Every person at least once in their life had toexperience unrequited love, which excites the heart, mind and, literally, does not allow you to live in peace. Very often, people in such a state cannot adequately respond to certain life situations, constantly experience a feeling of anxiety and psychological dissatisfaction. In order for unhappy love not to become a severe punishment for many years, it is necessary to learn to cope with it, using a variety of methods. Very often, it is the first love that is unhappy, since at a young age most people tend to take all the events that happen in their lives too close to their hearts. Those people who experience unrequited love in adulthood, as a rule, perceive their feelings more realistically, which allows them to get out of such a difficult psychological state with the least losses. That is why we will talk about how to survive the first unhappy love experiences, which can greatly shake a person's faith in himself and "reward" him with a bunch of unnecessary complexes. So, let's take a closer look at what needs to be done to cope with unrequited love at a young age.

Accept unrequited love as a reality

Many young girls and boys cannotfully realize that it is impossible to artificially arouse feelings in another person, and begin to try to win the attention of the object of their great love with the help of various tricks. Some in their attempts reach the point of absurdity, arranging real surveillance of their beloved and not giving them a break at every step. Such behavior, as a rule, does not lead to the desired result, but it can have the most negative impact on self-esteem and greatly spoil the reputation, which will not be so easy to restore. In order to get rid of love experiences, you should, first of all, accept as a given that your love is unrequited and will never be mutual. Doing this at a young age is not so easy, because it seems that you will never experience such unique, strong and real feelings again in your life, and your beloved is perfection, and you will never meet someone better than him. Such thoughts are self-deception, which is constantly “fueled” by reading books in which Love with a capital letter occupies the main place in a person’s life, watching romantic films, and the like. Of course, it is often impossible to exclude such influence of various external factors, and it is simply not necessary. A romantic perception of reality is a normal state for young people who are just beginning to form their baggage of psychological experiences. And yet, the first and one of the most important steps that allow you to forget that you have been visited by unrequited love is the complete acceptance of this fact and the exclusion of attempts to change the existing state of affairs in any way. To do this, you should pay attention to serious psychological work with yourself, your thoughts and feelings, allowing you to learn to perceive the current situation as inevitability, which, however, in no way makes life worse or better. If you are a strong person, then you will be able to do this yourself. If you cannot come to terms with the fact of unhappy love, you can use the help of your relatives and friends, and in especially difficult cases, turn to a psychologist who will help you realize and, most importantly, accept unrequited love.

Do not blame yourself and do not adjust to a loved one

Many young girls and boys startblame themselves if they failed to interest a member of the opposite sex for whom they have strong feelings. They think that they are not beautiful enough, smart enough, or simply unworthy of love. If you experience similar experiences, try to understand that you are not to blame for anything. The fact is that first love is often a feeling that a person cannot control. So, if the object of your love is not interested in you, this does not mean that you are unworthy of him or her in any way, this person simply does not perceive you as their other half on a subconscious level. Trying to adapt to your lover's ideas about the ideal partner is also not worth it, since this can provoke the emergence of quite serious psychological problems in future life. Even if you manage to attract the attention of the person you are interested in for a while and start a romantic relationship with him or her, you will still not be able to pretend all the time, and over time you will begin to behave absolutely naturally. This moment, as a rule, becomes the first step towards the collapse of the relationship, because your partner thought that you had completely different qualities. In general, such an option is not a way out of the situation of unhappy love, but only contributes to the emergence of an even greater feeling of inferiority. In order to successfully survive unrequited love, you need to learn to never blame yourself, and also not try to adapt to any expectations of your loved one. If you learn to do this, then not only first love, but also any other romantic experiences throughout your life will be much easier for you to overcome, and failures in love will in no way affect your self-esteem.

Do not look for a meeting with the object of your love

Most people who experience their firstexciting feelings, quite often there is a temptation to see the object of your love as often as possible even when it has already become clear that there can be no romantic relationship between them. If you are visited by the same desires, in no case should you give in to them, because this will only aggravate the experiences and you will never be able to get rid of unhappy love in your heart. You should try in every way to avoid not only meeting the person who broke your heart, but also not talking to him on the phone, and also not trying to find out any details about his life from friends and not visiting his page on social networks. If you try to find the slightest reason for a personal meeting or at least a fleeting communication with a person who does not reciprocate your feelings, then you further aggravate your experiences and also undermine your own psyche. So that your first love does not become the only “light in the window” for you for the next few months or even years, you should try to avoid any communication with the object of your love. If it is impossible to do this, because, for example, you study together or communicate in the same company, then it is still worth trying to reduce communication to the minimum acceptable by the norms of politeness. Of course, in such a situation it will be much more difficult to do this, and it will take much more time to “cure” unrequited love, but in the end you will be one hundred percent sure that you no longer have any feelings for your former lover. In addition, you will gain invaluable experience of independent psychological work with your feelings and emotions, which will definitely be useful to you in your future life.

Immerse yourself in your own interests

One of the surefire ways toto cope with any difficult psychological situations, is a complete immersion in yourself and your interests. If you previously dreamed of taking some courses, taking up dancing or learning to cook deliciously, then it is high time to do this exactly when you are trying to cope with such a feeling as unhappy love. Maximum switching of attention from one area of ​​life to another always acts extremely positively and allows you to get rid of various dependencies much faster, which, without a doubt, includes too ardent first unrequited love. In addition, by paying attention to your own interests, you will very soon notice that you have become a much more multifaceted and self-sufficient person, for whom love now means much more than before. An excellent option is also a complete immersion in studies, which many people experiencing first love often simply ignore. If you are already working, then it would be nice to pay attention to your professional activities and try to get a promotion or some kind of salary increase from your superiors. Believe me, if you occupy your head with thoughts about studying or work, then you will simply have neither the strength nor the time for love experiences. For girls, a very good way to distract yourself from the painful thoughts of unrequited love is to pay increased attention to your appearance. You can sign up for a gym, go swimming, or improve your figure at home, which will help improve your mood, since during sports, hormones are produced in the body that are responsible for our cheerfulness and state of mind. You can also change your hairstyle, try different types of makeup and experiment with style, creating different images for all occasions. Just do not use a new look in order to once again try to arouse the interest of the object of your love. You need to learn to simply enjoy the fact that you look good and use it to lift your mood every day.

Find a new romantic hobby

If you have already realized that first love is not at allis definitely the last one, then you can try your luck in a romantic relationship again. To do this, you should pay attention to new acquaintances, and also do not neglect modern virtual methods of communication. Friends can introduce you to some interesting person, so you should go out more often to friendly gatherings and just spend more time with interesting people. If you are afraid that you will again suffer unhappy love, then do not try to immediately plunge into the abyss of new feelings. At first, you can generally limit yourself to light flirting, which perfectly raises self-esteem and is an excellent source of positive emotions. Over time, you can start going on dates, and then, when you learn as much as possible about the person you are interested in, begin to build a more serious romantic relationship with him. Do not be alarmed if, at the first stages of the development of a new love relationship, previous feelings will still sometimes remind you of themselves with a feeling of slight sadness and nostalgia for the old days. Such experiences are typical of everyone who is trying to build a new relationship after their first love. The best way to react to such feelings is to experience them as if they were completely ordinary feelings that visit you every day and do not carry any special emotional load. In no case should you try to remember in great detail all the twists and turns of your past failed romance, since the “ghost” of unhappy love will constantly hover over the new relationship. As the relationship develops, such thoughts will visit you less and less often, and one day you will be surprised to realize that you have not remembered your former love for quite a long time and, most importantly, you do not feel any feelings about it at all. It is quite possible that, having started dating a new person, after some time you yourself will not notice how you fall in love with him, and thoughts of unrequited love will seem completely stupid and meaningless to you. This happens to young girls and guys quite often, since first love, as a rule, is a completely unconscious and weak feeling, which, simply due to its novelty, is perceived as some kind of super value. Over time, most people begin to understand that real feelings “look” completely different, and they remember their first unrequited love with a touch of irony.

Determine what kind of feelings you are experiencing

Quite often, many young people get confusedlove with such a more mundane feeling as dependence or an egoistic need for complete possession of another person. Such feelings are very strong, and therefore are often perceived as first love. If you notice that you cannot live a day without the object of your feelings and feel a constant desire to see him next to you, and his own experiences at the moment do not really interest you, then know that the feelings you are experiencing are not love at all. True deep love is primarily focused on paying attention to the feelings and emotions of a loved one, and only then to your own experiences. In addition, such love is mutual by definition, since only in relationships of equal emotional intensity on both sides can you grow and develop for a sufficiently long time. If it is much more important for you to satisfy your need to possess this or that person, then know that your feelings are a common addiction that occurs in many people at a young age. If you cannot cope with your feelings, even understanding that they are not love, try to imagine your future together with this person. You just need to imagine everything in as much detail and color as possible, paying special attention to the everyday details of living together. If you are not lazy and imagine everything as realistically as possible, then, most likely, you will find that you do not want to share your personal space with your supposedly loved one and adapt to any of his habits. This is further proof that your unhappy love is just exaggerated emotions of sympathy for a certain person. All the above tips are general recommendations for coping with unrequited love that has visited you for the first time. Most young girls and guys manage to cope with unhappy love with the help of such methods, but you can also successfully use any other methods that help you forget about the once loved one. The most important thing is that these methods carry an exclusively positive charge and in no way complicate your life. In spite of everything, never forget that first love is, in essence, a unique gift that each person is given to experience only once in a lifetime. And even if this love turned out to be unrequited for you, do not lose heart and try to keep only positive feelings in your soul, and reduce all negative experiences to nothing with the help of constant work on yourself. Over time, from the unique feeling of first love, you will have only joyful emotions with a slight touch of nostalgia, and you will build all new romantic relationships on a completely new, more mature and conscious level.

Comments

comments