Break in the relationship

Virtually in every pair, whether it's a pairlovers or a married couple, one day there comes a time when partners begin to doubt the correctness of their choice. And it's good, if these doubts lead to a positive rethinking of the connection, the partner is seen even better than before, and the relationship is strengthened. But in fact, there often happens a break in the relationship, which can drag on and end, in the end, a complete break. And he often causes suffering, because if we spend a long time together with a person, it seems to sprout in us, strengthening somewhere inside the roots. Such a partner, despite all the disagreements, still remains close and somewhere even native. How to be in this case? How to restore a relationship, if you regret the break, and whether it is worth restoring them? Let's try to figure it all out.

Relations after parting

Relations after parting with a former loveror spouse may be different. They largely depend on the cause of the gap and on how this separation happened. For some couples, the break occurred as a result of the crisis in the relationship, some due to the fact that the love really left, and some due to the betrayal of one of the partners. Anyway, there are no "former" people in our life. It is proved by the experience of many rasstavshihsya pairs. Even if we are offended by a person for hurting or humiliating, it is very difficult to get rid of the feeling of ownership of it. It can be present in us for many years even when a new companion of life is next. Statistics argue that more than half of broken couples do not at all refuse even sexual relations after parting. This is understandable, because the pain of loss repeatedly amplifies emotions. And the former husband and wife or beloved hurl themselves into each other's arms, inflicting further great sufferings upon themselves. But you can avoid suffering if you call on the mind to help and re-reunite or part forever! And the relationship with the ex-husband, and the relationship with the former guy does not pass without a trace, and in many cases they can and must be restored. Because we are already aware of the shortcomings of our partner and are quite capable of putting up with these shortcomings. But what is bad will show up with time in the next wife or boy, it is not known. Perhaps, he will be much better than his predecessors. But in fact it is quite probable, that is not present! And how then to be? Should I adjust again, or break up again, going further in search of the ideal? Ideal people do not exist, and such searches can be dragged on for life. Restoring a relationship with a former husband or a relationship with a former boyfriend is, of course, a difficult matter. To do this, each of the partners must draw for themselves certain conclusions. Any couple, as a rule, is connected by a lot - common friends, memories, experiences and so on. In addition, at first, relations in a couple are almost always very good. People study with interest each other and notice, mainly, the dignity of a person. And only through time, in his character and habits, suddenly begin to show up shortcomings, which can, in the end, outshine all the virtues. Which usually leads to a rupture. Often after this break a strange thing happens. If the relationship was originally in love, the shortcomings of the former husband or former boyfriend suddenly seem insignificant, and their dignity - significant and unique. However, this is understandable. Firstly, the good is better seen from a distance, and secondly, the former have become practically native, and the shortcomings of native people are considered a continuation of their merits. And we accept them as they are. An exception in this case is usually treason. Few of us can not forgive her even a very positive partner in nature. Treason is perceived as a betrayal, and it generates a grandiose mistrust that can live in the soul for many years. The wall of mistrust is so strong that no requests for forgiveness, no effort to be always faithful and faithful to destroy it can not. And the relationship after the treason to restore is no longer possible. This, of course, is not entirely correct. Alterations happen for various reasons and are to blame for them, in most cases, both partners. But, what can you do, it is treason we forgive and do not know how. We can favorably treat the lack of attention on the part of the guy or spouse, to his laziness, infantilism, inertia, and sometimes even to drunkenness and uncontrollable aggression. And with a break in relations because of such shortcomings, we often doubt that a full break is necessary. Therefore, when a former guy or husband tries to improve, we forgive and calm them down. With treason, things are different. Restoring relationships after treason, - the process is very complex, long, requiring constant work not so much with a partner as over oneself. He can not even think about betrayal, we will have it at every step. Well, then, how to resume the relationship after the betrayal, the question is separate. Now let's talk about how to restore the relationship after the gap, which you regret. And can they be restored in general in the form in which they were originally.

How to build a relationship with an ex-husband or boyfriend?

Restoration of relations is possible only if,when after the break with the former partners connects more than just common memories. If there is nothing besides them, it is better to refuse to re-rapprochement, since it will not be possible to establish relations with the ex-husband or boy, obeying only the habit of them. Why? Because initially they were doomed to failure, because they were created not on the basis of a powerful need for each other. Two people simply were together a certain period of life, in which, they probably quite needed one another. This period has passed, and the relationship has become obsolete. How to be in another situation, when the former are still very needed, and you think about them day and night? I must say, if the initiator of the gap was a man, then a woman is better or to gather strength and wait, when he gets it, or try to throw him out of my head. There is nothing worse than a person, suffering from grief, trying hard to return her husband or boyfriend. Representatives of the male are afraid of such pressure and seek to escape from such a person far away. As a result, instead of restoring relations, we will destroy them finally. Therefore, we urge all our willpower to help and wait for the first step from the man. Of course, this is not easy. Especially when we regularly intersect with our ex-at work, at common acquaintances, on the street. However, this does not mean that you need to change the work, friends and routes, which we constantly go around. Why do we need additional problems? At work, you must try to stay calm and unruffled. In the company of common acquaintances you can find yourself a friend (by the way, a good way to awaken in the former jealousy). And if you meet regularly on the street, pay more attention to your appearance and look so impressive that the former will become speechless. Perhaps it? Completely. Yes, in addition, it will also benefit us. First, we do not degrade our dignity; secondly, we will get new opportunities for development, and in the third we will simply be transformed! And this is an essential step on the road to your happiness. If the partners parted by mutual consent, without scandals, then there is nothing to think about restoring close relations. Usually in such cases the former husband or boy remains ours, even if not friends, but friends. And we can quite well make friendly visits to each other, not particularly bothering about whether they have someone else and we have someone else or not. Of course, if this "someone else" does not mind, which is extremely rare. However, the need for visits, in most cases, with the break with general agreement does not arise. After all, such partners part because they are no longer united by some goals and interests. And before them there is no question of how to establish relations with the former. It is much easier to establish relationships with an ex-husband if there are common children. For children there is no former pope, if the ex-husband is a good father. To forbid him to see with children at all it is impossible, and if also the soul to the former husband lasts, even more so. Let him come more often, take the children, dine, supper, rest. You look, and completely remain. After all, relatives still. Of course, when he had a new family, the resumption of relations could become impossible. Or maybe not. Who knows, how they will develop there. So let him appear more often. And the chance to return her husband will remain, and survive a complete break with him, if anything, it will be easier. Just do not have to do with the former spouse in something to blame and remember past grievances. No sense from this. Hair on himself to tear from repentance, he does not begin, but it can easily disappear from our life. Can lead to a re-rapprochement and intimate relationships with an ex-husband or boyfriend. Even if they have new partners, sex with them is possible, because we continue to be close people. Besides, to whom, if not to us, to know the needs and desires of one who was in bed? For a long time we were able to study it! Yes, it can also happen that we, suddenly losing our head when meeting with the former, throw ourselves into his arms, and the night will be excellent. And in the morning he will come to his senses, silently gather and leave. It may also be that after the stunning sex in the memory of both, everything that has caused us to part again comes to light, - everyday problems, some significant shortcomings of each other, treason, finally. And all attempts to reconcile through the intimate will be ashes. But after all, the situation can have a completely successful continuation: we both suddenly realize that the gap was a mistake, and it will turn into a break in the relationship, which often goes to the benefit of the couple. Well, if not ... Well, at least we will get pleasure. I must say that an intimate relationship with a former husband or boy has a significant disadvantage. They can easily nullify all our efforts to forget the person. Therefore, you should not lose your head when meeting your former love. First we need to think, but can we accept it again as it is, and forgive everything that happened? If not, then succumb to the desire to go to bed with him is inappropriate, even if the former insists. Good in such sex is not enough. The past can not be returned, but it will be possible to let the partner know that we are always at his service. What for? After all, then the former husband or boy will still consider us his property. And this may well prevent to create new serious relations with someone else. Of course, the situation is different. It also happens that, after parting with a woman, a man begins to meet with others and realizes that closer than the ex-girlfriend, he will not be any of the ladies. Then sex with the most beautiful of them no longer beckons, and the house becomes empty and gloomy, and interest in life disappears. And more often, with love and warmth, the past is recalled, and so you want to bring everything back that does not work, can not sleep, does not rest. And she is thinking about the same thing at the same time. The situation is sad, unnatural and ... blatant! Because it demonstrates our inability to understand each other, our desire at all costs to prove our rightness, our inability to be lenient and patient with respect to an expensive person. The situation needs to be corrected. How? Yes, just call a former boyfriend or husband or meet with him and speak frankly. Pride does not allow, and step over it is impossible? Well, well ... It remains to hope that providence will correct everything and bring us down with a dear man. And maybe not to reduce. If the relationship with the former boyfriend or husband resumed, and we realized that the gap was a mistake, the main thing is not to remember it in the future. It is not necessary to find out later why it happened and who is to blame, this can lead to a quarrel. Relations need to be built anew, focusing on what is already known and about the partner, and about his condition when separated from him. Reunion should be mature, conscious. At the same time, flirting and trying to see a loved one in a new way and show oneself on the new side will only benefit. Conclusion: the restoration of relations with a former boyfriend or husband is quite possible. It is important only to understand that this will already be a transition to a new level of relations and become wiser than before. Let us respect our loved ones and forgive them shortcomings and minor sins. Because without them it's bad, sad and boring. Without them, the world becomes gloomy, dull and uninteresting. We advise you to read: