How to break up with a guy nicely when youdumped or when you dump? The world knows numerous stories about how a dumped partner continued to “torment” his former half for a long time with calls, vigils under the window and other interferences in private life. Naturally, each of us who finds ourselves in such a situation wants to avoid this. No matter how bitter and offensive it is, civilized methods of separation will help smooth out the unpleasant situation, which we want to share with you.

If the initiator of parting is your partner

If you are abandoned, try at any cost"Save face" by demonstrating self-respect. Calmly and without unnecessary emotions, ask your partner to explain the reasons why he decided to break up. After all, in any case, begging, crying, insulting a man and even fighting in such situations is pointless. On the contrary, as practice shows, the calm behavior of a partner confuses the representatives of the stronger sex, they are so shocked that they begin to regret the decision made, and sometimes even try to re-establish relations. Whether to meet them halfway or not is up to you. It is quite normal that for some time you will be very hurt and offended. But do you know what will be the best thing in this situation? Start living for yourself. Whatever the reason for your breakup, two or three weeks after the sad day, begin to slowly come to your senses. Go to a club with your girlfriends and "light it up" there until the morning! Start going to the gym in an intensive mode and get your figure in order in a few months. Find an interesting activity that will help you realize your creative energy. In general, get involved in life and don’t get stuck in the past.

If you are the one who initiated the breakup

If you are the one who initiated the breakup,The partner also has the right to expect an explanation of the situation. To do this, you yourself need to understand why you decided to break up - it is best to write down the reason on a piece of paper. It will help you remain steadfast, even if the young man insists on the opposite. You should clearly and politely explain to him why you no longer want to continue this relationship. Be prepared for emotions on his part. Naturally, it is unpleasant for every person to be dumped. Your ex-partner can throw a tantrum, provoke a quarrel, insult you - you need to be prepared for this. Understand that most people do this not out of malice, but out of resentment - like, they hurt me, and now I want to hurt you in return. The explanation must be personal. Of course, you may be tempted to do this by phone, text message or even email. But your ex-partner will regard such behavior as disrespect. You need to have the courage to tell him everything straight to his face and face his reaction to it. Try to use I-statements in your speech, focusing on yourself and your state. Not “you behaved like a pig”, but “I feel really bad when you do this and that”. This approach hurts much less, and then there is a chance that your ex will hear you. You may want to resort to one of the following methods:

• Расставание во время конфликта Самое простое, what you can do is to say your decision emotionally, when you both practically hate each other. Such a breakup will most likely lead to a complete and final break in relations. And this is the main catch of this method: the person ends up being very badly hurt, and he gets the impression that you broke up because of a quarrel (and this is not true, is it?) Therefore, this method is the easiest, but by no means mature.
• Slow Breakup Gradually you beginbring your communication to nothing, stop calling and generally not showing up in his life in any way. But this method has a number of disadvantages. Firstly, there is no clear end to the relationship, which can result in unpleasant surprises in the future when the young man sees you in the company of another. Secondly, the reason for the cooling of relations will not be clear to your ex-partner, and this can be very painful for him. In addition, this method cannot be called adult either: you avoid the conversation, preferring to simply quietly cross the guy out of your life.
• The story of another guy For many girls thisThis option becomes a way out that allows you to turn away an unnecessary admirer once and for all. Naturally, you shouldn't use it with a person who has an explosive character - you don't know what such a conversation will turn out to be for you. And, of course, this method is very traumatic for your "former half" - why hurt a person more than necessary?

Thus, the most faithful and correctAn honest and sincere conversation with your boyfriend is still an option. Yes, it is difficult, but it needs to be done. You will have to look into his loving eyes and tell him (but not in public!) that you have become different, your feelings for him have changed and you do not want to deceive either him or yourself. If there is a reason, tell him about it, emphasizing your inability to put up with this. You should end the conversation by saying that he is a wonderful man and will definitely meet his soulmate, who will be completely suitable for him.

Mutual decision to part

It also happens that the realization of collapse ina couple comes to a relationship at the same time. It would seem to be the most bloodless option. However, behind it there are often hidden desires to accuse each other of all mortal sins, which prevents the separation from being peaceful. If you are faced with such a situation, try to maintain mutual respect - this is what will help you not to remain enemies for the rest of your life. Very often, having decided to separate, the couple "drags out" the rubber, remaining only sexual partners. Before agreeing to this type of communication, think carefully whether it is worth maintaining a hopeless relationship even for the sake of good sex. They will somehow hold you back and prevent new love from coming into your life.

Parting because of external circumstances

Sometimes couples break up not because of a cooling offfeelings, and due to certain circumstances, for example, one of the partners already has a family or is leaving for a long time abroad or to another city. In this case, it is better to immediately refuse any contact with your former chosen one. Think about it, if your feelings were so strong, would the circumstances be able to interfere with you? Of course not. Accordingly, your separation is an honest and correct step towards a new happy life, but for this you will need to completely let go of each other. As the saying goes, "if you don't part with one, another one won't come", so survive the breakup, no matter how painful it is for you.

Some more useful tips

Division of jointly acquired property - moreone important problem when breaking up This process, in the absence of an agreement on the ownership of this or that property by one of the partners or a marriage contract, can drag on for a long time. Often such a division develops into a global catastrophe. Be patient and try to adhere to the rule of the "golden mean". Be fair to both yourself and your ex-partner. However, if you still cannot come to a mutual agreement, do not hesitate to seek help in the last resort - file a lawsuit in court.

Don't give in to provocations It's not a fact thatthe demonstrated sense of tact and restraint will help you break up with your ex-partner without a "headache". Some representatives of the stronger sex, when breaking up, try, if not to arouse pity, then to vent their anger. Try not to give in to various kinds of provocations on his part, reassuring yourself that you have already done everything you could.

Don't rush into new relationships Psychologistsутверждают, что найти новую любовь можно лишь тогда, когда старая будет прожита и отпущена на свободу. Побудьте какое-то время в одиночестве для того, чтобы лучше разобраться в себе. Ну, а если другой парень и был причиной для расставания, постарайтесь хотя бы какое-то время не афишировать ваши с ним отношения, дабы не причинять боль ни в чем не виноватому “бывшему”.

About “remaining friends” Actually, in goodOnly a minimal percentage of former lovers remain in friendly relations. This is due to the fact that a breakup almost always leads to denigrating the partner, splashing out on him your resentment and anger, after which it can be quite difficult to communicate. And possessive feelings can be a serious obstacle to potential friendship. So do not blame yourself if you do not want to keep your ex-boyfriend as a friend - this is normal. But if you succeed, then it will be great! This means that your relationship was truly a meeting of two people who are interesting to each other, who do not want to remove themselves from the life of their partner.

Feeling Guilty If you are the initiatorbreakup, then its appearance is almost inevitable. That is why many girls wait until the last minute, forcing guys to break off relations on their own. This behavior is aimed at removing responsibility and speaks of a person’s inability to manage his life. You act like an adult who does not want to pretend and try to revive something that has long since died. Think about it, because staying with an unloved person is at least dishonest towards him. So praise yourself and move on.

It is important to understand that separation has its ownthe goal is to stop the development of unpromising relationships, but not to devalue them. That is why it is so important to separate beautifully and intelligently - then each of you will have a good and pleasant memory of this period of life after some time. We recommend reading:

Comments

comments