"Whatever the child does not teshilos, if only in the hem is notI brought it! "Surely everyone had heard such a joke. However, as they say, every joke has a bit of a joke. Even in the last century, unmarried children and early pregnancies caused a sharply negative attitude of others. And if the attitude to illegitimate children in our time has become more tolerant, then early pregnancy is still from the surrounding people is only a condemnation. Officially, an early pregnancy is a pregnancy that occurs in a girl who has not reached the age of 18. Incidentally, it is for this reason that early pregnancy is very often called adolescent. However, the problem lies not in the fact that the girl at the time of pregnancy has not reached adulthood, but in the fact that most often such a pregnancy is the result of the habitat in which a teenage girl is forced to live. And very rarely it contributes to the well-being of the future baby.
Why is this happening?
Most often, many people see the most important disadvantageearly pregnancy is that the young mothers turn away their relatives and in general all the surrounding people. But this is completely different - to a great regret, from the girl, relatives and friends in most cases turned away long before the onset of pregnancy. And pregnancy in most cases is exactly the consequence of this! Let's try to figure out why early pregnancies arise. So:
- Rape of a girl
Alas, but rape in our time is stillare committed quite often. And in most cases, they are committed not by malicious maniacs, but by male representatives around the girl. Incidentally, including my mother's acquaintances. Whose oversight is that the girl was "spinning" is not in that circle of communication? And in the event that a girl was raped by a stranger on the street, then a natural question arises: why is she alone on the street later? Did not survive the unfavorable home psychological situation? Or parents simply do not care, where and with whom their young daughter? Although, of course, there are really tragic situations when the fault is all an unfortunate coincidence.
- Deviant behavior
Statistics show that much more oftenthe rest are pregnant girls who have contacted the so-called "bad companies". So it is so, but did you ever wonder why a child gets into this same company? Most often this happens if the child is left to himself - as a rule, this happens if the parents all the time devote their work or lead an antisocial way of life. And sometimes it can happen in a completely prosperous family, where the parents keep their daughter in "an iron grip". Excessive severity is also not good, if the parents do not even try to understand their child. And in the end the girl will go to seek understanding on the street. And getting into a bad company is a matter of time.
- Lack of knowledge
No matter how strange it may seem, but veryoften teenage pregnancies are a direct consequence of the girl's lack of basic knowledge. Despite the fact that all information is freely available, many girls are completely illiterate in sexual matters. A recent survey of high school students showed that about 40% of girls sincerely believe that during the first sexual intercourse it is impossible to become pregnant, 25% of girls are sure that erosion after sexual intercourse excludes the possibility of pregnancy. And about 90% of girls are not able to correctly choose the means of contraception. Moreover: most girls are unable to understand in time that they are pregnant - simply do not notice the delay in menstruation, and increase the size of clothing to write off the need to adhere to a strict diet. Unfortunately, this is a completely parental omission. It was in the family that the girl had to tell simple trivial truths. Moreover - the girl should know that she can always consult her mother.
- Planned pregnancy
Yes, yes, do not be surprised! Happens and such - the girl purposefully plans pregnancy. As a rule, this happens in two cases. Firstly, in this way, the girl tries to assert herself - it seems to her that no one likes her and she does not need anyone. And she decides to have a baby, believing that he will always love her. And secondly, in this way, a teenage girl can protest against the excessive, in her opinion, custody of the parents. Like, "stop educating me, I'm already an adult and can myself be a mother!". Of course, pregnancy in this case serves as an extra proof of the girl's infantilism, but not her sanity.
What to do?
All about pregnancy in any case is forwomen with a strong shock - even if she is married and very much waiting for a child. And for a teenage girl, even more so. And as in any emergency, you need to know exactly how to act:
- Consult a doctor!
If the girl had suspicions that shepregnant, in any case, do not waste time and hope for a miracle - it will not "resolve itself". She should go to the doctor-gynecologist as soon as possible. By the way, pay attention to the choice of a doctor. If, after your first words, the doctor sends you to his parents, you can easily look for another doctor. Of course, no serious procedures the doctor without the consent of the parents will not do. But to clarify the presence of pregnancy, to help a girl prepare for the upcoming inevitable conversation with her parents, a good doctor will never refuse.
- Inform the father of the child
Be sure to inform the father of the unborn child. Pregnancy means participation of two parties. So, and joint responsibility.
- Talking with parents
No matter how terrible this conversation did not seem,avoid it will not succeed. So do not overdo it too much - tell your parents everything. Of course, do not expect to be patted over the head. But, most likely, the storm of emotions will soon settle down and parents will eventually understand, forgive and support you.
- Crisis centers
In the event that in the office of his gynecologistthe girl hears taunts or tries to shame her, and it's almost impossible to talk to her parents, the girl can apply for help to one of the crisis centers whose activities are aimed specifically at supporting teenagers. To date, there are similar centers in almost all major cities. Of course, the specialists of this center will not decide for the girl, what decision to take in this situation. But they will support it in any case - provide the necessary information, if necessary, assist in solving medical and domestic issues.
Of course, a girl who got into a similarsituation, will hear a lot of very different advice - from doctors, girlfriends, parents. But it is very important to carefully weigh everything and make your own decision, which does not depend on anyone. Remember - this is yours and only your child. And it is you who will be responsible for the life and well-being of the little man.
Virtually no mother will not receive news ofpregnancy of his young daughter with joy. As a rule, in most cases the first reaction is aggression and numerous accusations against the daughter and the whole surrounding world as a whole. However, Mom should think about - who should be accused of actually? Of course, if you want to find the culprit - you can search for it. But to solve the problem it will not help you. Moreover, most often the main culprits of this phenomenon, as mentioned above, are the parents. And in particular - the mother of the girl. It was her fault that she could not establish a warm and trusting relationship with her daughter. But for teenagers this is very, very important! Incidentally, very often the maternal aggression is also explained by subconscious protests, which it may not even suspect. For example: "I'm still too young and I can not be a grandmother!", "How dare you do something without my knowledge and consent to that!". And if the pregnant grandfather first of all should address for the help to the doctor-gynecologist, then her mother should visit the psychologist. Unfortunately, in most cases all protests of the teenage girl's mother are based only on her subconscious complexes. For example, a woman insists on an abortion even if all objective reasons indicate its inadmissibility. But in fact she is catastrophically afraid to become a grandmother - after all, she is only about 35 years old! Of course, that her whole nature is rebelling against this blatant injustice. Either, for example, a woman is pathologically afraid that with the birth of her own child, her daughter will become independent and will no longer completely and completely belong to her. And it can be the other way round - despite the fact that the girl with all her strength opposes the birth of the child, there are serious pathologies or pregnancy, for example, is the result of violence, her mother insists on the birth of this child. And not always a woman acts for the good of her daughter. Sometimes this decision is dictated by the desire to connect daughters - adolescents on the hands and feet, so that they entirely depend on their parents. And sometimes a young grandmother plans to use the baby as a control lever daughter. Of course, the future grandmother can be indignant at reading these lines. However, do not immediately deny everything and refuse to visit a specialist. A psychologist will help you understand yourself and find a common language with your daughter. As they say, it's never too late to learn. Learn to be a friend of your daughter. After all, she and so now is very difficult - an early pregnancy is a very serious test for teenagers!
In any case, you will have to make a decision -give birth to a child or have an abortion. And in that, and in another case, you need to visit a gynecologist first. The doctor will prescribe the necessary examination and give his recommendations. As a rule, in most cases doctors do not recommend to interrupt the first pregnancy. And this applies not only to adolescents. However, if a decision is made to interrupt pregnancy, it is not worthwhile to delay this unpleasant procedure. Of course, for an organism of teenage girls, any abortion will become a powerful blow. But from two evils it is necessary to choose less - vacuum aspiration will bring much less harm to the organism of a young girl. In addition, it will reduce the likelihood of all kinds of complications, which often develop even in adult women, not to mention adolescents. Although, of course, the final decision regarding the method of abortion will be taken by the doctor. Well, if you decide that the baby has the right to life and decided to give birth, your most loyal ally for the next 9 months should also be a gynecologist. Pregnancy in adolescents has a number of its features, so it should proceed under the strict supervision of a doctor. And the sooner you contact him, the better for you and the future of the crumbs. As a rule, in large cities it is possible to find gynecologists specializing in conducting pregnancy in adolescents. But if you live in a small town, do not despair - for sure you are a local doctor and gynecologist will successfully cope with this task. The earliest pregnancy will be a joyful and exciting event in the life of a young mother if it is in a calm psychological environment, with the support of close people. After all, all life's difficulties, as well as the young age, are temporary. And your baby will become the closest and most loved man for life! And believe me - the pleasure from brilliant sly peepholes, gurgling laughter and a sonorous voice calling "Mom!" Can not be compared with the pleasure of visiting a night club. And education can be obtained and being a mother - there would be a desire. Be happy! We advise you to read: