How to stop envying people?

There were two terminally ill patients in the hospital.person. One of them was lying by the window, and the other had a button to call a nurse. The first always told his neighbor in misfortune about everything that was happening in the real world: fluffy white snow was falling, summer rain was dripping, disheveled sparrows were fighting, an expensive car was driving by, a girl in a light dress was running. But one day, the patient who was lying by the window felt ill at night. He begged his friend to call a nurse, but for some reason he did not. And the patient died. The next morning, a new patient was brought into the ward, and the old-timer asked to be transferred to the bed by the window. When his request was fulfilled, he saw outside the window ... only a blank hospital wall. Then he turned to the newcomer and asked: "If I suddenly feel ill at night, do not call the nurse!" (Parable about envy) "Envy is annoyance at someone else's good or benefit; "not wishing good for another, but only for oneself" (Dal's explanatory dictionary). Are there any of us in whose hearts the cold, unpleasant feeling of envy has never stirred? Have we ever committed rash acts, guided by a feeling of resentment towards a more fortunate person? Have we ever looked with narrowed eyes at a friend's cute guy, or worried about a colleague's promotion at work? And all this time we convinced ourselves that life is unfair: after all, some are luckier than others. Is this really so, or is it time to think about how to stop feeling envy towards those who are "faster, higher, stronger"?

Black and white envy

Someone very clever came up with the idea of sharing the feelingenvy into two colors: black and white. Supposedly it is quite possible to envy without causing inconvenience to yourself or other people. It turns out that white envy is just joy for your neighbor, for his successes and achievements? Then why not call this quality a "virtue"? Let's say your friend got into a prestigious university on the first try, and you can't get in even on the third try. Your congratulations, admiration for her intelligence, luck - is all this sincere, "in the white"? Try to honestly look deep into yourself at this moment: is there in your heart, in addition to joy, also annoyance that your friend is smarter, luckier, more agile? If you are completely frank with yourself, you will discern unpleasant emotions. It is not at all necessary to wish for the "immediate death" of the unfortunate lucky guy for your feeling to be called envy. After all, no matter what color you call it - white, black, purple - it hurts you and ruins relationships with people. Don't deceive yourself by calming your conscience by saying that you are jealous in a white way. In any case, your feelings are destructive. And it all starts with an innocent comparison of yourself with other people. Someone has a bigger apartment, someone has slimmer legs, and a third one even married a millionaire. A feeling of annoyance, hostility, and even just humiliation from the awareness of "one's own insignificance" arises. And what's interesting is that we compare ourselves with people from our social circle. Few beggars on the street would have the idea to truly envy the owner of a tea factory. Her feelings are more likely to be stirred by a couple of large bills in the hands of a lucky neighbor on the porch. Which, however, is quite natural - of course, it doesn't hurt to dream. But dreams have nothing to do with envy. We are the same way – we envy what is realistically achievable, we burn our souls with thoughts about:

Get yourself at least the same good (in the future - much more!);
The more lucky rival, the object of our envy disappeared.

And what's the point of discussing the fact that suchIs envy "white"? In any case, you want to have what others have and what you don't have. Often people don't even think about how much effort and effort it takes for lucky people to achieve something in life. And so, lying on the couch, the unfortunate ones are terribly envious of others' successes and curse their failure, getting angry at those around them. But you only have to get up off your butt and start acting, and previously unattainable heights will be at your very feet! And envious people in most cases, if they started acting, can achieve no less.

Envy - a mortal sin or the engine of progress?

As a rule, when you catch yourself feeling envious,a person most often begins to suffer from pangs of conscience. But do not rush to punish yourself! The feeling of envy is inherent in everyone. It is unlikely that there is a single person in this world whose heart has never been pierced by the thought of someone else's success. But after this "prick" a strange thing happens: people are divided into two categories. Some of them jump up and try to overcome, convince, achieve, receive. And others smear angry tears and hate themselves and everyone, accusing the world of injustice. So what does this mean: for someone, envy is an incentive for further growth, and for others - a source of bitterness and resentment? Why can someone step over an unpleasant feeling of annoyance, and someone selflessly bathes in it? Here everything depends on the personality and character of the person. If you are used to independently achieving your goals, overcoming difficulties and constantly moving forward - well, you are a lucky one. In your case, envy is fleeting, it only sets you another goal, the achievement of which you will undertake with passion and inspiration. There are many cases in history when people, out of a sense of rivalry, reached unimaginable heights. Take, for example, the famous commander Alexander Suvorov. From a puny sickly boy, he turned into a great warrior, strategist and thinker. But wasn’t the reason for all this envy, when from the window of his own bedroom he looked at strong boys playing “war”? Another great example is the creation of the famous Lamborghini sports car. After all, the famous Ferruccio Lamborghini created his company “to spite” the giant of the automobile industry Enzo Ferrari, a more dexterous and successful businessman and racer. So maybe you shouldn’t think about how to stop envying people? After all, by developing and improving ourselves, some of us are able to channel the notorious envy in the right direction and become more successful and happier. But if envy is the only incentive to move forward, then you can burn out: there will always be someone richer, more beautiful, smarter, luckier than us. And if you continue to chase after other people's successes, then you simply won't have the strength or time to enjoy your own.

The cure for envy

If you are wondering how to stopenvy people - you are halfway to solving the problem. It is very important to realize that the feeling that torments you is destructive. Of course, it is unrealistic to stop being envious once and for all - it is just human nature that from time to time each of us has outbursts of envy for various reasons. But you simply must not turn this feeling into a catastrophe that ruins your life and the lives of others. Otherwise, you will turn into that poor fellow from the parable who, out of envy, allowed his neighbor in the ward to die. Therefore, in order to understand how not to envy, to start living with a clear conscience and a good mood, listen to a few pieces of advice:

Systematization.

Take a piece of paper and on one sidewrite down why you envy a certain person. On the other side, write down everything you did to achieve the same result. You will quickly understand one of two truths: either that you did not lift a finger to achieve the desired result, or that your actions are simply not enough. In both cases, it will be useful for you. Either accept it and stop being envious, or take into account the shortcomings and go all the way.

Do not boast.

Brag less about your achievements.Surely you yourself understand that bragging and envy are the closest friends. The more you worry that someone is more successful than you, the more you shout about your achievements. It’s as if you’re trying to fill the void of your own unfulfilled desires by proving to others that you’re also great. This is similar to the desire to make your beloved envy you in order to drown out your own annoyance. In the end, this will not lead to anything good. Well, let’s say you convince others of your own importance and success. But your own discontent will not go away. And your friends may start to envy you. You can believe in the evil eye, or not - but negative energy has never brought any benefit to anyone.

Evaluate the situation.

Remember that you can have what someone else doesn't have.others. If you envy your friend with a successful career, then perhaps think - maybe she would easily trade it for your happy married life. If you suffer from crooked legs, then your rival may envy your health and the absence of varicose veins. There are pros and cons everywhere - just don't forget about the other side of the coin (believe me, there is no reward without it).

Eliminate irritants.

Be prepared for the fact that it will be difficult to overcome envyIt's not that easy - sometimes you have to put in a lot of effort. Don't be upset if you can't calm your envy right away - it might take some time. And the best thing to do is isolate yourself from the object of your envy for that time. Are you jealous of your friend? Refuse to communicate with her for a while under a plausible pretext.

Love yourself, darling.

Love yourself and start enjoying life.Every day, every hour of existence. As soon as you find inner harmony, there will be no time or energy left for envy. You are the best, smartest and most beautiful, you will definitely succeed! The main thing is to believe in it. Each of us has our own path. To understand how to stop envying others, just live your own life, not someone else's ambitions. You cannot know what is hidden behind the facade of successful, lucky people - perhaps they are plagued by the same problems as you. Just rejoice in their victories and do not forget about your own goals - no one will achieve them for you.