For several decades now, sexologists,Psychologists and ordinary people are racking their brains over the question: what is the most ideal age difference between a man and a woman? Some argue that for complete happiness, a husband and wife should be the same age, some advocate a difference of 4-5 years, and some are sure that family well-being does not depend at all on how much older or younger one of the spouses is. Agree, despite the persistent public opinion that it is not proper for young girls to marry older men, and for guys to marry “grown-up ladies”, we can all give a couple of examples of quite happy unions of people with a large age difference. And neither the opinions of sociologists nor the devastating articles in fashion magazines interfere with them: they live quite happily, to the envy of other, more equal in age marriages. However, no matter how you look at it, such marriages are rather an exception, although one that confirms the rule. No matter how loyal we are to age-differing marriages, we still consider more traditional options for ourselves and our loved ones. Who wants their own child to join their life with a person 20 years older than themselves? And we ourselves, when choosing a life partner much older or younger than ourselves, are afraid deep down that such a union will not bring anything good. Why? There are quite a few reasons, and in addition to the minuses, of course, there are also pluses. Let's talk about how the age difference can affect a marriage.
Male 5-6 years older
It is believed that 5-6 years is the optimal ageage difference between spouses. In this situation, a man who has managed to gain some life experience already approaches the issue of relationships in marriage more responsibly. Married couples with such a difference have more children than other unions, this has been proven by many sociological studies. Indeed, only by the age of forty do representatives of the stronger sex begin to treat their fatherhood consciously, which allows a woman to give birth to not one, but several children. Couples of the same age or unions with a large age difference often lack either the financial means or the desire to have many children. From childhood, we accustom boys to the idea that they should start a family only when they get on their feet and are able to provide for their future wife and children financially. Having realized that a successful man should plant a tree, build a house and raise a son, guys are not particularly eager to tie the knot until a certain moment. According to statistics, most men decide to start a family at about 30 years old, and they choose a wife several years younger than themselves. And these marriages are considered the strongest and most successful, because their existence is not hampered by either differences in interests between the spouses or the lack of “initial capital”, since by that time men usually receive a certain financial independence.
A man 10-15 years older
Society is quite tolerant of marriages wherethe man is no more than 10 years older than the woman. If the age difference is greater, then the attitude towards such marriages is rather negative. Perhaps this is just a stereotype of thinking, because during the Soviet Union, it was precisely marriages of equal age that were welcomed, and any deviations from the norm were considered indecent. Now families where the age difference between a man and a woman is 10 years are becoming increasingly popular. By a certain age, a man has time to build a career and stop depending on the opinions of relatives in relation to his own family. More experience than a young wife allows him to build relationships not so much on emotions as on an understanding of female psychology. A husband who is 10 years older than his wife has much less chance of making those stupid mistakes that are so typical of young guys at the beginning of a family relationship. They are more tolerant of the shortcomings of their other half, wiser in everyday life and resolving conflict situations. In addition, their sexual experience allows them to keep their beloved woman close, giving her quite “mature” pleasure in bed.
Male 20 years older
For a couple of hundred years it was quite natural,when a young girl married a man old enough to be her father. Such marriages were expected to bring stability and material well-being. Now the situation has changed radically. Now the rule of agreeing on marriages between parents is a thing of the past, girls choose their partners themselves. And if a young lady decides to connect her life with an older man, then she is immediately bombarded with accusations - from her stupidity to her commercialism. Few can believe in true, selfless love between a young beauty and an aging man. Many scientists have concluded that such an age-unequal marriage can shorten the life of the spouses: constant gossip, rumors and the general negative attitude of others cause stress in the husband and wife, which does not have the best effect on their health. On the other hand, a man over forty, who married a very young girl, suddenly begins to look and feel much younger than his years. It is as if he feeds on her youth and energy, throwing off a decade from himself. The same cannot be said about his wife. As a rule, a woman who lives in a marriage with a man much older than herself begins to fade before our eyes. On the one hand, she subconsciously strives to outwardly match the age of her spouse, on the other hand, the energy "feeding" of her husband does not pass without a trace, and the girl begins to age rapidly. Of course, a partner of a respectable age has both experience and an advantageous financial position, but the hour is not far off when from an attractive man with a slight gray hair at the temples a person will turn into an old man with all the ensuing consequences. Unfortunately, many girls are not able to realistically assess their chances of spending their whole life with an elderly husband, caring for his health and tolerating his senile quirks. And they will undoubtedly appear - age will make itself felt. You will have to put up with the need to lead the lifestyle of your husband and forget about a full-fledged sex life. Of course, you can always have a lover; but what kind of marriage is that? In addition, the chances of having a bunch of kids for such ladies will tend to zero, since these days most elderly men have real problems with the ability to conceive. Of course, there are happy exceptions, but they are quite rare. In real life, few older men are ready to continue their offspring, and more than once. Not only is it physically difficult, but by a certain age they usually have children from other marriages. Why should they take on all these difficulties in their old age - sleepless nights, diapers and undershirts? Despite all these seemingly insurmountable obstacles, happy marriages, where the husband is 20 years or more older than the wife, do exist. True love works wonders, and many girls do not regret their choice at all. But for this, the decision on such a marriage must be balanced: a woman must understand what she gains and what she loses thanks to such a union.
Woman older than 5 years
Although many people frown with disdain when they hear about itIn a marriage where a woman is older than her husband, such families are far from uncommon. At least because 5 years or a little more is not such a big age difference. Especially if such a marriage is concluded by people over 30 years old. In youth, 5 years in favor of a girl seem like an insurmountable obstacle, in a more mature age such a difference is almost imperceptible. Moreover, it has many advantages. A woman who is older than her husband tries her best to look young and attractive, so that her husband does not become interested in some other young creature. Such a wife is both more experienced and wiser than her partner, which helps her to relate more easily to ordinary household troubles and minor quarrels. In addition, it is known that it is after 30 that a woman's sexuality blossoms, which a young husband is quite capable of satisfying. However, such a marriage also has its disadvantages. It would seem that an insignificant difference of 5 years can make a woman become jealous and suspicious, because the fear of aging before her partner and seeming uninteresting and unsexy to him is quite great.
Woman older than 10 years
Such marriages are quite rare, because menof almost any age prefer girls younger than themselves. And the older they get, the more young girls attract them. This is how nature created them: men are males who spend their entire lives trying to prove to themselves and others that they are the most courageous, the strongest and the sexiest. And what can emphasize a man's status better than a young beauty looking adoringly into his eyes? That is why cases when guys fall in love with women 10 years older than themselves and marry them are not so common. Nevertheless, such marriages do exist, and among them there are many happy ones. For a marriage where the wife is 10 years older than her husband to be happy, love alone is not enough. Unfortunately, love - the kind that happens at the very beginning of a relationship - quickly passes. And then the married couple has to face a huge number of difficulties. This is the usual grinding of characters for any marriage, and the trials of everyday difficulties, and the problem of the wife's noticeable aging. Unfortunately, you can't escape nature, and at a certain age it becomes impossible to hide wrinkles and other signs of aging. Any woman begins to feel anxious, comparing herself with still young women, the same age as her husband. In addition, it is very difficult to survive the negative reaction of others to the fact that the wife is 10 years older than her husband. Men are most often looked at with bewilderment: like, couldn't he find someone younger? Women in such a situation are almost directly accused of shamelessness and stupidity: "You've gone completely crazy! He'll leave you in a couple of years!" Not every couple is able to survive such pressure from loved ones and strangers, many simply break down and separate after a series of ridicule and accusations. Despite all this, many couples, where the wife is 10 years older than her husband, manage to build long-term, harmonious relationships. If people have a common goal, if they are both passionate about something and have immense respect for each other, then they certainly have a chance to create a happy family.
Female older than 20 years
It is clear to everyone what drives a woman who wantsMarry a man 20 years younger than yourself. You want to feel attractive and loved at any age. Besides, no one has canceled the saying "At 45, a woman is a berry again." At this age, a mature, interesting woman is quite capable of turning the head of a young gentleman. But you need to understand that few young men who do not suffer from the Oedipus complex are capable of spending their entire lives with an aging lady. Here, either the guy has a mercantile interest that makes him close his eyes to his wife's appearance, or an internal psychological problem. Both are of little help to a happy marriage. We all watch with curiosity the news about famous women of a respectable age who change men like gloves. Both in our country and abroad there are quite a lot of ladies who are not hindered by an age difference of 20 years or more in creating a family. But it is quite difficult to say about such couples "they lived happily ever after", simply because there are only a few examples. We can recall only a few historical examples of such happy marriages, where the spouses overcame all the difficulties of unequal age and were happy. For example, the famous Anna Kern (the one to whom Pushkin dedicated his poems) married Alexander Markov-Vinogradsky, who was exactly 20 years younger than her. They lived together for 40 years and died in the same year. Or Edith Piaf, whose last love was the young Theophanis Lamboukas, 20 years younger than her. A year after the wedding, the singer died, leaving her lover with nothing but debts, but at the end of her life he adored his Edith and literally carried her in his arms (she could not walk). Yes, such marriages can be happy, but very, very rarely. Sometimes spouses of the same age file for divorce a year after the wedding, and a completely unequal marriage in age, which by all the rules should not be successful, exists for many, many years. Perhaps the optimal age difference is a deeply subjective concept, and everyone has their own. The main thing is love, mutual respect and a similar view of the world, and then even the biggest age difference will not prevent your man from being the best husband in the world. We recommend reading:
