We all, men and women, have our own,sometimes peculiar habits. We get used to them and stop noticing them. Well, it’s not for nothing that they say that habits are second nature. Nature is nature, and we live quite comfortably with them... Until these “cute habits” begin to irritate someone and fall into the category of “stupid”. Of course, this mainly concerns those who encounter them most often. That is, spouses. Stupid habits of husbands and wives often become the main reason for disagreements between them. And they can very well become a reason for divorce. Why does this happen? Surely people dating before marriage can’t help but notice each other’s not very pleasant habits? They can’t. They see them, of course. Especially when they date for more than one day. But at the stage of establishing a relationship and falling in love, such habits seem extraordinary or insignificant. But then, in family life, they suddenly begin to irritate and even irritate. The result is a cooling of feelings, a decline in sexual interest, alienation of spouses, infidelity, family breakdown and other troubles of marriage... And all because, for example, the husband likes to eat straight from the frying pan, and the wife cannot resist buying another hat. Isn't it funny? Alas, no. Because too often in young families such things happen. And for those who are older, things are not much better. This is a very common problem, familiar to many firsthand. So what is happening to us and what to do about it?

General features of relations between men and women

Our world is populated by people of different sexes, and because of thisthere is no getting away from the fact. Otherwise, life would probably be unbearably boring. At the same time, men and women differ not only in their physical sexual characteristics. They understand the essence of things differently and perceive reality as a whole. And therefore, they cannot consider any thing from the same point of view. And this means that the confrontation between men and women is an ineradicable and eternal thing. It is precisely this very confrontation, laid down by nature itself, that leads to the emergence of problems in communication between the sexes. Well, for example, let's take the notorious female logic, which is constantly ridiculed by representatives of the stronger sex. They say that there is complete chaos in the heads of ladies, and therefore they cannot be trusted under any circumstances. Today they will throw out one thing, tomorrow - another, the day after tomorrow - a third. In a word, they are unreliable, uncontrollable and unpredictable. It must be said that they are right. A true woman cannot correspond to the rigid and limited male logic in her actions. She simply has a different way of thinking! More intuitive, more abstract and therefore, from the point of view of men, somewhat chaotic. But this in no way speaks of female unreliability. In the end, the most important thing in the world - the birth and upbringing of children - is entrusted to the representatives of the weaker sex. So the question is, who is more reliable in this world ... Well, okay, we are not talking about reliability now. We are trying to understand the stupid habits of husbands and wives and their attitude towards them. So, men are irritated by female illogicality. And women, in turn, by male tediousness and stubbornness. Tell me, please - you tell him, you tell him to empty the ashtray and wash the dishes after himself - all in vain! And it's not even worth talking about taking out the trash. There are jokes about it. Is he deliberately getting on our nerves? No, he's not deliberate. Our men's brains are designed in such a way that there's simply no room for ashtrays, dishes, trash, and other junk. That's why they don't even remember such nonsense. And we get angry, irritated, and fight, believing that we are being treated with disdain. They think that everything is fine and quickly write off the "scandalous nagging" as hysterical. No, really, what's the point of shouting? Big deal, a mountain of dirty plates and full ashtrays all over the house... The ceiling didn't fall in from it! That's how things stand with men and women trying to find a consensus in communication. The problem is that we don't take into account each other's gender characteristics. And we try to force each other to think the way we think. And that's simply impossible. Fruitless attempts to impose your own worldview on your other half lead to a cooling of feelings. And such dear to the heart quirks of this half turn into irritating, sometimes driving to white heat habits. All this can end badly. But because of what?! Let's see what habits of spouses representatives of both sexes most often complain about.

Bad female habits from the point of view of men

So, how can we irritate our spouses so much?

A shyness. Yes, we can not take it away from us. We love to talk. This is a psychological need and can not escape from it anywhere. That's just bothering with talking to men, we do not consider one. Their brains are not able to quickly perceive and analyze the sea of ​​information that a woman can splash out within a few minutes. We chatter, a man does not have time to realize what is at stake. And he begins to get irritated;

Aspiration to buy a bunch of shoes and a lot of unnecessaryfrom the male point of view of things. I must say that such actions can not afford all the representatives of the weaker sex. Therefore, they should irritate when there is not enough money in the family. And if you have enough, why not buy something? It's just a hobby. And it's nice, besides;

Love to serials. Yes, women like TV shows. Because everything is beautiful there. And then - not very much. Here also it would be desirable sometimes to distract from concoction, the washing machine, dirty plates and a dust on corners;

Habit for a long time to meet for a meeting orparty. And no, probably, we will jump out into the street disheveled, with smeared make-up and in a suit that grows old and full! A woman should be a woman. And look like one hundred percent;

The habit of grumbling and itching for any reason. Here, men will have to agree. Always displeased with all the lady will drive everyone mad;

Habit of asking: "Do you love me?". Yeah ... So it's hard to say "Yes", or what? However, we indeed are often too intrusive and we can ask such a question a hundred times a day:

The habit of checking her husband's e-mail, hisPockets, messages and calls on your mobile phone and monitor its actions. It's hard to argue with men here. Total control can not touch and rejoice. And women often get carried away. And to refuse such actions the overwhelming majority of them simply can not. Well, at least it should at the time make it thinner, unnoticeable and do not throw yourself at the pious with a crushing cry: "And what is this Tanyushka (Viktor Petrovich, Claudia Ivanovna) who called you ?!"

Well, we have partly understood what habits of ours men often complain about. Now let's look at what habits of husbands wives usually grumble about.

Bad male habits from the perspective of women

So what do wives usually complain about in their husbands?

Unwillingness to wash the dishes. Yes, few representatives of the stronger sex are burning with love for this process. Well, it is not clear to them, why wash over the plate, if you can collect a whole mountain, and then ... And then wait for her wife to wash her;

Spreading around the house of socks, shirts,wet towels and so on. There is such, truly. In fairness, I must say that not all men are so careless. There are also pedants who carefully monitor that every thing in the house is always in its place. And it is not known what is better - pick up expensive socks and towels or constantly listen to him from the whole tirade of moralizing and reproaches in his own sloppiness;

The ability to sit in the toilet for hours. They sit, for sure. And what are they only doing there all this time? Even there are copies that have built themselves in such a cozy place for laptops, books and magazines. That's ... Thinkers, in a word;

Forgetfulness towards family memorialsYes, there. Actually, of course, it's a shame when your lover forgot about the date of the wedding. But we have already discussed above about the differences in male and female thinking. Well, we remember all this, but they do not;

The habit of bawling at the whole house, if the belovedThe football team scores a goal or, conversely, misses it. No, well, what's wrong? The ball in someone's gate is common! Why so nervous? The answer to this question is given at the beginning of this article. Thinking they have!

The habit of wearing the same clothes for decades. And this despite the fact that the wardrobe is full of new things. Here he loves this darned - a patted sweater and battered jeans, and that's it! It is directly ashamed before associates for such outfit of the faithful:

The habit of lying for hours on the couch, constantly switching channels of the TV. Lies, lies ... Or maybe let him lie? And then he will run away to the left!

Well, that's all for now.It must be said that these habits of husbands that irritate us so much even make guys more attractive at the courting stage. "Oh, how cute he is in this old sweater! Oh, how manly he seems when he supports his football team!" And so on. Sound familiar? Familiar to many. And can these facts be considered significant for a decision to break up a relationship? Funny. And not funny, because they really are often a reason for breaking up. What should we do with these habits then? Correct them? Ignore them? Put up with them?

How to relate to the habits of your half

Frankly speaking, all those habits thatмы сейчас говорили, истинной причиной разрыва отношений не являются. Поводом для этого обычно служит накопившееся раздражение. Когда изо дня в день супруги придираются к поступкам друг друга, хорошего не жди. Если они дорожат своими чувствами, следует призадуматься над своим поведением. И, наконец, понять, что все люди разные. А привычки лишь подчёркивают индивидуальность человека. Это, безусловно, не относится к вредным привычкам. В целом склонность критиковать других людей и пытаться что-то в них исправить – тоже вредная привычка. Никому не хочется постоянно выслушивать назидания и критику в свой адрес. Семья не строится на идее усовершенствования другого человека. Наоборот. Брак подразумевает, что муж и жена принимают друга такими, какие они есть. А мы бросаемся что-то переделывать. Ну, разбрасывает он одежду, ну, болтает она часами по телефону, и что? Будет лучше, когда он будет пить, а она менять любовников, как перчатки? Неужели из-за каких-то мелких бытовых нестыковок должна развалиться семья? Манера поведения мужчин и женщин различна. Её диктует пол. Если представитель сильного пола начинает заниматься женскими делами, со временем он приобретает женские черты. Если девушка старается мыслить и поступать рационально и логично, рано или поздно она станет вести себя, как мужчина. Кому это нужно? Это же катастрофа! Да пусть мужья вылёживают диваны и швыряют мокрые полотенца на пол! Только при этом остаются добытчиками и защитниками. И пусть женщины часами висят на телефоне, поступают нелогично и ведут себя импульсивно. Но остаются хранительницами очага и матерями. Или, в конце концов, пусть иногда поменяются ролями. Тоже полезно. А вообще, пытаться изменить другого человека – дело неблагодарное. Чем больше мы в чём-то обвиняем своих близких, тем сильнее они сопротивляются. Такое сопротивление в итоге может обернуться чем угодно: протестом в виде измены, пьянством, разводом. А ведь начиналось всё с ворчания про немытые тарелки и про привычку мужа подолгу сидеть в туалете. Семья – тоже коллектив. В ней работают те же принципы разрешения спорных ситуаций и составления договоров. Если уж привычки супруга просто бесят, с ним можно просто спокойно обсудить этот вопрос. И придти к какому-то общему его решению и согласию. Только не надо в такой ситуации нападать на свою половинку, обвиняя в куче недостатков. Лучше постараться с дружелюбной иронией обратить её внимание на те или иные повадки и мягко объяснить, почему они причиняют дискомфорт окружающим. В принципе, можно найти массу способов решения проблемы. Разбрасывает муж по дому одежду? Заведём маленькую собачку. Они любят утаскивать в укромный уголок то, что валяется где попало. Жена заставляет слишком долго ждать, собираясь на вечеринку? Ну, так не подождём пару раз. Пусть добирается до места назначения сама! Хитрей надо быть. И дипломатичней. А не переть, как танк на передовой, у которого два варианта – или от бойца в лоб гранатой получить, или этого бойца в землю закопать. Если у человека есть привычки, значит, он существует, как человек. В противном случае это просто робот. А жить с механическим созданием не так-то легко. Да и не очень интересно. Каждый его поступок правилен, каждое намерение предсказуемо. Такая пресная жизнь может довольно быстро встать поперёк горла. Конечно, существуют ситуации, когда привычки второй половины становятся каплей, переполнившей чашу терпения. Обычно такое случается, если отношения мужчины и женщины уже себя изжили. Но в этом случае и рассуждать о чьих-то привычках не приходится. Есть они или отсутствуют, особого значения здесь не имеет. Чувств больше нет. А значит, и проблемы привычек тоже нет. Мелкие и не очень антагонизмы между полами — абсолютно нормальное явление. Они служат уравновешиванию разных полюсов мира и способствуют природной гармонии. Значит, мужчина и женщина являются двумя противоположными полюсами, метод взаимодействия которых неизменен. Такая вот безнадёжная перспектива. И такая вот замечательная перспектива! Потому что до тех пор, пока дела будут обстоять именно так, у человечества останутся шансы на любовь. Если же перевернуть всё с ног на голову, шансы такие, скорее всего, исчезнут. А мы так в любви нуждаемся! Так давайте же проще смотреть на пусть и неудобные, но, по большому счёту, просто смешные привычки своих половинок. Советуем почитать:

Comments

comments