There is an old saying: “I loved all my life, but inThursday fell out of love." In fact, this happens quite often. Perhaps, outwardly, you are an absolutely happy family, where the husband is both loving and caring, to the envy of all his girlfriends. But then one fine day he simply packs his things and leaves for another woman. A tearful wife, confused children, gloating neighbors with their eternal "I told you so!" And another option is when the husband is with you, but you know for sure that he has someone on the side, and an uncontrollable fountain of emotions and feelings explodes in your head: resentment, anger, indignation, self-pity. And only one thought knocks in your head like a hammer, beating a wild rhythm on the nerves: what to do, how to get your husband back?
If the husband has left for another
The earth is round, a square has four corners, afterAfter summer comes autumn, and then winter.… All these are axioms that do not need to be proven, as well as the fact that your husband loves you and will always be there. That is what you thought before. But now, without meeting your gaze, he packs his bags to breathe freely outside the door and fly with all his wings to another, to your homewrecker. Usually this happens suddenly. It does not matter whether you suspected him of cheating before or not, but it is impossible to prepare mentally for the real departure of your husband from the family. It seems that the whole world has collapsed and there is no point in living on. But, of course, this is not so. If you have experienced the departure of a dear, beloved man from the family, then the first thing you need to do is find the strength to live on. Look around - you are probably surrounded by loving people who are ready to support you in difficult times. It is especially important not to forget about children at such moments, because they suffer the most from the fact that their dad is no longer around. Overcome your own weakness and become a real support and support for your children, but in no case set them against their husband. Children really need a father, losing his presence and love and respect for him is too difficult a test for a child's psyche. Allow them to see their dad, do not interfere with their communication, because in addition to caring for the children, this is also another point in our plan to return the husband home. Since you are reading this article, it means that you are not in the mood for a quick and decisive divorce, and an insistent thought is spinning in your head: I want my husband back! Right? In that case, let's start with what you should not do when trying to bring your man to his senses. The main mistakes of a woman after her husband leaves
- Let's start with the most difficult:Don't yell at him, don't throw tantrums, and don't blame him for ruining your life. Aggression is not the best companion in building relationships. All you will achieve with such behavior is to convince your husband that he made the right choice in favor of someone who doesn't yell or get on his nerves (and your rival is probably trying to be extremely affectionate and gentle with him). Of course, it's not that easy to control your feelings, but if you want to achieve what you want - get your husband back - then gather strength and courage to behave with dignity in this situation.
- Do not beg him to go back, smearing onface evil tears, do not humiliate before him. Surely he will be very sorry for you, but pity is not love, right? In the end, it's not their fault, but he, so do not lose your dignity. Make it clear that you are not one of those who are easily broken, that you are a strong and wise woman. This, at least, will cause the husband to respect.
- Do not blackmail him with children, apartment or othercommon values. Men can not stand when they are forced to do something forcibly. Even if you can force him to return for some of the reasons listed above, then you will not have a normal life, believe me.
- Do not question him about your opponent, notinquire about what it is better than you. Now he lives in another dimension, he has a state of being in love, and he will protect his passion with foam at the mouth and remember all your flaws. Do not torment yourself, this you will not achieve anything.
- Do not try to take revenge on your husband by going to the left. Firstly, it is unlikely that you will feel better from this, because sex without mutual affection does not bring moral satisfaction. Secondly, if the husband finds out about this, it is unlikely that he will want to return to you. Unfortunately, this is the psychology of men: they are much more easily affected by their own infidelities than by women. Perhaps he will get angry and povornuet, but at the thought that you belonged to another man, he is unlikely to have a desire to share with you life and bed.
As a rule, after the husband leaves, the woman is ledonly emotions, because it is really a big stress to lose a loved one. But you just need to pull yourself together and not make all the mistakes described above. No one forbids you to cry your heart out, but make sure that your husband does not see these tears. Of course, your man is dear to you, but he is not the only creature in the world for whom it is worth living. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, unhappy, and cursing your evil fate day and night, try to become what you were before you met him. After all, it was with that woman that he was once madly in love. A guide to action for an abandoned woman
- In order to return her husband, you need to re-createlove yourself. Take care of yourself, devote more time to caring for appearance. Go to visit friends, visit fitness centers, buy yourself something fashionable out of clothes. And do not forget that all this you do not for his sake, but for yourself. Your husband did not die, but simply left your family's life, at least for now. So you have a lot of free time to regain the glamor and brilliance that surrounded you before you were mired in family life.
- Try to understand yourself and understand what is notarranged a husband in your relationship. Discard the first thought that you were an ideal wife, and your husband is just a dishonorable person. Having looked honestly at the events that took place in your common family life, you will surely understand that they themselves were in some way wrong. These conclusions wind up on your own, promising that in the future this will not happen again.
- Be confident in yourself. At meetings with the husband, behave so that he understands that he has offended you, but in any case do not take the form of a victim. Smile, talk calmly, but slightly alienated. Now he certainly expects from you inadequate reactions - accusations, cries and tears. So surprise him and show that you have pride and you do not die because of his absence. Otherwise, you simply flatter his vanity, and it is already inflated utterly (he has two women, and both go crazy with him!).
- During the time of married life together,you have a common circle of friends and acquaintances. After the husband leaves the family, this circle usually breaks into two camps: one on your side, the other on the side of the husband. Try not to recruit mutual friends to your side, do not ask them for details of his new personal life - all this will immediately become known to your husband and will only turn him away from you. Communicate with all as if nothing had happened, avoid the slippery topic of your parting - for sure you have something to talk about, except about your husband!
In your case, the best tactic is to wait.The fact that he has started a life of conscience with another woman does not mean that he will have it any better there than with you. After all, the first romantic feelings will soon subside, and harsh reality will set in: dirty socks, tasteless dinner, unpleasant habits of each other. You have lived with him for a long time and have probably learned to make his life comfortable. You know exactly what he likes for breakfast, how many suits to pack for him on a business trip, what medicine to give him for a runny nose. Your rival does not have such advantages. Believe me, there is a high probability that very soon he will see the light and understand who he has lost. You will not go far on flowers and kisses alone; he is used to an established life, and building a new family means getting used to new rules. Not every man can survive such stress when a previously gentle and affectionate lover suddenly begins to demand that he clean up the things scattered around the apartment and not drink beer with friends on weekends. So in most cases, husbands who left their wives for mistresses return home. How to get your husband back? Don't lose hope and continue living with dignity, because it is these women who are the hardest to give up. If you have a special case, you feel that you can no longer cope with the situation on your own, and you really need support in order to, - you will definitely find answers to many questions on the site dedicated to the topic of returning family relationships. Here is collected both the vast experience of those women who themselves experienced something similar and were able, as well as recommendations from specialists who have been helping people in difficult situations for many years, if a relationship has broken down. In order to immediately receive real help and find a way,, contact those who are best informed about this issue.
If a husband has a novel on the side
It happens in life that your husband does not leave youвас, а каждый вечер возвращается домой, но вы точно знаете, что у него есть другая женщина. Он вас обманывает, выдумывает сотню предлогов для того, чтобы побыть на стороне, а вы чувствуете, что теряете вашего мужчину. Что делать в такой ситуации, как вернуть его любовь? Было бы просто замечательно, если бы вы прочитали эту статью до того, как сделали главную ошибку: рассказали мужу о том, что знаете о его любовнице. Иначе вам придется либо, проглотив обиду, продолжать жить с ним дальше, либо гордо тряхнув головой, потребовать развод. Но вы ведь хотите вернуть мужа в семью, так? В первую очередь вы должны понять, что вы отнюдь не неудачница, от которой «гуляет» муж. Вы вовсе не страшная, не глупая и не толстая. Заводят любовниц мужья даже самых красивых женщин, поэтому перестаньте заниматься уничижением. Узнав, что у мужа роман на стороне, лучше под вымышленным предлогом уехать куда-нибудь подальше, чтобы дать выход эмоциям и наплакаться вдоволь. Выплакав свое горе, вы можете вернуться домой и действовать вполне адекватно. Ни в коем случае не пытайтесь за ним следить, читать его смс-ки, расспрашивать знакомых о том, кто ваша соперница — к добру это не приведет. В любом случае он узнает о вашем поведении, и это вызовет у него либо жалость, либо отвращение, но никак не желание оставить свою пассию ради вас. Ведь у него сейчас такой радостный, приятный период в жизни – конфетно-букетный период с вашей соперницей. А если дойдет дело до разборок и ему придется вам во всем признаться, то сумеете ли вы сдержаться от эмоций и не впасть в истерику? Это станет еще одним камушком в ваш огород: вы нервная истеричка, а она – нежная, мудрая женщина. Да и потом, если после всех этих событий вы останетесь с ним рядом, то он поймет, что вы жить без него не можете, и будет изменять, практически не таясь! Все, что вам нужно сейчас сделать – это в корне изменить свое обычное поведение и заставить его обратить на вас внимание. Если в вашей привычке донимать его допросами, где это он пропадает по вечерам, то попробуйте проигнорировать его вечные задержки. Если вы с утра до ночи занимались тем, что обустраивали быт и чистили, мыли, драили квартиру, то вам стоит взять небольшой тайм-аут и больше времени посвящать лично себе. Не зацикливайтесь на мыслях о том, как вернуть мужа к прежней жизни, просто поживите ради себя. Срочно займитесь своей внешностью: постригитесь-покрасьтесь, прикупите себе что-нибудь новенькое из одежды. И не забудьте о сексуальном нижнем белье, причем не таком, к которому привык ваш муж. Если вы привыкли выбирать черные атласные комплекты, то приобретите что-нибудь красное, или розовое с симпатичными кружавчиками и пуш-апом. Пусть он увидит вас случайно в ванной в новом белье перед вашим выходом на улицу. Это, как минимум, заставит его задуматься о том, что вы интересны кому-то, кроме него. Ревность – это достаточно серьезный повод для того, чтобы оставить на время и так удачно складывающиеся отношения на стороне и серьезно взяться за «ускользающую» из рук жену. Ведь как бы сильно он к вам ни охладел, а чувства собственности еще никто не отменял! Только не стоит и в самом деле заводить любовника только ради того, чтобы отомстить обидчику и наставить ему рога! Может, кого-то из мужчин это и встряхнет, заставив вернуться в лоно семьи, но большинство представителей мужского пола никогда не простят измены. Это может стать прекрасным поводом расстаться с вами официально, и доказывать, кто начал первым, будет уже бесполезно. Подумайте о своих ошибках, что вы совершаете, живя с ним. Быть может, вы одна из тех, кто любит доминировать в семье и заставлять плясать мужа под свою дудку. А может, наоборот, кажетесь ему настолько беспомощной и неумелой, что ничего, кроме раздражения не вызываете. Вы прекрасно знаете своего мужа и прекрасно сможете понять, что в вас было не так. Вместо того, чтобы упрямо гнуть свою линию, попробуйте измениться внутренне – это не сможет остаться незамеченным. Но не уйдет ли он к любовнице за все то время, что вы будете наводить порядок в своей голове? Вряд ли, ведь мужчины очень долго принимают подобные решения. Если только вы не подтолкнете его, выгнав из дома. На данный момент время – это ваш союзник. Позвольте ему вспомнить, что вы – та самая женщина, которую он полюбил много лет назад, что вами интересуются другие мужчины. Это должно стать мощным стимулом для того, чтобы взглянуть на вас по-новому – особенно, если вы изменитесь внутренне в лучшую сторону. Пройдет какое-то время, и вы уже не в горячке, а на свежую голову решите: а нужен ли вам этот человек, или можно спокойно отпустить его к новой привязанности? Может быть, вы достойны лучшего спутника жизни? Итак, неважно, ушел ли ваш муж к другой женщине, или просто крутит роман на стороне. Главные правила для того, чтобы вернуть мужа – спокойствие и выдержка. Ни агрессии, ни слез, ни чувства жалости к себе – все это убивает желание находиться с вами рядом. Играйте в игру под названием «я не пропаду без тебя» и выигрывайте, чтобы оставшуюся жизнь провести с тем, кого любите. Советуем почитать: