Ask any person who started the novel onwork, why he needs it and how he, in fact, managed to make an affair in such an unsuitable place for this. We are sure that in nine cases out of ten you will hear such an answer: "It just happened ..." While psychologists can not agree on why people decide on intrigues and infidelities (after all, people at home are fond of novels at work , at least one of the couple is not free), experts agree that this is still not accidental. At some point, at some level, the choice was made consciously. Agree, if you enter into a romantic relationship with someone, then you must first decide that you will do it. No one could make you! And you hesitated (before taking such a decision) for a reason. You should have understood perfectly well that in the event that the hidden one becomes obvious, many troubles await you - gossip and condemnation from employees, criticism from the authorities, problems in your own family. And, if you have not yet made a rash step, we want to persuade you to be cautious and not to have any unofficial relations in the office. Perhaps, you did not even think of anything like that, but you feel that some of the male employees are showing you increased attention, which clearly goes beyond his official duties. How to behave in this case? How to keep from temptations?

How to prevent unnecessary relationships in the office

Try to adhere to the following ten rules of your behavior in the workplace:

Never go for emotional rapprochement withcolleague of the opposite sex, especially if you or your colleague - people family Infidelity can insidiously get into even the most lasting partnership. Even if you did not allow yourself anything concrete, you just felt that you were not completely indifferent to your employee - it's worth to sound the alarm! Psychologists who conducted a survey among six and a half thousand women, found that 92% of them believe: betrayal is already on an emotional level, even when physical rapprochement has not happened yet. And only 8% of the women surveyed believed that they did not change their husbands, feeling sympathy for another man.

Keep all friendly relations outside the office wallsSince all the novels that are tied up in the office start with a simple emotional attachment, we want to warn you that even the most harmless friendship at work has sufficient potential to turn into something more.

N never drink alcohol in the company of employeesDrinking alcohol during or after a work day with a colleague of the opposite sex is one of the fastest ways to start relationships at work, because alcohol leads to a decrease in your control over yourself and removes all prohibitions. Even if you just drink a cocktail or a glass of wine during a business lunch, this can lead to more intimate conversations and your inadequate behavior.

Precisely because you are a woman, you should beespecially prudent. Most likely, you do not even think of any novels at work; But this does not mean that one of your male colleagues does not dream of romance with you. Men deliberately try to keep as close as possible to attractive women, try to invite them to have lunch together, etc. - precisely because they want to find an opportunity to meet with them. Try to avoid situations that can contribute to the emergence of emotional bonds.

Do not schedule appointments outside the office ifit is assumed that you will remain alone with a representative of the opposite sex. If you are serious about your reputation, then always take with you, for example, someone from your girlfriends, if there is a need to see someone from male employees outside the office. Try to plan all your meetings so that they are group, because it helps to reduce the proximity factor.

While in the office, never forget: it's work, nothing personal can not be here. The office is for business, not for gossip or romantic adventures. Do not allow any flirting, do not wear clothes that are too open, try to look and act like a professional, and not as a flirtatious young lady.

If you, not looking at all your efforts to behaveby all the rules, yet you are attracted to your colleague, try to think about your situation soberly. What can turn your secret romance at work? What troubles threatens to expose? What do you lack in your own marriage? Unrest? Deep emotional connection? If so, then analyze your marriage and find out why it happened that you lack something. If this is not done, the most unpleasant thing can happen: you will fall in love with the ears of your new chosen one, but there is no guarantee that he is ready to change your whole life for you! He, as it often happens, will say goodbye, but you can lose everything - and a new love, and family, and even work.

You should be aware that the man whowants to have a connection with you, most likely, this is not how you are. Unfortunately, it's only for us, women, an emotional connection is important when we enter into an intimate relationship. But men who beat their cute collaborators to numerous novels at work (you can be sure that your chosen one is the first and only novel in the workplace?), In most cases they are only looking for sex, and nothing more. What will they not say to persuade you to put your soul and body at his disposal? But you must understand that you do not always have to take it seriously.

