“Whatever the child may amuse himself with, as long as there is no lining in his lapbrought!" Surely everyone has heard such a joke. However, as they say, there is a grain of truth in every joke. Even in the last century, illegitimate children and early pregnancies caused a sharply negative attitude from others. And if the attitude towards illegitimate children has become more tolerant in our time, then early pregnancy still causes only condemnation from others. Officially, early pregnancy is a pregnancy that occurs in a girl who has not reached the age of 18. By the way, it is for this reason that early pregnancy is often called teenage. However, the problem is not at all that the girl has not reached the age of majority at the time of pregnancy, but that most often such a pregnancy is the result of the habitat in which the teenage girl is forced to live. And very rarely does this contribute to the well-being of the future baby.
Why is this happening?
Most often, many people see the most importantthe downside of early pregnancy is that the young mother will be abandoned by her family and all the people around her. But this is absolutely not true - unfortunately, in most cases, the girl's family and friends have abandoned her long before she became pregnant. And pregnancy in most cases is precisely the result of this! Let's try to figure out why early pregnancies occur. So:
- Rape of a girl
Unfortunately, rape is still a common occurrence in our time.are committed quite often. And in most cases they are committed not by evil maniacs, but by male representatives of the girl's surroundings. Incidentally, including her mother's friends. Whose oversight is it that the girl "moved" in the wrong social circle? And even if a girl was raped by a stranger on the street, a logical question immediately arises - why is she alone on the street at a late hour? Couldn't stand the unfavorable psychological environment at home? Or do the parents simply not care where and with whom their underage daughter is? Although, of course, there are truly tragic situations when an unfortunate combination of circumstances is to blame.
- Deviant behavior
Statistics show that much more oftenThe rest of the girls who get pregnant are those who get involved with the so-called "bad crowd". That's true, but have you ever wondered why a child ends up in this very crowd? Most often, this happens when a child is left to his own devices - as a rule, this happens when parents devote all their time to work or lead an asocial lifestyle. And sometimes this can happen in a completely prosperous family, where parents keep their daughter in an "iron fist". Excessive strictness is also not good if the parents do not even try to understand their child. And in the end, the girl will go looking for understanding on the street. And getting into bad company is a matter of time.
- Lack of knowledge
As strange as it may seem, it is veryOften teenage pregnancies are a direct consequence of the girl's lack of basic knowledge. Despite the fact that all the information is freely available, many girls are completely illiterate in sexual matters. A recent survey of high school girls showed that about 40% of girls sincerely believe that it is impossible to get pregnant during the first sexual intercourse, 25% of girls are sure that washing after intercourse eliminates the possibility of pregnancy. And about 90% of girls are not able to choose the right means of contraception. Moreover: most girls are not able to understand in time that they are pregnant - they simply do not notice a delay in menstruation, and attribute the increase in clothing size to the need to adhere to a strict diet. Unfortunately, this is entirely a parental omission. It is in the family that the girl should have been told simple truisms. Moreover, the girl should know that she can always consult with her mother.
- Planned pregnancy
Yes, yes, don't be surprised!Sometimes this happens – a girl deliberately plans a pregnancy. As a rule, this happens in two cases. Firstly, the girl tries to assert herself in this way – she thinks that no one loves her and no one needs her. And she decides to have a child, believing that he will always love her. And secondly, in this way a teenage girl can protest against what she considers excessive care from her parents. Like, “stop raising me, I’m already an adult and I can be a mother myself!” Of course, pregnancy in such a case serves as additional proof of the girl’s infantilism, but not of her common sense.
What to do?
Everything about pregnancy is for you anywaywomen a strong shock - even if she is married and expecting a child. And for a teenage girl, even more so. And as in any emergency, you need to know exactly what to do:
- Consult a doctor!
If a girl has suspicions that shepregnant, in no case should you waste time and hope for a miracle - it will not "resolve" itself. She should contact a gynecologist as soon as possible. By the way, pay attention to the choice of doctor. If after your first words the doctor sends you to get your parents, you can safely look for another doctor. Of course, the doctor will not do any serious procedures without the consent of the parents. But a good doctor will never refuse to clarify the presence of pregnancy, to help the girl prepare for the upcoming inevitable conversation with her parents.
- Inform the father of the child
Be sure to inform the father of the future child. Pregnancy involves two parties. And therefore, joint responsibility.
- Talking with parents
As scary as this conversation may seem,you won't be able to avoid it. So don't delay too much - tell your parents everything. Of course, you shouldn't expect them to pat you on the head. But most likely, the storm of emotions will soon subside and your parents will eventually understand, forgive and support you.
- Crisis centers
In the event that in your gynecologist's officethe girl hears ridicule or they try to shame her, and it is almost impossible to talk to her parents, the girl can seek help in one of the crisis centers, whose activities are aimed specifically at supporting teenagers. Today, such centers exist in almost all large cities. Of course, the specialists of this center will not decide for the girl what decision to make in this situation. But they will support her in any case - they will provide the necessary information, if necessary, help in solving medical and everyday issues.
- Decision-making
Of course, a girl who finds herself in such a situationsituation, will hear a lot of different advice - from doctors, friends, parents. But it is very important to carefully weigh everything and make your own decision, independent of anyone. Remember - this is your and only your child. And it is you who will be responsible for the life and well-being of the little person.
Young grandmother
Almost no mother will accept the newsabout the pregnancy of her young daughter with joy. As a rule, in most cases, the first reaction is aggression and numerous accusations against the daughter and the entire world in general. However, the mother should think about who should really be blamed? Of course, if you want to find the culprit, you can look for him. But this will not help you solve the problem. Moreover, most often the main culprits of such a phenomenon, as mentioned above, are the parents. And in particular - the girl's mother. It is her fault that she failed to establish a warm and trusting relationship with her daughter. But for teenagers this is very, very important! By the way, very often maternal aggression is also explained by subconscious protests that she may not even suspect. For example: "I'm still too young and can't be a grandmother!", "How dare you do something without my knowledge and consent!" And if a pregnant grandfather should first seek help from a gynecologist, then her mother should visit a psychologist. Unfortunately, in most cases, all the protests of the mother of a teenage girl are based only on her subconscious complexes. For example, a woman insists on an abortion even if all the objective reasons indicate its inadmissibility. But in fact, she is catastrophically afraid of becoming a grandmother - after all, she is only about 35 years old! Of course, her whole being rebels against this blatant injustice. Or, for example, a woman is pathologically afraid that with the birth of her own child, her daughter will become independent and will no longer belong to her entirely. And it can be the other way around - despite the fact that the girl is resisting the birth of the child with all her might, there are serious pathologies or the pregnancy, for example, is the result of violence, her mother insists on the birth of this child. And not always does a woman act for the good of her daughter. Sometimes this decision is dictated by the desire to tie her teenage daughters hand and foot, so that they are completely dependent on their parents. And sometimes a young grandmother plans to use the baby as a lever to control her daughter. Of course, the future grandmother may be indignant after reading these lines. However, you should not immediately deny everything and refuse to visit a specialist. A psychologist will help you understand yourself and find a common language with your daughter. As they say, it is never too late to learn. Learn to be your daughter's friend. After all, she is already having a very hard time - early pregnancy is a very serious test for teenagers!
Medical aspect
In any case, you will have to make a decision -give birth to a child or have an abortion. In both cases, you must first visit a gynecologist. The doctor will prescribe the necessary examination and give his recommendations. As a rule, in most cases, doctors strongly advise against terminating the first pregnancy. And this applies not only to teenagers. However, if a decision has been made to terminate a pregnancy, you should not delay this unpleasant procedure. Of course, any abortion will be a strong blow to the body of teenage girls. But you need to choose the lesser of two evils - vacuum aspiration will cause much less harm to the body of a young girl. In addition, it will reduce the likelihood of developing all sorts of complications, which very often develop even in adult women, not to mention teenagers. Although, of course, the final decision regarding the method of terminating the pregnancy will be made by the doctor. Well, if you have decided that the baby has the right to life and have decided to give birth, your most faithful ally for the next 9 months should also be a gynecologist. Pregnancy in adolescents has a number of its own characteristics, so it should proceed under the strict supervision of a doctor. And the sooner you contact him, the better for you and the future baby. As a rule, in large cities you can find gynecologists who specialize in the management of pregnancy in adolescents. But if you live in a small town, do not despair - your local gynecologist will surely cope with this task successfully. The earliest pregnancy will become a joyful and exciting event in the life of a young mother if it occurs in a calm psychological environment, with the support of loved ones. After all, all life's difficulties, as well as young age, are a temporary phenomenon. And your baby will become the dearest and closest person for life! And believe me - the pleasure of sparkling sly eyes, ringing laughter and a ringing voice calling "Mom!" does not compare with the pleasure of visiting a nightclub. And you can get an education while being a mother - if you want to. Be happy! We advise you to read:
