How nice to part with a guy when youthrow or when you throw? The world knows numerous stories about how the abandoned partner for a long time continued to "tear" his former half calls, watch under the window and other interventions in privacy. Naturally, each of us, who finds ourselves in such a situation, wants to avoid this. No matter how bitter and offensive, the civilized methods of parting, which we want to share with you, will help to smooth the unpleasant situation.

If the initiator of parting is your partner

If you are thrown, try at all costs"Save face," demonstrating self-esteem. Calmly and without unnecessary emotions, ask the partner to explain the reasons for which he decided to part. After all, in any case, begging, pouring tears, insulting a man and even fighting in such situations is meaningless. On the contrary, as practice shows, the calm behavior of the partner leads the representatives of the stronger sex into confusion, they are so surprised that they start regretting the decision, and sometimes even try to re-establish relations. Go to meet them or not - you decide. It is quite normal that for some time you will be very hurt and hurt. But do you know what will be best in this situation? Start living for yourself. Whatever the reason for your parting, after two or three weeks after a sad day, start slowly to recover. Go with your friends in the club and "light up" there until the morning! Start to walk on fitness in the strengthened mode and bring the figure in order for several months. Find an interesting lesson that will help you realize creative energy. In general, join life and do not get stuck in the past.

If the initiator of parting is you

If you are the initiator of parting,the partner also has the right to expect an explanation of the situation that has arisen. To do this, you yourself need to understand why you decided to part ways - it's best to write down a reason for yourself on a piece of paper. It will help you stay strong, even if the young man insists on the opposite. You should understand and politely explain to him why you no longer want to continue this relationship. Be ready for emotions on his part. Naturally, every person is uncomfortable when they drop it. Your former partner can throw a tantrum, provoke a quarrel, insult you - you need to be ready for this. Understand that most people do it not from evil, but from insult - they say, they hurt me, and now I want to hurt in return. The explanation must necessarily be personal. Of course, you may be tempted to do this by phone, SMS or even by e-mail. But this behavior your former partner will regard as disrespect. You need to have the courage to tell him everything right in the face and face his reaction to it. Try to use I-utterances in speech, emphasizing yourself and your condition. Not "you behaved like a pig," but "I feel very bad when you do this and this." This approach is much less hurting, and then there is a chance that the former partner will hear you. It is possible that you will want to resort to one of the following ways:

• Parting during a conflict The simplest thing is thatyou can do is say about your decision on emotions, when you both practically hate each other. Such parting, most likely, will lead to a complete and final rupture of relations. And this is the main snag of this method: a person is very badly wounded, and he gives the impression that you broke up because of a quarrel (which is not so?) Therefore, this method is the easiest, but by no means mature.
• Slow Parting Gradually you startto nullify your communication, stop ringing and in any way manifest in his life. But this method has a number of drawbacks. First, there is no clear completion of the relationship, which can turn into unpleasant surprises in the future, when a young man sees you in the company of another. Secondly, the reason for cooling relations will be incomprehensible to your former partner, and this can be very painful for him. In addition, this way also can not be called an adult: you leave the conversation, preferring to just quietly delete the guy from your life.
• The story of another guy For many girls thisthe option becomes an outlet, allowing you to turn away from yourself an unnecessary fan once and for all. Naturally, you should not use it with a person who has an explosive nature - it's not known what a similar conversation will turn out for you. And, of course, this method is very traumatic for your "former half" - why hurt a person more than necessary?

Thus, the most correct and correctoption is still an honest and sincere conversation with your boyfriend. Yes, it's hard, but you have to do it. You will have to look at his loving eyes and say (not in public!) That you have become different, you have changed feelings for him and you do not want to deceive him or yourself. If there is any reason, tell him about it, focusing on your inability to put up with it. End the conversation followed by the words that he is a wonderful man and will certainly meet a soul mate who will fully approach him.

Mutual decision to part

It also happens that to the realization of the collapse in relationsthe couple comes at once. It would seem that the most bloodless option. True, behind it are often hidden aspiration to accuse each other of all mortal sins, which prevents the parting to pass peacefully. If you are faced with a similar situation, try to maintain mutual respect - it will help you not to remain enemies for the rest of your life. Very often, after making a decision about parting, the couple "pulls" the rubber, remaining only sexual partners. Before agreeing to such a variant of communication, think carefully about whether it is worth maintaining unpromising relationships even for the sake of good sex. They will somehow keep you and prevent the arrival of a new love in your life.

Parting because of external circumstances

Sometimes couples leave not because of the coolingfeelings, and due to some circumstances, for example, one of the partners already has a family or leaves for a long time abroad or to another city. In this case, it is better to immediately abandon any contacts with the former elect. Think, if your feelings were so strong, would the circumstances be able to prevent you? Of course not. Accordingly, your separation is an honest and correct step to a new happy life, but for this you will need to completely let go of each other. As they say, "do not part with one - the other will not come", so experience a break, no matter how painful you were.

Some more useful tips

The sharing of jointly acquired property is anotherimportant problem in parting This process, in the absence of an agreement on the ownership of a property to one of the partners or the marriage contract, may be delayed for a long time. Often such a division grows into a global catastrophe. Have enough patience and try to follow the rule of the "golden mean". Be fair to yourself and to your former partner. However, if you have not been able to reach a mutual agreement, do not hesitate to ask for help in the last instance - file a claim with the court.

Do not give in to provocation Not the fact thatthe expressed sense of tact and endurance will help you to part with the former partner without a "headache". Some representatives of the stronger sex at parting try if you do not cause pity, then remove the malice. Try not to succumb to all sorts of provocations on his part, reassuring yourself that everything you could have already done.

Do not rush to start a new relationship Psychologistsargue that you can find a new love only when the old one is lived and released to freedom. Be alone for a while in order to better understand yourself. Well, if the other guy was the reason for parting, try at least for a while not to advertise your relations with him, so as not to cause pain in anything not guilty "former".

About "to remain friends" In fact, in goodonly a minimal percentage of former lovers remains friendships. This is due to the fact that parting almost always leads to blackening a partner, splashing out his grievances and anger, after which it can be difficult to communicate. And the proprietary feelings can be a serious hindrance to potential friendship. So do not blame yourself, if you do not want to leave the former guy as a friend - that's fine. But if you succeed, it will be very cool! This suggests that your relationship was really a meeting of two interesting people to each other, who do not want to retire from the life of a partner.

Feelings of guilt If you are the initiatorparting, then its appearance is almost inevitable. That's why many girls pull to the last, forcing the guys to sever their relationship on their own. This behavior is aimed at the removal of responsibility and speaks of the inability of man to lead his life. You act like an adult who does not want to pretend and try to reanimate what has long since died. Think about it, because staying with an unloved person is at least dishonest in relation to him. So praise yourself and move on.

It is important to understand that parting has its purpose- to stop the development of unpromising relations, but not to depreciate them. That is why it is so important to disperse beautifully and intelligently - then each of you will have a good and pleasant memory about this segment of life. We advise you to read:

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