Every girl asks herself the question:first sex - is it painful? And it is not surprising, because losing virginity - is not a runny nose. And the stories of more experienced girlfriends often cause real horror. However, do not rush to panic - it would be much wiser to understand this issue in more detail and know what to prepare for. Of course, sex - is a manifestation of love, and where there is love, as we know, there is no place for reason. But sex - is also a physiological act. This means that it is necessary to provide for all the nuances and make every effort to ensure that your first sex leaves only pleasant memories. Of course, this mostly depends on the man, but a woman can also greatly influence the process.
With whom to lose virginity?
The first condition necessary for successfirst sex - this is a worthy man. The man who will put the comfort and convenience of his beloved woman first, and not his animal pleasure. After all, the man's actions directly determine whether you will be in pain during your first sexual contact! Endurance, affection, accuracy, smooth movements - all this will help to reduce pain to a possible minimum. Therefore, you should not lose your virginity with the first man you come across, just because your girlfriends and acquaintances have done it a long time ago. And a random acquaintance from a bar will not be the best option - he, by and large, does not care at all about your mental anguish and physical condition. Even if you do not believe in great and pure love, choose a man as your first sexual partner whom you have known for a long time and at least trust. So, at least, you will worry about what to expect from a man. But nervous tension increases pain many times over.
Where to do it?
The place where you will be also plays an important role.losing your virginity. The back seat of a car or a nightclub toilet - this is the worst thing you can do. It may sound trivial, but losing your virginity should be done in a civilized environment, without extreme sports - leave it for later, you will still have plenty of time for experiments. A bedroom with a normal bed and access to the bathroom - this is exactly what you need. And make sure to protect yourself from uninvited guests - the bedroom of your parents who are at work is also not the best option. It would be better to rent a hotel - share your thoughts with the man.
Remember about contraception
The last thing girls think about before losingvirginity - it's about contraception: too many other fears. And you should never forget about this issue, if you don't want to find out soon after the first night that you'll soon become a mother. And that's in the best case. And in the worst case, you'll have to look for a dermatovenerologist. Remember this before having sex for the first time. And don't rely on a man in this matter. Of course, it would be logical to assume that it is the man who will take care of your safety. But even a too naive man may not think about it. And the result will be either a ruined night or unnecessary tension. Which, as mentioned above, will entail increased pain, which you can't avoid the first time anyway.
Pose for loss of virginity
If you want to study for the first timesex was not very painful, choose the optimal position for this. Doctors say: a number of sexual positions significantly facilitate the process of defloration:
- Pose «Jockey»
The girl should spread her legs wide and lie down onstomach, and it is advisable to put a small pillow under the hips. The man should sit on the woman's hips and carefully insert his penis into the vagina. This position is good because the girl is completely relaxed, the muscles of the legs - and therefore the muscles of the vagina - are absolutely not tense. Thanks to this, the most free insertion of the penis is ensured. In addition, the man will be able to control every movement, which reduces the risk of pain in the partner.
- Sideways pose
The woman lies down on any god and bends her legs inknees. The man kneels next to her and inserts his penis into her vagina. If this is uncomfortable for you, you can slightly modernize the pose - the woman stretches her upper leg to the side. The pose is very good, as it has many advantages - firstly, the partners can see each other, secondly, the muscles of the legs and perineum are completely relaxed and the penis penetrates the vagina almost without hindrance. This means that having sex for the first time will definitely not be very painful - perhaps only slightly unpleasant.
- Missionary pose
If you can’t calm down and the womanIf you are simply tormented by the thought that the first time you have sex will not just be painful, but unbearably painful, it is best to give preference to the good old missionary position. From a physiological point of view, it is not particularly remarkable - moreover, you just need to put a pillow under your hips the first time to facilitate the penetration of the penis. But from a psychological point of view - you simply cannot think of a better position. The partners have the opportunity to maintain eye contact, the woman subconsciously feels a sense of security, the man can kiss her without hindrance. By the way, sexologists claim that this position is most often used to deprive a woman of virginity.
- Doggy-style
If a man is confident in his endurance,deprivation of virginity, you can use the doggy-style position, and its improved version - the woman should kneel by the bed and lie on it with her chest, spreading her legs wide. The man kneels behind the woman and inserts his penis into the vagina. The advantage of this position is that the hymen is maximally stretched and breaks extremely easily. But once again - self-control of the man is very important, because sudden movements can harm the woman.
What else do you need to know?
The hymen itself is nota special obstacle for the first sex, because it is only a thin partition covering the entrance to the vagina. Moreover, it covers this entrance only partially. And the rupture of the hymen during the first sex causes only slight painful sensations. So why do many women complain about being in a lot of pain during their first sex? Gynecologists claim that these painful sensations arise because the entrance to the vagina is still extremely narrow. And in the overwhelming majority of cases, another factor is added - too strong spasms of the vaginal muscles, which occur due to the emotional excitement of the woman. Many girls are afraid not only that it will be very painful, but also that there will be a lot of blood. In fact, this is not so at all - in most cases, a woman gets off with a few drops of blood. And in some cases, there is no blood at all during the first sex - this is also a normal variant and not a cause for concern. It should be noted, however, that sometimes bleeding may occur for several days after the first time you have sex - this is also completely normal. Of course, if there is only a little blood - heavy bleeding is a signal that something is wrong with the body and requires immediate attention from a gynecologist. You should not have sex again immediately after the first time - ideally, you should wait a few days. Despite the fact that a ruptured hymen is not a serious injury and is generally a physiological process, it will take at least three days to heal. So patience, patience, and more patience - it will pay off handsomely later.
Possible problems
Very rarely, but there are still cases whenattempts to have sex for the first time turn into problems. There is no need to be afraid - they are quite easily resolved. However, it is still worth knowing about possible pitfalls so that sex does not cause you negative emotions later - this is fraught with serious psychological problems. After all, the first time is the most important.
- Vaginismus
Doctors call this process vaginismusin which the vaginal muscles contract strongly and make it impossible to insert the penis. There are two types of vaginismus - true and psychological. True vaginismus is extremely rare - about 3% of all cases and can only be dealt with by an experienced specialist. All independent attempts are doomed to failure. Especially if we are talking about the first sex. Fortunately, in most cases you can deal with the problem yourself - of course, with the active participation of the man. Long foreplay, additional lubrication and, most importantly, a lot of patience will definitely overcome the problem. But note - the result will only be if the woman has her loved one next to her. By the way, very often vaginismus is a subconscious reaction of the female psyche to an attempt to lose her virginity with an unloved person.
- Severe pain when trying to have sex
In the event that it is very painful at the momentattempts to insert a penis into the vagina for the first time, there is a high probability that the girl has a hard-to-stretch and/or thick hymen. In such cases, to lose her virginity, you will have to have sex more than once. But if the situation does not change after the fourth or fifth attempt, it would be wiser to consult a gynecologist. He will quickly and painlessly remove the hymen under local anesthesia. And you will be able to have sex without any painful sensations.
- The first sex without blood and pain
It was already mentioned above that sometimes at the firstThere is no blood or pain during sex at all. It would seem, well, what problem is this? Rejoice and that's it! But not if a woman is expected to be innocent and - proof of this. Which for many centuries has been considered to be blood and pain. And it is very important to explain to a man that their absence does not mean that a woman has sex not for the first time. Firstly, the hymen can be very elastic and stretch without pain and blood for a long time - sometimes right up until the very birth of a woman's child. Secondly, sometimes the hymen ruptures long before a woman decides to have sex - for example, during sports or using tampons.
- Painful sensations during intercourse
Sometimes there are cases when the first sexIt seemed to go well, but the second and third sexual intercourses were also accompanied by discomfort. The pain was not strong, but there was little pleasure. Why does this happen? Most likely, the reason for such discomfort is the girl’s psychological stiffness. As a result, the vaginal walls contract spasmodically and so strongly that painful sensations arise. By the way, sexologists claim that such women have every chance of a bright range of sensations during sex in the future, as soon as they get rid of their psychological barriers. There can be many reasons for such stiffness - this includes psychological unpreparedness for the beginning of sexual life, and unwillingness to have sex with a specific partner or at a specific time, or the place may not be to your liking. A woman’s nature is very delicate and it is difficult to predict what can provoke psychological discomfort. Try to understand this problem yourself by analyzing the situation. Perhaps, during sex, you expect your parents to return or your friends to arrive at any moment? Go to a hotel. Are you ashamed of your figure? Dim the lights, buy some nice lingerie. Are you afraid of your inexperience? Talk to a man, tell him about your fears - he will probably dispel them very quickly. If you can’t cope with the problem on your own, you should seek help from a psychologist. There is no need to be ashamed of this - your well-being directly depends on your peace of mind.
- Lack of orgasm
Often a woman expects from the first nightenchanting sensations and is preparing to see the "sky in diamonds" - that's why she agrees to have sex. But in reality, everything turns out differently - there is no orgasm in sight. And this can be a tragedy for both the man and the woman. However, you should not be upset about this - only a few lucky women manage to achieve orgasm during their first sex. In most cases, in order for your body to learn to enjoy, you need to have sex for a very long time - several months, and in some cases, years. This does not mean that something is wrong with you or your man! Learn to enjoy the process itself and orgasm will not keep you waiting.
Visit the gynecologist!
Another very important nuance - beforeWhen you start having sex, be sure to visit a gynecologist! Of course, this doctor is terrifying even for adult women, not to mention virgins. But it is necessary to do this for a number of the following reasons:
- Health status
Unfortunately, in our time gynecologicaldiseases are found even in little girls and teenagers who are not sexually active. And believe me - if you try to lose your virginity against the background of some inflammatory process, you will remember this night for the rest of your life. And not with pleasant sensations, but with very, very severe pain. Therefore, it would be wiser to first make sure that you are healthy and, if necessary, undergo a course of treatment.
- Hymen Condition
An experienced doctor may find that the hymen is too thick and problems with defloration may arise during a simple examination. The doctor will probably advise you on the best positions and methods of defloration.
- Methods of contraception
By the way, it was with a gynecologistIt is necessary to discuss contraception issues - the doctor will evaluate all the nuances: your age, health condition, etc. - and then select the best option for you. Ideally, the doctor should also warn you that the beginning of sexual activity in most cases radically changes the menstrual cycle. Firstly, the first menstruation after sex will begin with about a week's delay, so you should not worry too much. Although, of course, it would not hurt to take a pregnancy test, even if you used proper contraception. As they say, God protects those who protect themselves. By the way, a visit to the gynecologist after the first sexual intercourse would not be superfluous. Of course, this does not mean that you should run to the clinic as soon as you get out of bed. But after 24 - 24 hours, try to find time and go to the doctor. Of course, only if you do not experience any discomfort - bleeding or severe pain. If you notice these symptoms, go to the doctor as soon as possible - it is necessary to exclude the possibility of injury during sexual intercourse. Fortunately, this happens very, very rarely - usually if the first sexual intercourse was violent. Do not postpone the visit if in a fit of passion you forgot about the need for protection - the doctor will help to correct the situation. Secondly, the menstrual cycle becomes about 20% shorter and much more stable than before the start of sexual activity - almost all women note this. The duration of menstruation also decreases, and the periods themselves become less abundant. And painful sensations, if they were there, become many times weaker, or even disappear altogether. In conclusion, I would like to once again reassure girls who are just about to learn all the intricacies of adult life, including sex - everything is not as scary as their girlfriends say. Remember the three main components of success - health, time and place and, of course, your partner. If you approach this issue wisely, you will only have pleasant memories. We recommend reading:
