there is nothing bad or shameful about it. This can be very inconvenient for them, especially in the stupidest cases when you need to ask for your stop or directions to the metro. Therefore, it is worth asking for help from someone you trust and tell them that you are alone in the new city and would be glad to meet new people. You can “open up” to colleagues or partners in the fitness club - people like to help others, and perhaps they will be happy to tell you where it is better to spend the weekend and how you can pay your bills.

Be proactive.Of course, you shouldn't bombard new acquaintances with calls and emails - that's usually scary. However, it's perfectly appropriate to ask them to give you a tour of the city, invite you to join them for a coffee, or even offer to help them with something you consider yourself competent in.

Try to formulate it clearly for yourself, people.what type you are interested in and what you want from them. A shopping partner, a club partner, a friend who shares your hobby, a shoulder to cry on - this greatly affects the tactics and method of finding new friends. Then you will not waste your time or someone else's time, and it will be easier for you to weed out the "wrong" people.

Remember that there is no single scheme.to make friends in a new city. Despite the long existence of the science of psychology, the field of human relations still defies complete confinement within strict frameworks. That is why you should relax and simply enjoy the process of communication. We recommend reading: