Let's face it: single women and girls in this world is very uncomfortable. It seems that the older they become, the more difficult it is for them to go on dates and the less choices they have. Marriage agencies? Money on the wind. The blind date? Just awful. Dating websites? Complete disappointment. And you want desperately love. And then He appears on the horizon, beautifully cares, gives flowers and even writes poetry. He only has one small drawback: he is married. If you are reading this article, most likely, you are not married, you do not have a constant boyfriend and with you this old, as the world, story happened: you fell in love with someone else's husband. And now, most of all, you are interested in the question of how to take a married man from a family. After all, you love each other with him, were created for each other and only for some ridiculous accident did not meet five (or ten) years ago, when he did not yet have a wife and children. Nevertheless, we urge you to forget about your feelings for a moment and try with a cold head to think carefully about whether you are ready to bear responsibility for having decided to take away someone else's husband. According to statistics, no more than 10% of men leave the family. If your relationship lasts more than a year, the likelihood that it will go to you, tends to zero. Most of those who abandoned his wife and children, after a while again return to them. Do not you confuse these figures, because you believe that you will be all right? A friend of mine managed to take the guy away, so you are optimistic. Well, let's discuss the possible consequences of your choice, which you probably have not thought about yet, and try to answer the question of whether to take someone else's husband.
Think About Yourself
Relations with a married man are not easytest, especially if you are impressionable nature. You are young and attractive, but you live like in a dream: but suddenly a miracle will happen, and the loved one will finally leave the family. In such an enchanted dream it is possible to live not a day, not two, but several years. And the further, the more your dream will be like a nightmare. Judge for yourself: you'll have to "love on the run." Meetings with a man will be infrequent and hasty. You will rarely be seen, because he must spend weekends, holidays and holidays with his wife and children. A married man always has many responsibilities to his family: to take his son or daughter to an amusement park, take his mother-in-law to a dacha, take his wife's car out of service, etc. Therefore, he will postpone or completely cancel the appointment with you, sometimes at the very last moment. Do not count on long phone calls: in the afternoon he will be busy at work, and in the evening your conversation may accidentally be heard by his wife. Yes, and in the phone book your cell number is likely to be the number of somebody Oleg or Peter Ivanovich. And what about you? And you will wait and hope that he will come or call. You will regularly check your e-mail, every minute, take out your phone from the purse to check if it is dead, and worry if your loved one does not respond to SMS. Every missed call, every unanswered message, every failed appointment will be interpreted as evidence that he does not need you and he decided to leave you. Insomnia, a constant sense of anxiety and gloomy thoughts will negatively affect your overall well-being. Soon you will give up your nerves, and you will begin to be jealous of your loved one to the family, quarrel with him because of the slightest trifle, reproach in indifference and inattention. Are you ready for this and continue to think about how to lead a married man? You will constantly compare yourself with his wife, because you need to be better in everything than she is, and at the same time unlike her, otherwise he will not be taken away from the family. She perfectly prepares borsch? And here you are carefully studying the art of making sushi. Is she skiing? You are enrolling in diving courses. Does she speak good English? You put in prominence the textbooks and dictionaries of the Italian language. Initially, such a competition looks amusing, but over time it grows into self-doubt, self-esteem falls below zero, and the need to "match" begins to strain. Are you ready for this? Relations with a married man are a relationship of dependence. Gradually you will cease to be yourself and completely dissolve in it, in its interests. You no longer belong to yourself. You can not go on Friday with friends in a nightclub - but what if He comes? You should be ready to take time off from work or leave at your own expense, because your man "went on a business trip", which he wants to spend with you in a country holiday home. You should always look great, with fresh styling, manicure and pedicure, even if you are tired or unwell, and what if he decides to look to you tonight? Are you not afraid of constant full combat readiness for heroism?
Relations with other men
They will not be. At least, permanent and promising. First you will remain faithful to Him, and even the most innocent flirting with another person you will regard as a betrayal of a loved one. If you have a person with serious intentions in your life who will be ready to connect your destiny with you, you will not even understand this, because you will be too busy thinking about your future happiness. Then, when you are tired of waiting, you will be ready to throw yourself into the arms of almost the first person you meet, to feel welcome again, or somehow annoy your man, or to prove to yourself that you are a free woman, and not someone's property . But it is unlikely that you will actually feel something, prove it, or somehow annoy you. Such spontaneous actions, as a rule, are committed in the heat, under the influence of emotions, and then, when the fuse passes, the soul becomes very empty and depressing. Are you ready for this development of events? If the relationship with him lasts long enough, and he does not think of getting divorced, you will stop believing all the representatives of the stronger sex and eventually convince yourself that there are no decent men left at all. You seem to wrap yourself in a cocoon of disappointment and mistrust, bitterness and bitter thoughts about lost time and missed opportunities. Are you sure that in the future you will not regret that you once thought about how to take a married man? Every day in your relationship there will be more and more lies and less and less trust. Both of you will lie. He - his wife and children. You - parents and relatives. Moreover, both of you will deceive even each other. You will pretend that everything is fine and you are satisfied with the uncertainty in which you live, and you do not mind that after meeting you he rushes home. He will tell you that he will certainly divorce, that's just finishing repairs in the apartment (after all, a real man parted with his wife in a good way), or just wait for promotion (after the divorce will have to provide two families). Need I say that he will not go anywhere, even after he brings the whole apartment in order and becomes the executive director of his company?
Give a birth to a baby
Perhaps tired of his promises to divorce, youdecide to use heavy artillery - you will try to get pregnant with it, hoping that in this case he will certainly leave the family. You consulted with your friend, and she convinced you that this is the only way out of the situation that has arisen: "Do not even doubt, you will take your muzhik without fail." However, do not think that everything will be exactly the same. It is possible that he does not consider your pregnancy sufficient reason for divorce: he already has children, so why should he change them for an unborn baby? Perhaps he will even insist that you interrupt your pregnancy. Men, no offense to them be told, very weakly imagine what abortion is and what a woman who has decided to get rid of the child will have to endure. They think that this is just a rather unpleasant procedure. "You can endure physical pain," they argue, "especially since abortions are now being done with good anesthesia." They are right, you can tolerate. But then we will have to live with an unbearable awareness of our own guilt before the unborn little man, who became a hostage of tangled adult games. Mental wounds are not tightened as quickly as wounds from surgical instruments. Thoughts about an unborn child are dreary thoughts about an irreparable loss. Are you ready for this? Do not forget that even if the pregnancy was interrupted by an experienced specialist in the best clinic in the city, the consequences of abortion can be very serious. Approximately half of the women who decided to take such a step subsequently can not conceive a child again because of the developed secondary infertility. Those who manage to get pregnant again are at high risk for miscarriage or abnormal fetal development. Are you ready for this? Of course, one can also lie about his "interesting position". But, as we already mentioned above, do not expect that the man will decide to leave the family. In general, the news about pregnancy is a kind of litmus test for checking your relationship for strength. How many married men in this situation are beginning to doubt, but is it really his child, because it is possible that you have an affair with someone else. How many married men would rather pay an abortion to a mistress, than divorce his wife! And how many married men will prefer to end the relationship, making you a single mother who has no right to their financial support! Are you ready for this?
The dream was fulfilled: what next?
We will not argue, mistresses are really gonemen from the family (even if the percentage of such "luck" is negligible). But you should be aware that after your dream comes true and your loved one goes to you, you will immediately feel a burden of guilt and responsibility for the broken family (after all, you are not a cold-blooded, calculating person who is aiming at someone else's husband because of his position in society or money?) First, you will hurt another woman, perhaps even your acquaintance. Secondly, children, especially adolescents, are very sensitive to the disagreement between parents - this should also be considered if you decided to intervene in the life of another's family. Thirdly, as a rule, public opinion blames mistresses, not unfaithful husbands, that marriages break up. Are you ready for the fact that the old women at the entrance will escort you with reproachful glances or are not ashamed to teach the mind-reason and tell you everything they think about the "unscrupulous razluchnits that take the peasant out of the family"? Sometimes women in your situation even have to change an apartment. In addition, unconsciously, you will wait that at any time your man can change and you - he has already left the family once, got off with a slight fright and will theoretically be ready to do it again. Soon you will begin to suspect him of treason, because you know perfectly well how skillfully he knows how to lie and pretend. You will begin to secretly check his messages in the phone or e-mail, you will be reluctant to let him on business trips or to meetings with friends. Over time, there will be too much distrust in your relationship so that your novel can survive and continue. Moreover, it is absolutely not necessary that, having left the family, the man will immediately offer you a hand and heart. Perhaps, "on the loose" he will like more: no obligations to the family, you can completely dispose of your free time and turn novels, for example, while relaxing at sea. And you will be alone in experiencing a collapse of hope. And then a bitter understanding will come that you have exchanged your life for a fictional fairy tale, a beautiful illusion - no more. Starting to read the article, you probably expected to find in it the recipes, how to lead the married man, and instead they received arguments about the possible consequences of your choice. But they do not frighten you, and you think you are ready for anything. Well, we are not going to engage in boring moralizing. The choice is in any case for you: you can risk and either win, or go an endlessly long road to nowhere. We hope you know yourself and your man well enough to understand what you can handle and reconcile, and with what - no.