Alcohol in the family ... The situation, unfortunately,not uncommon and terrible. Every day life with an alcoholic in one house turns into hell. Hell also exists when a drinking person is aggressive, and then, when drunk, he is quiet, like a mouse, and even when he is sober. Because the household is in a state of extreme stress always. When an alcoholic is a bouin - they are forced to defend themselves when they are drunk, calm, they feel bitterness, worrying for a loved one, and when they are sober - all the time they are awfully waiting for a new binge, because the behavior of an alcoholic is unpredictable. Living next to alcohol addicted is very difficult. And doubly harder, when you love this person, sincerely want to release him from terrible dependence, but you have absolutely no idea how to do it. How to be? Let's try to discuss this issue, which is a pain for many people. Perhaps we can find some way out.
Why do people become alcoholics?
How to know in advance a toper in perspective andCan you find out? After all, when we are young, when we are obsessed with romanticism, we just begin to meet with a person, fall in love with him and wholeheartedly wish to connect life with him, we certainly do not even guess what will happen later. And if through the years spent together, we still continue to love our partner in life, addicted to the bottle, we feel guilty. It seems to us that they overlooked something, they were cruel somewhere, they paid little attention to something. So he began to drink. Is it so? And so, and not so. Why do people become alcoholics? It is difficult to find an unambiguous answer. The reason for this may be a genetic predisposition, the desire to escape from life's troubles, tense family relationships, the influence of others ... It is generally believed that people with weak will, mostly, are sleeping. However, it also happens that a strong-willed person capable of decisive actions, suddenly begins to apply to the bottle, slowly but surely turning into a chronic alcoholic. Alcoholics are not suddenly and not all lovers drink, so the exact answer to the question: "Why do people become alcoholics?" No. Sometimes a person predisposed to alcoholism can be recognized by some moments of his behavior. Suppose a handsome young man, charming, sociable, the soul of the company, often appears on a date slightly under the shafa. At first, it even likes the girl, - he is cheerful, sociable, gossipy. Watch out for the young lady here, - there are signs of an alcoholic, - but she is serene - after all, this girl is so fond of this young man, where even here to sanity and pragmatism! Well, what he drinks ... This is so, the costs of turbulent youth. "Pass!" - Decides the young lady and sent with a guy in the registry office. Years go by, and the man's addiction to drinking not only does not pass, it grows almost every day. And now, instead of a handsome healthy guy in front of an exhausted and untimely aged woman, - an untidy hunched man with a dull look, shaking hands, and with obvious signs of an alcoholic already chronic. He has one life goal - to fill an empty glass. Everything else - children, wife, work, - has receded into the background. Looking at him, close people experience both fastidiousness, and shame, and pain, and alienation. And, at the same time, tenderness, love and hope. What should the wife of an alcoholic do? Someone does not stand such a test and gets rid of the burden. But there are a lot of those who, despite the advice of others, leave hopeless attempts to correct it, remains next to the drinking person and is looking for ways to help him. What can you advise on the self-sacrificing wife of an alcoholic? Unfortunately, universal methods, which help to return a person who drinks heavily to normal life, do not exist yet. Nevertheless, there are options for the behavior of his family and friends, which it is desirable to adhere to, if we intend to be near this person to the end.
How to deal with an alcoholic?
Life with an alcoholic is complicated in general, and if this, tothe same, and a loved one, it becomes more difficult doubly. Sleeping on the eyes of husbands, children, parents - it is extremely painful and scary. After all, we remember them by others - cheerful, cheerful, purposeful! And now before us - degraded incomplete man, now and then, and often and very often, showing unjustified aggression. How to deal with an alcoholic, so as not to harm him and achieve the most positive result? Close friends of a drinking person, trying to help him, often make the same mistakes. Of course, they regret their alcoholics, explaining to everyone that a person simply has a weak will, and defending such an explanation, first of all, from the negativity of the problem. Someone starts to hide bottles and money, someone forces a drinking person to recognize his own alcoholism and swears that it will not happen again, someone forces him to agree to treatment. Unfortunately, all these methods can not be used effectively by alcoholics. Until he himself does not have an ineradicable and furious desire to get rid of addiction, no hidden bottles and money, no aspirations to pull his vows out of him will not have effect. He will find the bottle outside the house, the oath will be forgotten, and compulsory treatment of alcoholics very rarely gives stable positive results. The drinking person himself perfectly understands what is being destroyed, and experiences a feeling of guilt, which is often expressed in the form of aggression. Pressure on the part only aggravates the condition of the dependent, and this is no longer a help to alcoholics, but harm: the one who has just embarked on this path, under the pressure of relatives can very quickly slide to the very bottom. We have already talked about the fact that alcoholics become for many reasons. Perhaps, having determined the reason, it is possible to understand how to cure an alcoholic and eradicate the very problem? Alas, to determine the cause of deep drunkenness of a person is not enough. He is really sick, and instantly reorient the psyche, even if the former alcoholic is not able to live a healthy lifestyle. This requires time, during which close people will have to spend a lot of mental energy on his rehabilitation. In the treatment of alcoholics, the rehabilitation period is very important. They need to give something in return for drunken happiness, and this "something" needs to be found. Such a replacement can be travel, communication with interesting (by no means drinkers) people, hiking in nature, visiting cinemas, theaters - anything, if only it carried away the former alcoholic as much as possible. In general, when a person drinks, you should not blame him for this and talk about your feelings: pain, impotence, indignation. This will force him to defend himself, and the aggression will become more apparent in the behavior of the alcoholic. Needless to say, life with an alcoholic in this case will become completely unbearable? The optimal answer to the question: "How to make an alcoholic be treated?" - if possible, a calm demonstration of selflessness on the part of his loved ones and an open expression of a position like "I save you". This will provide an opportunity to find ways to solve the problem, how to stop the alcoholic, who, it is likely, himself will actively seek ways of salvation. Some husbands, wives, mothers, children, exhausted by life with an alcoholic and who do not give up hope to save an expensive person from dependence, relieve him of any duties. This is a wrong move - an alcohol-exhausted person can not adequately perceive reality, and is likely to accept attempts by relatives to ease his fate as a desire to get rid of him. The drinking person must feel that he is in demand in this world, that without him they will not manage and need him. This understanding is a very powerful tool in the fight against alcoholism and one of the leading answers to the question of how to deal with an alcoholic. To the understanding that it is vitally important to quit drinking, the alcoholic must come himself. Of course, his family, reflecting on how to treat an alcoholic, should be prepared for this moment and learn about the rehabilitation centers and the clubs of anonymous alcoholics acting side by side. It is not necessary, thus, to write down the collector completely get rid of dependence of the relative on reception to the expert without his knowledge. Excessive perseverance in this matter can do much harm. To the expert the alcoholic needs to go without the slightest pressure from outside. Relatives of the drinking person should be remembered: prolonged abstinence from alcohol still, alas, is not an indicator of complete getting rid of addiction. Relapses are very likely. How to stop the alcoholic, not letting him sink to the very bottom of life? You need to be prepared for the fact that he will remain in a bad mood for a long time, begin to scandalize, find fault with others, and in no case argue with him, pouring oil on the fire. Yes, this period of life with an alcoholic is very difficult. But, if we intend to restore a person completely, we will have to suffer and accept him as a non-drinker. It should be noted that often in families alcoholics regularly and quite a lot of people drink and start to apply enhanced measures for their rehabilitation, up to the treatment. This is the wrong way - not all drinkers are alcoholics, but under pressure from everyone can become such. How to identify an alcoholic in order not to make such a mistake?
How to identify an alcoholic?
Alcoholism is not determined by how often andhow much a person drinks. Alcoholics are those who have a strong dependence on alcohol. How to identify an alcoholic and distinguish him from an ordinary drinker? If a person has at least three symptoms of chronic alcoholism, it is time for his relatives to beat the bells - the disease begins. These are symptoms such as:
- A person often takes alcohol, despite the fact that he must perform some duties;
- The person drinks more and longer than planned;
- A person needs to regularly increase the dose in order to reach a state of intoxication, or, conversely, he begins to get drunk from much smaller doses than the previous ones.
The general symptoms of chronic alcoholism are expressed in the following:
- A person tries to reduce the use of alcohol to a minimum, but it does not work;
- A person can devote a lot of time to obtaining alcohol, drink a lot and drink and return to normal for a very long time, experiencing a severe hangover;
- A person drinks, despite the fact that his drunkenness has led to problems in the family and at work;
- A person can not get out of a hangover without drinking alcohol.
If we have an idea how to find outalcoholic, and noticed the presence of these symptoms in the native person, you need to be alert. Skip the moment when you can still stop it quite easily, it's easy. Life, work and daily vanity take a lot of time, and, tired, we sometimes are too light-minded about the fact that our loved ones, (and often ourselves,) skip a glass every day-another "for appetite." No, sometimes they are only for appetite or for relieving stress, but the line between norm and excess is very thin, and it passes unnoticed. Surrounding, even knowing how to define an alcoholic, can initially take it easy, and only remember when it comes too far. Therefore, it would be better if someone who is inclined to alcoholism, he himself controlled the process of taking alcohol and did not go beyond the limits of what is permitted. How to recognize an alcoholic in yourself and not give him the upper hand? The inner alcoholic manifests itself in an irresistible desire to add more. If you do not click on it, the supplements can continue until the reality does not lose shape and does not fade completely. Settled in us an alcoholic makes itself felt by morning failures in memory, a severe headache, apathy and a desire to drink in the morning after a feast. How to deal with this inner alcoholic? First, do not try to persuade yourself not to drink, if you really want to drink: the forbidden fruit is sweet, and the more we try to forget about it, the more it beckons us. The desire to drink from a normal and adequately assessing his condition is always associated with something. These can be stresses, prolonged stress, severe physical and psychological fatigue, and even very great joy. If it arose, it's better to try to get distracted by something fascinating: to watch a good film, read a wonderful book, walk along beautiful streets and admire the nature and so on. When you are completely unbearable, you can drink some quality alcohol, but you need to do it in a good company with nice and self-sufficient people. The last advice does not apply to those who were chronic alcoholics: it is absolutely not recommended to use any alcohol. In general, life is so amazing that it does not require embellishment with the help of alcohol. The world is full of miracles, and one should not look for them at the bottom of the bottle - they are always at hand. So let's not take away the possibility of sincere joy of life neither in ourselves, nor in our loved ones. We advise you to read: