The eternal question of fathers and children

Sometimes it is very funny to watch fromfor people of advanced age. Grandmother, "flaunting in new clothes", clearly prematurely her grandchildren, is tender. Even more funny look eighty-year-old grandfather, communicating with his out-of-town grandsons and great-grandsons on "Skype". The same "cool" old people can become our family and friends, if we find for them quite a bit of free time and will engage in their "upbringing." To brighten up loneliness for our elderly ancestors is in our power. The main thing - there would be a desire! The first rule is to forgive parents for their imperfection and begin to respect their old age. Perhaps our parents have never been "perfect" for us, but believe me, they tried to become them. So do not waste your time looking for and learning their mistakes and mistakes. After all, no one at any age does not want to justify himself and explain himself every day, as well as listen to remarks and instructions. Regardless of who is raising whom (we are parents, or they are us), never forget that respect is first of all! Therefore, cries, insults, orders, hysterics and pressure in the family circle are simply unacceptable. Each of us needs to learn how to respect them. Then they will respect us. The second rule is that we accept the situation as it is. If we are unable to change the situation, we need to change our attitude to it. After all, it depends on us how old our parents will become: cheerful and sweet creatives or evil and tyrannical bores. However, in order to "get" good parents, we must become good children ourselves. The third rule is to become good children. We learn to listen, hear and understand our parents, no matter how archaic our advice would not seem to us. After all, our lovely and loving old people like no one else wants us to be good. Each parent wants their child to be more talented, successful and happier. As a rule, we can not doubt their sincerity. Do not take offense at the parents for their desire to protect us from all sorts of hardships. After all, the transfer of life experience is the most important task for our parents. Therefore, it makes sense to listen to their advice. Perhaps, something really can be valuable for us. The fourth rule is that we must learn to solve our problems on our own. Agree, it is very convenient for us to accept help from our parents. However, if we want to be adults and free, we need to learn how to solve our own problems. Therefore, we have a choice. That for each of us is more expensive: personal freedom or guardianship of parents, it's up to us. Want to get rid of excessive care? So, it's time to stop letting parents control, teach and serve us. The fifth rule is that we set ourselves up for a serious conversation with the "ancestors". Sincerely we thank our parents for everything that they taught us in life: to fry eggs, to make the bed, to respect the elders and similar "golden rules". The sixth rule is that we get courage and explain to them that their child has grown up and does not need their care anymore. From today, we have an adult life. And whether they want it or not, from this day on, all the relatives should respect our choice and keep the distance. The seventh rule will be convincing, proving our point of view. In everything, we will be judicious and logical. Without failing to shout, we will explain everything intelligibly to them, we are very grateful that "they lived for us, did not regret anything, put their health to raise us decent people ...". We close this topic once and for all. The eighth rule - "living your mind", we will do everything possible and impossible, so as not to injure the heart of their parents. We will try to protect the most native people from unnecessary worries and unnecessary problems. However, as far as the parents themselves are concerned, we will be extremely sincere and will not do anything before their eyes that could harm our health. The ninth rule - freeing parents from custody of themselves, will not allow them to feel lonely. With such difficulty having escaped to freedom, we will definitely move away from them. Only by filling their released time with something interesting, our departure from the family will not be regarded as a betrayal. After all, while they were studying with us at school, they ran to the training sessions, sections and circles, they were busy getting the daily bread, they did not notice how the world around them changed. Therefore, they are not used to rest at all, and now that we have grown up, and they finally have a lot of free time, they do not know what to do with it. In order not to make you feel lonely and useless to the old, you need to involve them in the world of your interests. Once they formed our tastes, now it's our turn to give back debts. We will talk with them about their interests and hobbies. If our parents have been "judged" by our success and education before, now everything will be judged with accuracy, on the contrary - about the modernity and "advancement" of our old people. The tenth rule is to extend the boundaries of their knowledge of the modern world. We will tear them away from the usual TV programs, teach parents how to use the computer and carry them with the wonders of new technologies. We will regularly be interested in their deeds and desires, respond to their rare requests. We will become their best friends and advisers. With an "easy heart" we will trust them with our children, we will appreciate what we have. What happiness, that they have, give us a sense of confidence and security, worry and pray for us, and at any moment are ready to accept us as we are. And what happiness it is to have energetic, amazingly alive and enthusiastic old people who are ready at any moment to come to our aid, to become our reliable support and support. All in our hands! You just want to and everything will turn out! We advise you to read: