It is said that all ages are submissive to love, thatto meet a truly close and dear person can be in 30 and 50 years. From the TV screen we are looked at by happy couples of celebrities, where their husbands are twice or even three times older than their young companions. All of them do not tire of repeating that their marriage unions are the happiest and most reliable. But then on the screen, and in real life any girl who decided to link her life with a man 20 years older than herself is really at risk. Will not her prince on a white horse be an ordinary boring old man of some sort in 10 or 15 years of joint life, does she not seem to have a difference at the age of 20 as an insurmountable obstacle to a happy family life? Agree that when a seventeen-year-old girl falls in love with a man 20 years older, then we all shake our heads and hope that this "wind in my head" will soon pass, that the girl will switch her attention to another object more suitable for her by age. But when the decision to marry a man twice as old is taken by a fully mature, mature woman, we secretly "hold the fists" for her, hoping that she does not commit a fatal mistake. 20 years of difference are practically different generations, where each of the spouses has completely different interests and temperaments. Despite this, unequal marriages with a large age difference are not uncommon, moreover, they become very popular.
Why do girls decide on an unequal marriage
While you are 25 years old, and he is 45, then everything, like,normal: he is still young, full of strength and desires. Girlfriends with curiosity and bewilderment consider a nice uncle, gently holding your hand, and you just shine with love and happiness. But what happens when you hit 40, and he's 60? It is unlikely that at least one woman who has decided to associate her life with a man much older than her does not think about it. But why, despite all the visible difficulties, they climb into this pool with their heads, what is the reason?
Disadvantages of unequal marriage
Why is society so negative aboutmarriage, where the difference in age between a man and a woman is very high? A couple of hundred years ago, no one would be surprised by the union of a wealthy elderly noble with a young beauty. Moreover, this state of affairs was considered absolutely normal, and mercantile interests on the part of the bride were not considered something shameful. In our time, the attitude towards such alliances is quite different. It's no secret that with age, men tend to young girls, they are attracted by their freshness, naivety and inexperience. But what about the women who entered into such a union, what can they expect from such a marriage?
- The most serious problem in families where a manmuch older than his wife - is a difference in interests. With a certain age, the character and habits of a person change, and this is not surprising. Gone are the days when he danced to disco in the morning, when I wanted to go every day to find new experiences. Closer to fifty men prefer to lead a quiet lifestyle, and instead of fun and extravagance they think it's best to read an interesting book or watch a good TV show in a cozy living room. But what to do if a young woman still has blood boils, if she wants to enjoy life, meet friends, lead an active lifestyle? There and then comes the moment when two people who love each other cease to understand each other.
- Very often a man who married a girl on 20years younger than himself, agonizingly experiences his aging. He sees that his health and temperament are no longer allowed to go level with his young girlfriend, and it gnaws it from the inside. Hence - groundless jealousy, cavils, fear of losing your beloved. Not every married couple can overcome such a barrier, the constant self-interest of a partner can destroy a marriage.
- Let's face it: with age, male potency weakens, which means that it is becoming more and more difficult for a partner to satisfy a young woman. After couple of tens years of a joint life sexual relations in such family become the big rarity. If only the wife does not belong to that rare category of ladies, to whom sex is completely indifferent, then this problem can become a real disaster for family life. And the point here is not only that the spouse gradually loses her male power - men at the age often lose interest in the process and fulfill their marital duty "for a tick". Hence - either adultery from the female side, or parting with an aged husband.
- Many young ladies who married menrespectable age, complain that their husbands do not want to have children. What's so surprising? In their lives, all this was already: sleepless nights, children's crying, diapers, ryazhonki. Most men who have such experience behind them are content with children from a previous marriage, they just do not need these physical and moral problems at their age. That's why it often happens that before young women the question arises: either to abandon motherhood and continue to live with this person, or to seek another companion of life.
- Sometimes in marriages, where a man is much older than his wife,children do not appear for entirely different reasons. After 40 years, the reproductive capacity of men falls, the chance for their companions to conceive a healthy offspring is sharply reduced. Of course, there are exceptions, and quite frequent, but in most cases the situation is exactly this. If 30 years ago, the "culprit" of a sterile marriage was a woman, nowadays everything has changed: now it is men who have problems with childbearing. And, unfortunately, with age, this negative situation is only exacerbated.
- Whatever it was, but society often condemnsMarriages, where a man is as much as 20 years older than his wife. At such a pair look askance, discuss behind your back, pour taunts. A girl who chose a man twice her husband's husband is accused either of mercantilism or of stupidity. For most women, this situation is rather unpleasant, they are in constant stress, experiencing the attitude of others. And what can we say about the parents' opinion: it is not easy for them to experience the fact that the daughter's husband is the same age as the pope himself. In a word, the negative flows from all sides, and not all women are able to overcome this stressful situation.
- Unfortunately, this is the law of life: women who married a man 20 years older, look much older than their years, their husbands, on the contrary, are younger. This is not surprising, because each of the spouses adjusts to his soul mate, wishing to match her. Every man in the venerable age subconsciously experiences the fear of death, and having found a young, energetic woman as a life partner, he literally adapts to her biological clock. A young wife becomes such a donor: her husband is younger, she externally withers. The surrounding people quickly notice the changes in the appearance of the recent beauty, and their sympathy and compassionate glances do not add a good mood to the woman.
Pros of unequal marriage
If married, where men are much older than their ownwomen, there would be some downsides, it is unlikely that they would exist at all. In the world there are a lot of married couples who have overcome all the difficulties of living together, related to the age difference. Sometimes such unions are much stronger and more reliable than those of families where the spouses are of the same age. So what are the advantages of such an unequal marriage?
- One of the significant merits of marriage, where the husband is olderwife for 20 years is that a man has a rich life experience. He is no longer as reckless as in his youth, and he is well aware of what needs to be done to save the family. Unlike young guys, he will carefully guard his family hearth from minor quarrels and scrapes, capable of destroying relationships. He knows what PMS is, knows what gifts women love and what they expect from a man in bed. In addition, such a husband - a great adviser, he is wiser and more calculating than his peers. Of course, in our time and young people are surprisingly perspicacious and intelligent, but they lack patience and flexibility. It's just those qualities that come to people with experience.
- As a rule, most men in 40 have already foundfinancial stability, they are able to provide their young companion with a decent life. There is no need to save money on an apartment and a car - by this age men usually manage to become successful and financially independent. As a result, a woman gets financial stability and can easily study, make a career or do what she likes, without fearing that her needs will ruin the family budget.
- If the husband is much older than his wife, then he is veryis proud of his young wife and is afraid of losing her. Hence - his constant tokens and attempts to keep a young wife next to him. Such people value relationships not as an example more than men of the same age. And, you see, any woman is very pleased when she is so highly valued and protected.
- It is unlikely that a man whose wife is 20 years younger than himhimself, decide to go "left", because his house is waiting for a beautiful wife - a young and sexy. And why look for adventures on the side, if at his disposal a young, resilient body full of fire and passion? Of course, there are exceptions, but such "goulos" are in any marriage, and the difference in ages is not to do with it. In an unequal marriage, where a man is much older than his wife, male infidelity is a very rare phenomenon.
- If a man at a venerable age was luckyto become a father, then you will not find the best father. Agree that the attitude towards the children of young parents and grandparents is quite different. People of the older generation are much more consciously approaching the education of children, their joy from communicating with them is simply enormous. With age comes the understanding that children are a great happiness, this is a miracle that must be loved and protected. Young daddies are not always capable of showing such feelings towards their children. But a man who became a father at a venerable age, will be an incredibly caring and loving parent.
In the modern world, many happy married couplescouples with a big age difference. In order for such a relationship to last a long time, it is necessary that men and women have similar psychotypes, common interests, love, in the end. If you are in love for real, then all the problems and complexities of unequal marriage can be overcome. But if you decided to marry a man for 20 years older than yourself, you should understand that sooner or later the age will take its and your husband will grow old. One day from a brutal forty-year-old macho, he will turn into a gray-haired old man, swallowing a pill and demanding a hot-water bottle. And you at this time will be still young and good-looking, and attractive men will continue to pay attention to you. Are you ready to become for your adult husband not only a loving wife, but also a caring mother in one person? If yes, then you can fully expect a happy family union for long, long years. If not, then try to look for your happiness elsewhere - otherwise in a couple of decades you will be unbearably hard to see next to yourself an old copy of a man whom you once loved. We advise you to read: