Think About Yourself
Relationships with a married man are not easya test, especially if you are an impressionable person. You are young and attractive, but you live as if in a dream: what if a miracle happens, and your loved one finally leaves the family. In such an enchanted dream, you can live not a day, not two, but several years. And the further, the more your dream will resemble a nightmare. Judge for yourself: you will have to love "on the run". Meetings with a man will be infrequent and hasty. You will rarely see each other, because he should spend weekends, holidays and vacations with his wife and children. A married man always has many responsibilities to the family: take his son or daughter to an amusement park, take his mother-in-law to the country, pick up his wife's car from the service, etc. Therefore, he will reschedule or completely cancel dates with you, sometimes at the very last moment. Do not count on long phone conversations: during the day he will be busy at work, and in the evening your conversation may accidentally be overheard by his wife. And in your phone book, your cell phone number will most likely be the number of a certain Oleg or Petr Ivanovich. And what about you? You will wait and hope that he will come or call. You will regularly check your email, take your phone out of your purse every minute to check if it is dead, and worry if your loved one does not answer your SMS. Every missed call, every unanswered message, every failed date will be interpreted as evidence that he does not need you and has decided to leave you. Insomnia, constant anxiety and gloomy thoughts will negatively affect your overall well-being. Soon your nerves will give out, and you will begin to be jealous of your loved one's family, quarrel with him over the slightest trifle, reproach him for indifference and inattention. Are you ready for this and continue to think about how to take a married man away? You will constantly compare yourself with his wife, because you need to be better than her in everything, and at the same time different from her, otherwise you will not take him away from his family. Does she cook borscht perfectly? So you carefully study the art of making sushi. Does she ski? You sign up for diving courses. Does she speak English well? You put Italian textbooks and dictionaries in a prominent place. At first, such a competition looks quite funny, but over time it develops into self-doubt, self-esteem falls below zero, and the need to "match" begins to strain. Are you ready for this? A relationship with a married man is a relationship of dependence. Gradually, you will stop being yourself and completely dissolve in him, in his interests. You no longer belong to yourself. You cannot go to a nightclub with your girlfriends on Friday - what if He comes? You should be ready to take a day off from work or unpaid leave because your man has "gone on a business trip" which he wants to spend with you in a country holiday home. You should always look great, with a fresh hairdo, manicure and pedicure, even if you are tired or not feeling well - what if he decides to drop in on you this evening? Doesn't being in constant full combat readiness for a feat scare you?
Relations with other men
They won't be there.At least, permanent and promising. At first, you will remain faithful to Him, and even the most innocent flirtation with another person will be regarded by you as a betrayal of your loved one. If a person with serious intentions appears in your life, who is ready to tie his fate to you, you will not even understand this, since you will be too busy thinking about your future happiness. Then, when you get tired of waiting, you will be ready to throw yourself into the arms of almost the first person you meet, in order to feel desired again, or at least somehow annoy your man, or prove to yourself that you are a free woman, and not someone's property. But it is unlikely that you will actually feel anything, prove anything, or somehow annoy him. Such spontaneous actions, as a rule, are committed in the heat of the moment, under the influence of emotions, and then, when the ardor passes, your soul becomes very empty and sad. Are you ready for such a development of events? If the relationship with him has been going on for a long time, and he does not even think about getting a divorce, you will stop trusting all representatives of the stronger sex and eventually convince yourself that there are no decent men left in the world. It is as if you will wrap yourself in a cocoon of disappointment and mistrust, anger and bitter thoughts about wasted time and missed opportunities. Are you sure that in the future you will not regret that you once thought about how to take a married man away? With each passing day, there will be more and more lies and less trust in your relationship. You will both lie. He will lie to his wife and children. You will lie to your parents and relatives. Moreover, you will both even deceive each other. You will pretend that everything is fine and you are happy with the uncertainty in which you live, and you do not mind that after a date with you he hurries home. He will tell you that he will definitely get divorced, as soon as he finishes renovating his apartment (after all, a real man breaks up with his wife on good terms) or as soon as he gets a promotion (after a divorce, he will have to provide for two families). Needless to say, he will not go anywhere, even after he puts the whole apartment in order and becomes the executive director of his company?
Give a birth to a baby
Perhaps, tired of his promises of divorce, youdecide to use heavy artillery – try to get pregnant by him, counting on the fact that in this case he will definitely leave the family. You consulted with a friend, and she convinced you that this is the only way out of the current situation: “Don’t even doubt it, you will definitely take your man away.” However, you should not think that everything will be exactly like this. It is quite possible that he will not consider your pregnancy a sufficient reason for divorce: he already has children, so why would he exchange them for an unborn baby? Perhaps he will even insist that you terminate the pregnancy. Men, no offense to them, have a very poor idea of what an abortion is and what a woman who decides to get rid of a child will have to go through. It seems to them that it is just a rather unpleasant procedure. “Physical pain can be tolerated,” they reason, “especially since abortions are now done with good anesthesia.” They are right, you can endure it. But then you will have to live with the unbearable awareness of your own guilt before the unborn little person, who became a hostage of tangled adult games. Emotional wounds do not heal as quickly as wounds from surgical instruments. Thoughts about an unborn child are sad thoughts about an irreparable loss. Are you ready for this? Do not forget that even if the pregnancy was terminated by an experienced specialist in the best clinic in the city, the consequences of an abortion can be very serious. About half of the women who decide to take such a step subsequently cannot conceive a child again due to secondary infertility. Those who manage to get pregnant again have a very high risk of miscarriage or abnormal fetal development. Are you ready for this? Of course, you can lie about your "interesting situation". But, as we already wrote above, you should not count on the man deciding to leave the family. In general, the news of pregnancy is a kind of litmus test to test the strength of your relationship. How many married men in such a situation begin to doubt whether the child is really theirs, because it is quite possible that you are having an affair with someone else. How many married men would rather pay for their mistress to have an abortion than divorce their wife! And how many married men would prefer to end the relationship, leaving you a single mother with no right to their financial support! Are you ready for this?
The dream was fulfilled: what next?
Let's not argue, mistresses really aretake men away from their families (even if the percentage of such “successes” is negligible). But you must be aware that after your dream comes true and your loved one leaves for you, you will immediately feel the burden of guilt and responsibility for the broken family (after all, you are not a cold-blooded calculating person who targets someone else’s husband because of his position in society or money?) Firstly, you will hurt another woman, perhaps even your friend. Secondly, children, especially teenagers, are very sensitive to discord between their parents – you should also think about this if you decide to interfere in the life of someone else’s family. Thirdly, as a rule, public opinion blames mistresses, not unfaithful husbands, for marriages falling apart. Are you ready for the old ladies at the entrance to give you reproachful looks or not be shy about lecturing you and telling you everything they think about “shameless homewreckers who take a man away from his family”? Sometimes women in your situation even have to change apartments. In addition, you will subconsciously expect that at any moment your man can cheat on you too - he already left his family once, got off with a slight fright and theoretically will be ready to do it again. Soon you will begin to suspect him of cheating, because you know very well how masterfully he can lie and pretend. You will begin to secretly check his messages on his phone or e-mail correspondence, you will be reluctant to let him go on business trips or to meet with friends. Over time, too much mistrust will accumulate in your relationship for your romance to survive and continue. Moreover, it is not at all necessary that, having left his family, a man will immediately propose to you. Perhaps he will like it more "on the outside": no obligations to the family, you can completely manage your free time and have affairs, for example, during a vacation at sea. And you will be alone experiencing the collapse of hopes. And then the bitter understanding will come that you have exchanged your life for a fictitious fairy tale, a beautiful illusion - nothing more. Starting to read the article, you probably expected to find in it recipes on how to take a married man away, but instead received reasoning about the possible consequences of your choice. But they do not scare you, and you think that you are ready for anything. Well, we are not going to engage in boring moralizing. The choice is yours in any case: you can take a risk and either win, or go an endlessly long road to nowhere. We hope that you know yourself and your man well enough to understand what you can cope with and put up with, and what you cannot.
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