Any girl wonders: the first sex - it hurts? And it's not surprising, because the loss of virginity - it's not a runny nose. Moreover, the stories of more experienced girlfriends often lead to real horror ... However, do not rush to panic - it will be much wiser to understand this issue in more detail and know what to prepare for. Of course, sex is a manifestation of love, and where love, as you know, does not belong to reason. But sex is also a physiological act. So, it is necessary to provide for all the nuances and make every effort to ensure that your first sex left only pleasant memories. Of course, for the most part it depends on the man, but a woman can greatly influence the process.
With whom to lose virginity?
The first condition necessary for a successful firstsex - this is a decent man. The man who brings to the fore the comfort and convenience of his beloved woman, and not his animal pleasure. After all, from the actions of men directly depends on whether you will be hurt during the first sexual encounter! Exposure, weasel, accuracy, smooth movements - all this will help reduce pain to a possible minimum. Therefore, do not lose your virginity with the first man caught, just because your friends-acquaintances have long done it. Yes, and an occasional acquaintance from the bar will not be the best option - he, by and large, completely spit on your emotional torment and physical condition. Even if you do not believe in big and pure love, as the first sexual partner choose a man who has known for a long time and at least trusts him. So, at the very least, you will experience what to expect from a man. But the nervous tension at times increases pain.
Where to do it?
Not the least role is played by the place where you will beto lose their virginity. The rear seat of a car or a nightclub toilet is the most unfortunate thing you can do. Let it sounds trivial, but to lose virginity is in civilized conditions, without extreme - leave it for later, you will have plenty of time for experiments. A bedroom with a normal bed and access to the bathroom is exactly what you need. And take care to protect yourself from uninvited guests - the bedroom of parents who are at work, is also not the best option. It is better to rent a hotel - share your thoughts with a man.
Remember about contraception
The last thing the girls think about on the eve of the lossvirginity - it's about contraception: too many other fears. And you should never forget about this question, if you do not want to find out soon after the first night that you will soon become a mother. And this is at best. And at worst you have to look for a dermatovenereologist. Remember this before you have sex for the first time. And in any case, do not rely on this question for a man. Of course, it would be logical to assume that it is the man who will take care of your safety. But also too naive - a man may not even think about it. And in the end either a spoiled night, or excess tension. Which, as already mentioned above, will entail an increase in painful feelings, which for the first time and so will not be avoided.
Pose for loss of virginity
If you want to study for the first timesex was not very painful, choose the optimal position for this. Doctors say: a number of sexual positions greatly facilitates the process of defloration:
- The Pose "Jockey"
The girl should spread her legs wide and lay down onbelly, and under the thighs it is desirable to put a small pillow. The man should sit on the woman's thighs and gently enter the penis into the vagina. This position is good because the girl is absolutely relaxed, the muscles of the legs - and therefore the muscles of the vagina - are not at all tense. This ensures the maximum free introduction of the penis. In addition, a man can control every movement, which reduces the risk of partner's pain.
- Pose "Sideways"
A woman lays down on any god and bends her legs inlap. The man kneels next to him and enters the penis into the vagina. If this is uncomfortable for you, you can slightly modernize the pose - the woman pulls the upper leg sideways. The pose is very good, as it has a lot of advantages - first, the partners see each other, and secondly, the muscles of the legs and crotch are completely relaxed and the penis penetrates the vagina almost unhindered. So, it is very painful to have sex for the first time just will not be - perhaps, only slightly unpleasant.
- The Pose "Missionary"
If you can not calm down in any way and a womanjust harasses the idea that the first time to have sex will not just hurt, but it is unbearably painful, it is best to give preference to the good old missionary posture. From the point of view of physiology, it is not particularly noteworthy - moreover, it is simply necessary to first place a pillow under your thighs to facilitate penetration of the penis. But from the psychological point of view, it's better not to imagine a pose. Partners have the opportunity to maintain eye contact, a woman at a subconscious level feels a sense of security, a man can kiss her unhindered. By the way, sexologists say that this position is most often used to deprive virginity.
If a man is confident in his endurance, for deprivationvirginity can use the doggy-style pose, and its improved version - a woman should kneel beside the bed and lay down on her breast, spread her legs widely. The man kneels behind the woman and enters the penis into the vagina. Plus this posture is that the hymen is as tight and torn as easily as possible. But once again, the self-control of a man is very important, because sharp movements can harm a woman.
What else do you need to know?
The hymen itself is not specialan obstacle for the first sex, because it is just the thinnest septum that covers the entrance to the vagina. And she covers this input only partially. And the rupture of the hymen during the first sex causes only slight painful sensations. So why do many women complain about their first sex that they are very hurt? Gynecologists assert that these painful sensations arise because of the fact that the entrance to the vagina is still extremely narrow. And in the overwhelming majority of cases, one more factor is added - too strong spasms of the muscles of the vagina, which arise because of the emotional excitement of the woman. Very many girls are afraid not only of what will be very painful, but also that there will be a lot of blood. In fact, this is not the case at all - in most cases, a woman gets rid of a few drops of blood. And in some cases of blood during the first sex does not happen at all - this is also a variant of the norm and not a cause for concern. True, it should be noted that sometimes blood can be observed several days after the first sex - this is also perfectly normal. Of course, if there is not a lot of blood, copious bleeding is a signal that something is wrong with the body and requires an immediate call to a gynecologist. Do not have sex again immediately after the first time - ideally, you need to wait a few days. Despite the fact that the rupture of the hymen is not a serious trauma and in general the process is physiological, it will take at least three days to heal. So patience, patience and once again patience - then it will pay off with interest.
Very rarely, but still there are cases whenattempts to engage in first sex turn into problems. To be frightened it is not necessary - they are quite easy solvable. However, it is still worth knowing about possible pitfalls, so that later sex does not cause you negative emotions - this is fraught with serious psychological problems. For the first time - he is the most important.
Vaginismus doctors call such a process, withwhich the muscles of the vagina greatly reduce and make it impossible to introduce the penis. There are two types of vaginismus - true and psychological. True vaginismus is extremely rare - in about 3% of all cases and cope with it is possible only with the help of an experienced specialist. All independent attempts are doomed to failure in advance. Especially when it comes to first sex. Fortunately, in most cases, you can cope with the problem yourself - of course, with the active participation of men. Prolonged preliminary caresses, extra lubrication and, most importantly, a lot of patience will necessarily defeat the problem. But notice - the result will only be if the woman next to her is her favorite person. By the way, very often vaginismus is a subconscious reaction of the female psyche to an attempt to lose virginity with an unloved person.
- Severe pain when trying to have sex
In the event that it is very painful at the timeattempts to introduce a member into the vagina for the first time, there is a high probability that the girl has a hard and / or thick hymen. In such cases, to deprive virginity will have to have sex more than once. But if the situation does not change after the fourth or fifth attempt, it will be most reasonable to turn to a gynecologist. He quickly and painlessly removes the hymen under local anesthesia. And you can have sex without any pain.
- The first sex without blood and pain
It has already been mentioned that sometimes during the first sexblood, as well as painful sensations, does not happen at all. It would seem, well, what is the problem? Rejoice and only! But not in the case if a woman is expected to have innocence and ... evidence of this. For many centuries it is considered blood and pain. And it is very important to explain to a man that their absence does not mean that sex is not the first time a woman has had sex. First, the hymen can be very elastic and stretch without pain and blood for a long time - sometimes right up until the birth of a child's child. Secondly, sometimes the rupture of the hymen occurs long before the woman decided to have sex - for example, while doing sports or using hygiene tampons.
- Painful sensations during intercourse
Sometimes there are times when the first sexpassed like a normal, but the second and third sexual intercourse are also accompanied by uncomfortable sensations. The pain is not strong, but it is not pleasant. Why is this happening? Most likely, the cause of this discomfort is the psychological stiffness of the girl. As a result, the walls of the vagina are spasmodically reduced and so much that painful sensations arise. By the way, sexologists assert that such women have all the chances for a bright range of sensations during sex in the future, as soon as they get rid of their psychological barriers. The reasons for this stiffness can be quite a lot - it's also psychological unpreparedness for the beginning of sexual activity, and unwillingness to have sex with a particular partner or at a particular time or place may not like it. The woman's nature is very subtle and difficult to predict, which can provoke psychological discomfort. Try to understand this problem yourself, by analyzing the situation. Perhaps, during sex, do you at any moment expect the return of the parents or the arrival of friends? Go to the hotel. Shy of your figure? Muffle the light, buy beautiful clothes. Are you afraid of your inexperience? Talk to the man, tell him about your fears - surely he will disperse them very quickly. If you can not cope with the problem on your own, it's worth asking for help from a psychologist. This should not be embarrassed - your well-being depends directly on your peace of mind.
- Lack of orgasm
Often a woman expects from the first nightenchanting sensations and is preparing to see "the sky in diamonds" - that's why he agrees to have sex. But in reality everything turns out differently - there is no orgasm in sight. And this can be a tragedy for both men and women. However, do not be upset about this - to achieve orgasm with the first sex can only a few lucky ones. In most cases, in order for your body to learn to have fun, you need to have sex for a very long time - a few months, and in some cases, years. This does not mean that something is wrong with you or your man! Learn to enjoy the process itself and orgasm will not make you wait.
Visit the gynecologist!
Another very important nuance - beforesexual life must visit a gynecologist! Of course, this doctor horrifies even adult women, not to mention virgins. But this is necessary for a number of reasons:
- Health status
Unfortunately, in our time, gynecologicaldiseases are found even in small girls and adolescents who do not live sexually. And believe me - if you try to lose your virginity against the background of some inflammatory process, you will remember this night for the rest of your life. And not at all pleasant sensations, but very, very strong pain. Therefore, it will be more reasonable to first make sure that you are healthy and, if necessary, to undergo a course of treatment.
- Hymen Condition
An experienced physician at a simple examination may find that the hymen is too thick and problems may arise with defloration. The doctor will certainly advise you on the best poses and ways of defloration.
- Methods of contraception
Incidentally, it is with the doctor-gynecologistit is necessary to discuss contraceptive issues - the doctor will assess all the nuances: your age, your health and others - and then choose the best option for you. Ideally, the doctor should also warn you that the onset of sexual activity in most cases radically changes the menstrual cycle. First, the first menstruation after sex will begin about a week later, so you should not worry too much. Although, of course, the pregnancy test does not hurt, even if you are properly protected. As they say, God protects the treasured. By the way, after the first sexual intercourse, a visit to the gynecologist will not be superfluous. Of course, this does not mean that you hardly have to get out of bed, you must run to a clinic. But after a day - two try to find time and go to the doctor. Of course, only in the event that you do not experience any discomfort - bleeding or strong pain. If you notice these symptoms, go to the doctor as soon as possible - you must exclude the possibility of injury during intercourse. Fortunately, this happens very, very rarely - as a rule, if the first sexual intercourse was violent. Do not postpone the visit and in the event that in a fit of passion you forgot about the need for protection - the doctor will help to correct the situation. Secondly, the menstrual cycle becomes approximately 20% shorter and much more stable than before the onset of sexual activity - this is noted by almost all women. The duration of menstruation also decreases, and the monthly ones become less abundant. Yes, and painful sensations, if they were, become at times weaker, or even completely disappear. In conclusion, I would like to reassure the girls who only have to learn all the subtleties of adult life, including sex - everything is not as scary as the girlfriends say. Remember the three main components of success - health, time and place and, of course, your partner. If you approach this question sensibly, you will have only pleasant memories. We advise you to read: