Treason to her husband: the causes and consequences of women's reality

From your earliest childhood you knew thatcheating is not good. That adultery is betrayal, treachery, a knife in the back. You have sadly noted that public opinion is very tolerant of male infidelity, listened to sad reasoning about how all men are the same and that they all cheat on their wives. Internally, you were even preparing yourself for the fact that such a story could happen in your life, when your beloved man commits adultery with another woman. But you could not imagine that you yourself would be the one who cheated. That you would destroy your previous relationship with your husband by cheating on him with another man. What happens in the soul of a woman who has committed such an act? Remorse, shame, fear of losing her husband? Or does cheating entail triumph and joy from what she has done? It all depends on the situation and on what led this woman to cheat. Now we will not talk about those young ladies who easily go into sexual contact with other men, despite their status as married women. It doesn’t matter at all whether it’s an official marriage or a civil one – the main thing is that the girl is not free. We will talk about those women for whom cheating is an event that can change their life. Before wringing your hands and lamenting “what have I done”, try to calm down and understand the objective reason for your actions. Even if everything happened spontaneously, even if after a good dose of alcohol – your cheating on your husband still has a deep background. In order to move on and decide what to do with your life, you simply need to put everything on the shelves. It will be simply ideal if you reflect away from your husband, since the feeling of remorse will not give you the opportunity to concentrate and think logically. Find a reason to leave home for a couple of days in order to think everything over.

Why did you change

It is believed that all women are divided into 2categories: those who are good and faithful, and those who are bad and cheating. Most often, society treats with disdain women who decide to "go left", but there are situations when such behavior can be justified. Life sometimes presents surprises, and female infidelity no longer causes censure, but approval and even loud applause. From other women, of course, because men will never approve of such an act. Even if they themselves regularly "relax" on the side, even if their girlfriends are married ladies, they will still beat their fists in the chest and shout that any woman who cheats is the last bitch. But we know that there are situations when fidelity to a husband is not the main sign of virtue. So what can lead a woman to such a situation when she forgets her vows of fidelity and cheats on her husband with another man?

The desire for novelty Speaking about novelty, it is not at allThis refers to the change of sexual partners as such. Women perceive intimacy not only as the act itself, but as a set of all the actions leading to it. Living with the same man for a long time, many girls stop feeling desirable. Sex eventually turns into a routine, there are no more compliments, no hot looks full of passion. And most importantly, those magical "butterflies in the stomach" that used to appear with just one touch to the husband have long since disappeared without a trace. And what about without butterflies? And if suddenly with some man a woman suddenly experiences a well-forgotten feeling of sexual arousal, then there is a chance that she will not resist. As a result - betrayal, and then - deep remorse. And resisting in such a situation is not only possible, but also necessary. Even if we assume that betrayal and crazy passion for a lover will lead to a break with her husband, if a woman starts living with a new partner, then where is the guarantee that in a couple of years the situation will not repeat itself? What if this sexual macho will eventually undergo a metamorphosis and he will stop seeing his recent lover as a sex bomb, but only as a mistress and mother of his children? Cheating again, searching for new experiences? It's just that any relationship needs to be worked on, and if you get bored with your husband in bed, then the situation needs to be corrected together. There are many ways to revive the old passion, but none of them say that the solution can be cheating. Because it's a road to nowhere.

Sexual impotence of the husband Alas, in our time everythingmore men suffer from impotence in bed. And if earlier problems with potency were experienced more and more by men "almost retired", now no one will be surprised if even a thirty-year-old guy is not sexually successful. What is to blame - ecology, a sedentary lifestyle or stress - it does not matter, the main thing is that the wives of such men have a hard time. It is hard to love a man and not experience any physical pleasures with him. Over time, nervous scandals begin, headaches, depression sets in. And the husband understands perfectly well that he is the culprit of such a state of his wife, and this painful feeling makes him suffer no less. And if a woman decides to cheat, then this does not bring her much happiness. Although she will improve her health, mental anguish will bring her a lot of grief, because cheating is still betrayal. If cheating - not for you, but you only cry into your pillow and do not try to help your partner in any way, then he married you in vain. You should not let such things slide, you need to urgently go to the doctor and start treatment. Of course, few men will voluntarily agree to go to the clinic and make public their "vice" to some strangers in white coats. But that's why you are a wife, to lure your husband to see a doctor with affection, or even cunning. The sooner you start acting, the more chances you have to achieve positive results. If one clinic doesn't work, go to another, try everything - from potions and injections to acupuncture. Believe me, if you don't sit back and do nothing, but act, the result will definitely appear. And then you will no longer need other men - your own will be enough.

Curiosity You'd be surprised how muchwomen made love "on the side" out of simple curiosity. You quickly get used to your husband and know him inside out, but strangers who cast interested glances at you are unexplored mysteries. Look, your girlfriends have acquired lovers, and now they have blossomed and become prettier, so why not try? So such women decide to commit adultery in order to tickle their nerves and be "like everyone else". For them, cheating is not a vice, but a way to get as many impressions from life as possible. Most likely, this happens due to a lack of love for their husband. If there is no feeling of boundless happiness from the fact that every night you go to bed with the same man, if his touch is just part of your marital duty, then cheating is not far away. Perhaps you got married too early and "didn't have enough fun", or maybe you are fed up with everyday life and want new sensations. But all this means that you simply don't love your man. So why continue to live with him under the same roof, betraying and deceiving? Wouldn't it be better to go in search of a person you wouldn't want to cheat on?

Revenge Most often, women take revenge on their husbands by cheating,if they find out about their husband's infidelity. It is not surprising, because it is not easy to understand that your spouse has trampled on all that is bright and beautiful in your relationship. First - shock, then tears, despair, depression. And, as a result, the "bright" thought of paying your husband back in the same coin - sleeping with someone on the side. Many women are sure that cheating on an unfaithful husband is the only way to free themselves from the feeling of humiliation of their own dignity, that in such a simple way they will punish the traitor and win the "battle of the sexes". Here, everything depends on whether you want to save the family and continue your relationship with your man. No - you have the right to look for another option, but it is better to have sex with him after you stop living with your husband. This will be much more honest and noble, at least your decency will do you credit. If you hope to punish your husband, hurt him, but are not going to break up with him, then it is better to give up your insidious plans. The chances that a man will find out about your betrayal are not so small, and it is unlikely that he will forgive you for it. It will be useless to prove who started it first - your relationship will change once and for all. Your betrayal will destroy the last brick on which trusting relationships in the family were built. Even if you manage to save the marriage after this, the former happiness will no longer exist.

A tyrant husband This is precisely the reason,when it is very difficult to condemn a woman for cheating. No, we do not encourage anyone to commit such acts, just think about this. If a husband beats his wife, offends children, if he is constantly under the influence of alcohol and never tires of insulting and humiliating his woman, will cheating on the part of a woman be a crime? A rare case, you say? Not at all. You cannot even imagine how many families live in such relationships. And it is not at all necessary for the wife to be a downtrodden, exhausted by life poor thing. Sometimes completely successful, beautiful ladies with a sense of self-worth also find themselves in such situations. But they cannot leave their tyrant husband for a number of reasons. Most often, they tolerate such an attitude because of insecurity in their abilities and fear of being left alone. But if suddenly the cards fell in such a way that a woman met another man, if she decided to give herself to him - well, it is her right. Perhaps this is the first step to freeing herself from the shackles that bind her and leaving her husband who causes only pain and suffering. The compassionate persuasion of her girlfriends and clever books did not help - so maybe circumstances will give her the strength to leave the tyrant.

Tell her husband about treason

Here again, it all depends on whether you want ityou save the family. You need to know the psychology of men to understand that they do not forgive betrayal. Confident that God himself created them polygamous and that betrayal on their part is just a prank that should not be given importance, they have a completely different attitude to female adultery. Men compete with each other all their lives for the right to be considered the strongest, the most successful. And in relation to sexual victories, this rule does not change. For a man, being a cuckold is the same as declaring to the whole world that he is a loser. "I cheat - I have a woman myself, if they cheat on me - they have me" - this is approximately the postulate of any man. In addition, it has long been known that female infidelity is much more dangerous than male. Not more immoral and not dirtier, but more dangerous. A man who has an affair on the side thinks with the "brain" that is below his belt. It may never occur to him to leave his wife for another woman, because for him cheating is just another way to assert himself. With a woman, everything is much more complicated, because she is not looking for sex, but a relationship. And ordinary cheating can end with her simply leaving her husband for her lover. This is another reason to keep silent about the adultery that happened and not give your husband a reason to think that you no longer value him. Of course, you are tormented by remorse, and the memory of the terrible act lies like a stone on your soul. But if you want to ease your conscience and honestly admit to your husband about cheating, it will not make you feel better. Even if after this you save the relationship, no one will trust you anymore. Hurtful words about your past betrayal will escape from your husband during every quarrel, he will remind you of the offense until the end of his days. Even if he swears that he has forgiven you and will not raise this topic again. If you understand that you do not want to continue the relationship with your husband, you can tell him everything. Although it would be much more merciful to just pack your things and leave, without involving him in these unpleasant details. Here you will kill two birds with one stone: spare his pride and save face, remaining a faithful and decent person in his eyes. After all, you once chose this man as your husband, which means he was very dear to you. So why twist the knife in his wound at the end, telling him about the betrayal? It does not matter whether you want to leave your husband or not, in any case, you need to understand yourself. At least so that such a story does not repeat itself in the future. Cheating is a situation that can destroy everything that was dear to you in a relationship with a man. After all, it is very difficult for us women to feel happy next to a person whom we ourselves betrayed. We advise you to read: