It's so nice when someone tells youwarm words, and even emphasizing those aspects that are important to you! For sure, every woman at least once in my life heard compliments to her address. But not everyone can adequately respond to them. How to respond to a compliment so that the speaker is good, and you are pleased? Good question, and we will try to find the answer to it. 
Types of compliments
There are a huge number of compliments, andthe reaction to them can vary greatly depending on the species. First, they can be sincere and not very much. As a rule, in the latter case you have some unpleasant aftertaste, after you have heard praise. In everyday life, we call it flattery. Usually behind it there is any hidden goal, which is almost always felt in communication. Pleasant words can be spoken from different positions: on equal footing, from above and from below. A man who makes a woman a compliment in the latter version, nothing shines. We are not interested in those who feel themselves a step below. Praise from above looks like a gift from the powerful world and usually causes only irritation and aggression. And only a compliment made on an equal footing, worthy of a positive and sincere reaction. Sometimes it's hard for a guy to give you a direct compliment, so he's on a detour. For example, instead of "you look great," he says: "Every passer-by turns around!". You can hear the anger in this, and it is logical, because he experiences because of his own self-doubt. There is still such a subspecies as hidden compliments. It is not always appropriate to tell a person pleasant things directly - in this case, the atmosphere of intimacy and trust in relationships is created through indirect methods: interested questions, sincere remarks and natural reactions to the conversation. Especially often we come across this at the beginning of a relationship, when a guy and a girl are a little awkward and, at the same time, nice to lead such a delicate game.
Wrong reactions
Before talking about how to properlyto respond to praise, it is necessary to understand the peculiarities of our negative reactions. Some girls throw in the paint from embarrassment, others try to turn into invisibility. One way or another, you can react differently to compliments, but you want to save you from the most common mistakes:
- Objection Very many girls, after hearing the praisein their address, immediately begin to argue with her: "There is nothing special in this!" or "So of itself it happened!". Behind this is the desire to belittle yourself and your dignity, which, at least, looks rather strange and causes awkwardness in the one who says a compliment.
- Justification The girl instantly has a desirejustify themselves for something good. Often she starts telling useless details about why some of her features are admirable. For example: "Oh, I bought this dress in the second hand for a few pennies."
- Ignoring Some women in generalprefer not to answer a man for a compliment, pretending that nothing happened. But in fact, it makes sense to do it only when a person is deeply unpleasant to you, and you generally do not want to talk to him. Otherwise, the lack of reaction hurts even more than its presence in any form.
- Neglect Agree, this is very unpleasant,when you praised a man, and he makes a face a brick and all his appearance shows indifference. There is a feeling that you have given something away, which nobody needs, and disappointment with resentment becomes a natural result.
- Excessive enthusiasm This is another extreme,which should be avoided. There is a category of girls who, after hearing a few flattering words in their address, are ready to do everything for the sake of the speaker of their person. But it's not right! Normally, if someone compliments you, he just wants to give you joy, and he does not need anything from you. And if you lose your head and start to "swim", then become very vulnerable and available for manipulation.
The reasons for incorrect responses to compliments
Virtually nothing in the world happens by accident. At the heart of all the above reactions are any reasons that, as a rule, are related to personal problems. It's possible that it's not about you - to exclude it, think about what compliments cause you to send the speaker to far away. If this list includes only a few people with their words, then it's worth thinking about communicating with them. Well, in the case when you can not accept praise at all, it is worthwhile to look for the cause in yourself. Most often, it turns out to be a low self-esteem. You have a steadfast certainty that you can not sincerely admire. Accordingly, any praise is perceived as a mockery and causes an incorrect reaction. Usually the roots of this problem are to be looked for in childhood, when parents and other important adults praise little the child, who is still small, and all his ideas about himself depend on the assessments of others. Therefore, already being an adult, you perceive any compliments with disbelief, and it seems to you that you are being deceived. The only way out is to love yourself. By the way, this will have a positive impact on all areas of your life. From low self-esteem quite logically follows the feeling of awkwardness experienced by a person who heard himself as if undeserved praise. Sometimes, in particularly neglected cases, it even transforms into a sense of guilt, because it seems to you that you are deceiving others, and they have illusions about your account. On the contrary, another category of people has an overestimated self-esteem. It seems to them that the achievement that people pay attention to is a trifle, and they are capable of more. Some even manage to take offense at the praise, saying something like: "Do you think that this is the maximum of what I can do ?!". If compliments cause these or similar feelings in you, then obviously it's time to think about correction of self-esteem. It also happens that it seems to us, as if compliments us to something oblige. If you are praised, then a person needs to give something in return: reciprocal praise, his warm attitude or even any kind of service. Usually the whole fault of the installation, since childhood or adolescence, is in the subconscious - "one has to pay for everything in life" or "free cheese is only in a mousetrap." You can, of course, banally reply with a compliment to a compliment, but chances are that it will not look beautiful and natural. Much better if you work with these settings, for example, by compiling a list of good "free" things and convincing yourself about the irrationality of the penetration of commodity-money relations into all spheres of life. Finally, the last reason why we do not know how to respond to a compliment correctly is because of suspicion. You decide that a person tries to manipulate you with praise. Simply put, flatter you, exaggerating or even inventing nonexistent dignities and achievements. Unfortunately, in some cases this may be true, and then your intuition should be put a monument. However, if you are in every praise strive to catch a similar trick, it's worth thinking about. Most likely, it's all about negative attitudes about people or the world as a whole, for example, "a man from a woman can only need one thing" or "the world is full of evil." Naturally, such ideas simply will not let you be happy, and you need to get rid of them - sometimes with the help of a psychologist. 
Action plan
So, someone complimented you. Perhaps this is a man who has long sympathized with you or is the boss, pleasantly pleased with the annual report - it does not matter. You should drop all of the above obstacles and irrational settings in order to correctly respond to praise. And we will tell you how to do it.
In order to correctly respond to anycompliments you just need to realize one simple thing: you have every right to take them from the surrounding people. Speaking them, they do it sincerely and with a pure heart, wanting to deliver you joy or improve your mood. You have the right to rejoice that you or others like your actions. Well, in order to hear pleasant words in your address more often, you just need to say more compliments, and they will surely return to you a pleasant hundredfold.