Keep your emotional boundaries closedspace Do not share too much personal information with colleagues of the opposite sex in your office, no matter how friendly or seemingly your attitude to your person. All intimate details should remain only between you and your partner. Do not forget that in women emotional infidelity too often leads to physical treason! If the conversation with the employee becomes too intimate, try to politely send the conversation to another channel related to professional problems. Build barriers when you feel that a man is trying to approach you.

Work on your relationship with your spouse.no matter how tempting you seemed to be a novel at work, you can pay for this hobby too high a price; so avoiding it would be the best option. So get out of the "cloud" of your hormones, which cloud your brain, and stop thinking only of yourself. Remember that you have a family, beloved husband, and do not throw yourself and him into emotional stress and suffering.

How to hide a novel at work

When people spend in one office at leastsix to seven hours a day, do not have to be surprised at work novels, which from time to time break out between employees. You can think that your emotions can be restrained, but love never asks for permission, and the novel can flare up unexpectedly. That is why novels in the workplace are not so rare. But the leadership, if it gets information about such cases, is usually very displeased with such a turn of events, because it believes that these relations interfere with the productivity of labor. What can you do if you also had to become one of those whom love in the office overtook? Here are some tips to help you keep your novel secret:

• Always behave professionally in the workplaceplace Try not to touch each other, do not linger around without business, to conduct intimate conversations, and leave a flirt for a more suitable place. Romance is the last thing that should take your thoughts at work. Therefore, always remember: even if you know what kind of underwear is wearing your chosen one, this does not mean that in the office you can behave like close people, and not as employees.
• If your passion does not let you stay awayfrom each other throughout the day, then plan your meetings so as not to be caught off guard. You do not want anyone to see you kissing somewhere behind a safe or a cabinet with working folders? If you want to talk right now, then choose a place somewhere on an empty staircase. And appoint a meeting outside of working hours, choose a place away from work. Keep in mind that it is better to get there separately, because nothing will cause suspicion of your colleagues more than if you go somewhere out of the office together.
• Do not forget what is called, cover up the traces of Notleave no evidence of your romantic relationship with a colleague. It can be anything - from not deleted emails to traces of your lipstick on his shirt. By the way, refuse to send letters to each other from business computers, since it's only a matter of time when one of you accidentally does not send a personal message to the wrong address.
• Ignore gossip. It may happen thatsomeone really is suspicious about your novel. In no case do not begin to excuse or deny the rumors. It's better to show with your whole appearance that this topic is not even worth mentioning, not exactly the same dresses that two employees from the neighboring department bought.

How to finish an affair with a colleague

You already know that a romantic relationship witha colleague can have serious consequences for your career and emotional well-being, and the more difficult it is if one or both of you have a family. And if you decide to stop the risky connection, then we will show you how to do it in such a way as to minimize possible damage:

• Understand that the cessation of those who provoke infidelityRelationships are the best that you can do. You can feel a deep emotional connection with your colleague, but do not put your family at risk.
• Try to distance yourself from your partner in the novel. Stop calling him affectionate names and nicknames, try to have your routes in the office intersected as rarely as possible.
• Agree to meet with a colleague at work inA quiet environment where no one will disturb you. Explain to him that you want to end your relationship, because you do not want to destroy families and hurt your close people. Also tell him that you must stop all relationships, except workers, even friends. You should clearly dot the i's.
• Delete his number from the phone and delete all contacts from social networks. It is very important to no longer have any connection with him.
• In the most extreme case, it is even necessary to change the place of work. Especially if your romance is still made public and this can seriously threaten your reputation.

There are not many situations that couldcomplicate your life more than infidelity in marriage and a novel at work. It can be very difficult - to end treason, especially if it happened with a colleague at work, where you spend more time than at home. Nevertheless, this is what you must do if you want to preserve your family and your good name.

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