He was late at work again.In the evening, someone called him, and he went to talk in the kitchen. He is going to a corporate party again and does not take me with him... Maybe he has another woman, and at that very moment he is with her? A familiar situation? Many women suffer from such torments every day, breaking their hearts. Sometimes it is justified, but more often than not they just wind themselves up over trifles, ruining the nerves of both themselves and their spouse. How to learn to trust your loved one? After all, you love him and you know for sure that this is mutual. But the black snake of jealousy squeezes your heart, not allowing you to breathe, live, sleep calmly. Most often, women themselves look for reasons for jealousy. Of course, there are men who deserve suspicion, but we are not talking about them now. Today we will talk about how to get rid of jealousy that is unfounded and far-fetched by the woman herself.
How is it for men with jealous wives?
Most husbands try their bestto meet all our requirements, afraid to deviate from them even one step. Otherwise, you can forget about a quiet evening with your family. Wives do not even think about how to get rid of jealousy, they rush to make a scandal and accuse their husband of all conceivable and inconceivable sins. What kind of ease of relations and joy in the house can we talk about if one of the spouses is tensely peering into the face of the other, looking for signs of betrayal, and the second is in constant tension from the expectation of an undeserved showdown? This will give anyone's nerves. Most men, driven "to the point" by jealous wives, decide to actually start a relationship on the side. Firstly, so that if they receive at home, then deservedly, and secondly, to relax at least for a short time in the company of a calm, balanced woman. But such an affair can end with your husband finally choosing the other side, and will remember you as a nightmare. Rest assured that your rival will try to provide your husband (still husband) with warmth, peace and joy as much as possible. After all, he will probably share his domestic problems with her, and it is not difficult to guess that he will try not to repeat your mistakes. Perhaps, at first, husbands experience pangs of conscience, spending time with their girlfriends. But when they come home and, having received another portion of scandal, they calm down and understand that they did the right thing. Here, the principle of "out of spite" often operates - men rarely tolerate ultimatums. So what happens, jealous wives are ready to give their happiness into the hands of others with their own hands? Not only do women themselves experience hellish torment, tormented by eternal doubts, but they can also lose their family. Well, the jealous pays twice. A vicious circle? No. You can get rid of jealousy - this problem is quite solvable.
Examples from life
To get rid of jealousy towards your husband, you need todetermine the reason for the negative attitude. Is it because of your low self-esteem, or are you simply a possessive usurper who does not allow your husband to belong to anyone but you? Low self-esteem is, first of all, lack of confidence in yourself and your own abilities. We would like to present several real-life examples of women who suffered from these problems. Olga, 27, a housewife. She was the only, long-awaited child in the family. She was pampered and cherished, spoiled from childhood. Her parents cared about her so much that they protected her from any, even the smallest problems. If she had conflicts at school, they themselves went to sort things out with the children, if they gave a difficult task in class - they did it in turns. She was used to relying on adults and never learned to make decisions on her own. The feeling of helplessness simply haunted her. After getting married, she could not look at her competitors without fear, tormented her husband with reproaches and complained to her parents, who always took her side. As a result, her husband could not stand the family quarrels and filed for divorce. What is the moral of this fable? It is that until a woman becomes independent, confident in her abilities, she will never get rid of the feeling that she is worse than others. There will always be someone who is more beautiful, smarter, sexier than her. But her husband chose her, and not another, which means that she was the best for him. And was it worth it to torment herself and her loved one with scandals in vain? Another example. Vika, 19, a student. She grew up in a prosperous family, but since childhood she was left to her own devices. Her parents were too busy with their own problems to pay attention to her. She became independent very early, at 15 she began working part-time as a sales consultant, at 17 she entered a prestigious university on her own. Soon she met a young man and moved in with him. Having fallen in love with him with all her heart, she could not believe that she could be loved sincerely, strongly, just like that. She saw a catch in every gesture and word, perceived any delay at work as betrayal. Her jealousy crossed all boundaries - she checked his pockets, followed him at work, demanded hourly calls. The guy left for another - he just got rid of the pestering. Women like Vika cannot get rid of jealousy, believing that a man will find someone who is more worthy of love. If this is your personality type, you just need to love yourself, raise your self-esteem. Whether you are going to work, cooking dinner, taking a shower - repeat like a spell: "I love myself." And if you think that this exercise is nonsense, then you are deeply wrong. Making yourself believe that you are the only one, extraordinary and unique is the best way to raise your self-esteem.
Why we are jealous and what we are afraid of
But not all women experience this feelingjealousy only because of low self-esteem. Many wives are used to treating their men as personal property, as a thing that has no right to belong to anyone else. These relationships often resemble a commercial transaction, where the husband is a commodity, and the marriage certificate is an invoice that guarantees complete inviolability. Such women sometimes simply confuse love with a primitive possessive instinct. About 20% of families are destroyed because one of the spouses could not cultivate a sense of proportion. The main reason for such behavior is fear. Fear of losing a husband, being alone. And this happens from self-doubt, from the inattention of others, from the desire to be loved. Tormented by eternal fear, women do not understand how to get rid of the feeling of jealousy, and they squeeze their spouses ever tighter with the pincers of strict control. Other women despotically limit their husbands, seeing them as their own children. “Tell me quickly where you have been! Try not to come back before eight! Who are you dressed up for?! " The poor guy can only raise his eyes to heaven and pray for mercy. This is just an unclaimed maternal instinct. Having given birth to a child, most of these women calm down and transfer their possessive feelings to their children. But such women make unbearable mothers-in-law, they will take it out on those who dared to “appropriate” their child for a long time. The last reason for a woman’s sense of ownership is boredom. Yes, yes, banal boredom. If a woman finds life insipid and boring, then putting her husband on a short leash seems like a great entertainment to her. In this way, a woman raises herself in her own eyes, boasts to her girlfriends on the phone that “he doesn’t dare take a step without me.” Although, what kind of love can we talk about here, in principle? Here everything is even more complicated than in the above cases. Such a wife never loved her husband, she needed him in order to assert herself. She got him - she has nothing else to do, she is bored. In families where life is built on despotism and constant control, there is no calm. There is always a storm raging. And this is not jealousy at all - it is just an excuse to show your superiority. In fact, a woman does not care where and with whom her faithful is. It is impossible to help a guy in such a situation, he needs to set all the priorities himself, leave and forget everything, like a bad dream. Perhaps, not a single family has managed to avoid jealousy. But it is one thing when a woman is simply worried about her husband's feelings, and such an attitude only flatters the spouse. Another thing is when husbands no longer want to go home, fearing another quarrel. Control your feelings, learn to love yourself and your chosen one, and then your union will never fall apart. We recommend reading:
