Everyone at least once in his life had toto experience unrequited love, which stirs the heart, mind and, literally, does not allow to live peacefully. Very often people in such a state can not adequately respond to these or other life situations, constantly experience feelings of anxiety and psychological dissatisfaction. To unhappy love is not a heavy punishment for many years, you need to learn to deal with it, using a variety of ways. Very often unfortunate is the first love, because at a young age most people tend to perceive all the events taking place in their lives, too close to the heart. Those people who experience unrequited love in adulthood tend to perceive their feelings more realistically, which allows them to get out of such a difficult psychological state with the least loss. That's why we'll talk about how to survive the first unhappy love experiences, capable of shaking the human faith in yourself and "rewarding" him with a bunch of unnecessary complexes. So, let's take a closer look at what we need to do to cope with unrequited love at a young age.
Accept unrequited love as a reality
Many young girls and boys can notto the extent that it is impossible to artificially induce feelings from another person, and they begin to try to win the attention of the object of their great love with the help of various tricks. Some in their attempts reach absurdity, arranging real surveillance for their beloved and not giving them a pass every step of the way. Such behavior, as a rule, does not lead to the desired result, but it can have the most negative impact on self-esteem and it's great to spoil the reputation, which will not be restored easily. In order to get rid of love experiences, it is first of all necessary to take for granted that your love is unrequited and will never be mutual. Doing this at a young age is not so easy, because it seems that you will not experience such unique, strong and real feelings more in life, and your lover is a perfection, and you will never find it better. Such thoughts are self-deception, which is constantly "heated up" by reading books in which Love, with a capital letter, occupies a central place in a person's life, viewing romantic films and the like. Of course, it is often impossible to exclude such influence of various external factors, and it is simply not necessary. Romantic perception of reality is a normal state for young people who are just beginning to form their baggage of psychological experiences. And yet, the first and one of the most important steps to forget that unrequited love has visited you is the complete acceptance of this fact and the exclusion of attempts to change the present state of affairs in any way. To do this, attention should be paid to serious psychological work with oneself, your thoughts and feelings, which allows you to learn to perceive the situation as inevitable, which, however, does not in any way make life worse or better. If you are a strong person, then you will be able to do it yourself. If you can not reconcile with the fact of unhappy love, then you can take the help of your relatives and friends, and in especially severe cases, turn to a psychologist who will help to realize and, most importantly, accept unrequited love.
Do not blame yourself and do not adjust to a loved one
Many young girls and guys beginblame themselves, if they did not manage to interest the representative of the opposite sex, to whom they have strong feelings. They think that they are not beautiful enough, smart or just unworthy of love. If you experience similar experiences, try to understand that you are not guilty of anything. The fact is that the first love is often a feeling that a person can not control. So, if you are not interested in the object of your love, it does not mean that you are in some way unworthy of him, just this person at the subconscious level does not perceive you as his second half. Trying to adapt to the views of your lover about the ideal partner is also not worth it, since this can provoke the emergence of quite serious psychological problems in the future life. Even if you manage to attract the attention of a person of interest to you for a while and make romantic relationships with him, then all the same you can not always pretend, and in due course you will start behaving absolutely naturally. This moment, as a rule, becomes the first step on the way to the collapse of relations, because your partner thought that you have very different qualities. In general, such an option is not at all a way out of the situation of unhappy love, but only contributes to the emergence of an even greater sense of inferiority. In order to safely experience unrequited love, you need to learn how to never blame yourself, and also not to try to adapt to any expectations of your loved one. If you learn to do this, not only the first love, but also any other romantic experiences throughout life will be overcome by you much easier, and failure in love in no way will affect your self-esteem.
Do not look for a meeting with the object of your love
Most people who experience the firstexciting emotions, there is often a temptation to see the object of your love as often as possible, even when it became clear that there can not be any romantic relationship between them. If you are visited by the same desires, in no case should they succumb, since this way you will only exacerbate the experiences and you will never be able to get rid of unhappy love in your heart. You should try not only to meet with the person who broke your heart, but also not to talk to him on the phone, and not to try to find out any details about his life from acquaintances and do not go to his social networking page. If you are trying to find the slightest reasons for a personal meeting or even a fleeting communication with a person who does not reciprocate, then you further exacerbate your experiences and, in addition, shake your own psyche. To the first love does not become for you the only "light in the window" for the next few months or even years, you should try to avoid any communication with the object of your love. If you can not do this, because you, for example, study together or communicate in the same company, it is still worth trying to reduce communication to the acceptable norms of politeness to a minimum. Of course, in such a situation it will be much more difficult to do, and it will take much longer to "heal" unrequited love, but in the end you will be 100% sure that you no longer feel any feelings for the beloved. In addition, you will receive an invaluable experience of independent psychological work with your feelings and emotions, which is sure to come in handy for you in later life.
Immerse yourself in your own interests
One of the win-win ways tocope with any complex psychological situations, is a complete immersion in themselves and their interests. If before you dreamed of going to any courses, doing dancing or learning to cook deliciously, then it's time to do it when you are trying to cope with such a feeling as unhappy love. The maximum switching focus of attention from one sphere of life to another always acts extremely positively and allows you to get rid of various dependencies much quicker, to which, undoubtedly, too passionate first unrequited love. In addition, paying attention to one's own interests, you will very soon notice that you have become a much more multi-faceted and self-sufficient person, for whom love now means much more than before. An excellent option is also a full immersion in study, which many people experiencing first love, often simply ignored. If you are already working, it would be nice to pay attention to your professional activities and try to get the bosses a raise or some increase in salary. Believe me, if you take your head in thoughts about your studies or work, then you will not have the strength or time for love experiences. For girls a very good way of distraction from painful thoughts about unrequited love is a heightened attention to one's appearance. You can enroll in the gym, go swimming or improve the figure at home, which will help improve mood, because during sports in the body, hormones are produced that are responsible for our cheerfulness and state of mind. You can also change your hairstyle, try different types of make-up and experiment with the style, creating different images for all occasions. Just do not use a new look in order to once again try to provoke interest in the object of your love. You need to learn how to simply enjoy the fact that you look good, and use it to raise your spirits every day.
Find a new romantic hobby
If you have already realized that the first love is not at allis necessarily the last, you can again try your luck in a romantic relationship. For this, it is worth paying attention to new acquaintances, as well as not neglecting modern virtual ways of communication. With an interesting person you can introduce friends, so it is more often to get out on friendly gatherings and just spend more time with interesting people for you. If you are afraid that unhappy love will come again, do not try to immediately plunge into the pool of new feelings. First, you can generally confine yourself to easy flirting, perfectly raising self-esteem and being an excellent source of positive emotions. In time, you can start dating, and then, when you learn as much as possible about the person that you are interested in, start building a more serious romantic relationship with him. Do not be alarmed if at the beginning of the development of new love relationships the previous feelings will still sometimes remind oneself of a feeling of mild sadness and nostalgia for the past. Such experiences are peculiar to all who are trying to build new relationships after the first love. The best option for responding to such feelings is their experience, as if they are quite ordinary feelings that visit you every day and do not carry any special emotional stress. In no case can you try to recall in minute detail all the vicissitudes of your past failed novel, as the "specter" of unhappy love will constantly be hovering over new relationships. As the relationship develops, such thoughts will visit you less and less often, and one day you will be surprised to realize that you have not remembered your former love for quite some time and, most importantly, do not have absolutely no feelings about it. It is likely that when you start dating a new person, you will not notice yourself after a while, how to fall in love with him, and the thoughts of unrequited love will seem completely stupid and meaningless to you. This happens to young girls and guys quite often, because the first love, as a rule, is a completely unconscious and weak feeling, which simply because of its novelty is perceived as some kind of supervaluation. Over time, most people begin to realize that real feelings "look" quite differently, and remember their first unrequited love with mild irony.
Determine what kind of feelings you are experiencing
Quite often many young people are confusedLove with such a more mundane feeling as a dependence or selfish need for full possession of other people. Such feelings are very strong, and therefore are often perceived as the first love. If you notice that you can not live a day without the object of your feelings and have a constant desire to see him next to you, and his own experiences at the moment you are not very much interested, then know that the feelings you are experiencing are not at all love . Real deep love is primarily focused on attention to the feelings and emotions of a loved one, and only then on their own experiences. In addition, such a love is by definition mutual, since only in equal in emotional terms both sides can grow and develop a fairly long time. If it is much more important for you to satisfy your need for possessing this or that person, then know that your feelings are a usual addiction, which at a young age occurs in so many people. If you can not cope with your feelings, even realizing that they are not any love, try to imagine your future together with this person. Only you need to represent everything in as much detail and color as possible, paying special attention to the everyday details of living together. If you are not too lazy and present everything as realistically as possible, then, most likely, you will find that you do not want to share your personal space with a supposedly beloved person and adapt to any of his habits. This is another proof that your unhappy love is just an exaggerated emotion of sympathy for a certain person. All of the above tips are common recommendations for coping with the unrequited love that visited you for the first time. Most young girls and boys manage to cope with unhappy love with the help of such methods, but you can also successfully use any other methods that help you forget about once loved one. The most important thing is that these methods carry an exclusively positive charge in themselves and in no way complicate your life. Despite everything, never forget that the first love, in fact, is a unique gift that every person is given to experience only once in a lifetime. And even if this love was unrequited for you, do not despair and try to keep in your soul only positive feelings, and all negative experiences to bring to naught with the help of constant work on yourself. Over time, from the unique feeling of first love, you will have only joyful emotions with a slight touch of nostalgia, and you will build all the new romantic relationships on a completely new, more adult and conscious level.