Despite the bad weather, the calendar has long beenSpring. Each girl, thinking about this period, dreams of one thing - a great and beautiful love. But she somehow does not come. And now millions of girls miss, not knowing how to get rid of loneliness. If you are one of them, then perhaps for you, our article will become the key, opening the door to a new happy life.
Loneliness: a variety of interpretations
The phenomenon of loneliness is discussed by people from thosethe very times when they began to be interested in the question of the human soul and personality. For someone, it is embodied in the absence of a life partner, someone considers single people who have few friends, and other people under loneliness understand a special state of mind that does not depend on the intensity of contacts with others. What do psychologists think about this? The followers of the great Sigmund Freud suggest that we distinguish between concepts such as solitude and loneliness. In the first case, it is a normal "mindset" arising from the absence of someone in our environment. Loneliness, however, is a permanent insurmountable state associated with the presence in the character of egocentrism, narcissism and hostility. The roots of this, as a rule, are in a deep childhood, when the child has a great need for closeness with parents, which for one reason or another is not satisfied. Psychologists, who consider each person to be unique and unique, consider those people who are in the world without their usual psychological protection to be lonely. For example, a person has been angry with others all his life, and because of this he has no friends left at all. He understood this and abandoned his habitual manner of behavior, along with this being in a very vulnerable position. It seems to him that he is not worthy of love and good relations with others. It is the fear that now it will hurt, makes the experience of loneliness so acute. It is believed that there is no universal definition of loneliness. Everyone lives this state differently, and no one can do it for another. At the same time, for most people, the feeling of loneliness has some common features, for example, totality, integrity and all-embracing. It is completely immersed in itself. It is through this that you acquire some new knowledge about your own soul. You can not get them otherwise if you are constantly in contact with someone. In today's world, people often feel lonely. The large spaces of megacities, it would seem, should hinder this - but no! On the contrary, being in a crowd, a person feels loneliness more and more often. Sociologists associate this with the weakening of ties in various groups, such as a family or neighbors in the home. If earlier we knew almost everything about those who are next to us, then now do not hear "hello" from the passing acquaintance - it's not that rare. We used to be in our own apartments, like in shells, without seeing or knowing anyone around and not needing to communicate with them.
10 most common causes of loneliness
The feeling of loneliness is directly related to ouremotional state. In the end, what prevents a person from enjoying the freedom that he has, enjoying independence and his own happiness? But it does not work for everyone. Often we come across our own nervousness, sadness and irritation to the whole world. This is especially true for women who do not have a beloved man. Before you understand how to get rid of feelings of loneliness, you need to understand the reasons that cause it.
Do not be lonely - it's easy!
More precisely, not quite so - absolutely every personis able to understand for himself how to get rid of loneliness. In any case, you have to change something in life, since the original version of it already led you to dissatisfaction. The fear of loneliness can significantly increase the severity and depth of immediate experiences. Think about how much resources it takes! Own seclusion from society immediately seems many times worse and worse than it really is. And you can not get any pleasure from privacy. Accordingly, first of all it is necessary to understand how to get rid of the fear of loneliness. To do this, think what it means to you in general, and develop the logical chain to the end. For example, loneliness is when there is no one in his old age to bring a glass of water, that is, somehow help. Or loneliness means that you are an inferior woman, since no one wants to marry you. All these ideas will help you understand what you are afraid of alone and, possibly, some of them seem absurd to you. Next, you need to deal with the old grievances that prevent you from communicating with people. It sounds, of course, a little strange, but certainly they are in your life. Even if you tried to forget them, they could hide deep in your soul and harm your life from there. To assess this, analyze what is your main problem in dealing with people. Formulate it and think, was not there a long time ago a situation in which this problem would have occurred for the first time and which would have greatly injured you? If you can recall something like this, then there is a high probability of psychological transfer, which predetermines your perception of other people. Simply put, instead of being with a real person in a real relationship, you begin to think and see in communication with him something bad, after which the contact breaks down. Or you start acting as if you are trying to resist the offender from the past. What to do about it? Good question. First of all, it is necessary to allow yourself to worry because of a traumatic situation. Our feelings are often hampered by all sorts of social attitudes such as "nothing to suffer because of any nonsense" or "pobozhalas, and enough - it's time to forget everything and go on." Because of this, you do not live the situation to the end, do not let go of it. Next, try to imagine a person with whom you have traumatic experiences, sitting opposite you on an empty chair. Carefully examine his face, pay attention to gestures and pose. What would you like to tell him? If there is a stupor in your head, try to remember the time when you suffered from it, and tell him a little about your feelings. Most likely, the language will be untied. Tell the empty chair all those thoughts that have been scrolling in your head for years in the inner dialogue. You can even yell, break a plate or attack a pillow. Well, if you have the opportunity to express your emotions to a person in reality, use it - and be surprised at how much your life will change after a while. After a week after the previous exercise, start using techniques of positive thinking. As you know, the Universe responds to our messages in relation to it. Accordingly, you need to tune in to what will be all right. Every day, repeat to yourself several times the following things:
- There are a lot of interesting people around me;
- I am full of kindness towards people;
- It is easy for me to get acquainted with pleasant people;
- When I talk with another person, I experience warmth and joy;
- I feel self-confidence;
- I am full of strength and energy for communication;
- I'm ready to love and be loved;
However, in order not to be unfounded, usestrategic planning: where, when and how you will communicate with people. If it concerns friends and acquaintances, allocate time for the organization of a thematic party. If it is a question of communicating with men, then think carefully about where it is easiest to "pick up" the subject you are interested in. Maintain your appearance in perfect condition: go to the gym, do your hair and manicure, wear beautiful clothes. Make a list of qualities and manners that men like, and try to get used to the image. Just do not forget that it must be authentic to you, that is, you should be comfortable inside it. It can be your opposite, but only if it causes you interest, not disgust and a desire to escape. Remember that happiness in dealing with people around you depends almost entirely on your inner state. You need to take responsibility for what is happening to you. It is useless to complain that you have nothing with anyone, and neighbor Masha is tired of fighting off the fans. Most likely, it is sincere and active in its manifestations, and not fenced off from the whole world by a wall of loneliness. You just want to - and you will go beyond it and be happy in the environment of the people closest and most pleasant to you. We advise you to read: