Have you ever noticed that completelycommunicate with people differently? At the same time, you can yell at your son for another bad mark and, distracted by the doorbell, calmly accept a letter from the postman. Many even manage to smile at a stranger and chat about trifles, despite the fact that a storm is raging inside. And the thing is that different types of communication involve different behavior of the same person. Moreover, we can describe the same object completely differently depending on who is in front of us. For example, a girl can out loud praise a blouse that a salesperson is pushing on her and then, moving a couple of meters away from the store, complain to her friend about the aggressive color of the clothes offered. Or another example: a woman is happy with her husband's gift for March 8, and in the evening tells her mother on the phone that her husband chose the wrong dress size. Did the husband understand that he made a mistake with the gift? Of course, yes. The look of his other half spoke louder than words. So we gradually moved on to what the main types and kinds of communication are. Psychologists distinguish between verbal and non-verbal ways of exchanging information. In the first case, it is transmitted with the help of words. In the second - with facial expressions, gestures, and a look.

Verbal communication type

This is the most common way of transmitting information.in humans. A baby uses a cry to tell his mother that he is hungry or that it is time to change his diapers. A young man asks for his girlfriend's hand in marriage, uttering memorized words. His behavior has long indicated serious intentions, but the lack of recognition did not allow his beloved to say that she is his fiancée. Words are used to hire, to announce a salary increase, and to see someone off on their last journey. However, the same news can be said in completely different ways. Sadly, cheerfully, with a sense of significance, pride, contempt, and even shouted out loud. And the words will change their emotional coloring. For example, the phrase "how are you" can mean serious concern (if you ask a sick person), and a simple formality (asking a friend on the street), and a manifestation of attention (when a young man asks a pretty co-worker). And if you add the appropriate intonation to this, the interlocutor can receive much more information than was included in the sentence. The verbal type of communication is divided into three groups:

• The meaning of words. Here the main role is played by the correct formulation of the phrase, the competent use of words. All this depends on the environment, upbringing and mood of a person at the moment.
• Expressive voice quality. This term means crying, laughing, sighing, whispering and even silence. Agree that with this simple list of tools for verbal communication, you can get from the interlocutor a lot.
• Speech sound phenomena. This is the modulation of the height of the voice (sharp, smooth), the pace of speech, intonation, timbre and diction. In short, everything that we put on words for greater understanding of the meaning of others. For example, the phrase "Ivanov - the deceiver", uttered in a low voice, can not cause any attention. And if you shout the same words in a shout at the demonstration? We are sure that the effect will be more effective.

Levels of verbal communication

Undoubtedly, HOW you speak to a person, build a dialogue, and evoke a response is very important in communication. Psychologists distinguish six levels of verbal communication:

Business style is respected in the working environmentbetween the boss and the subordinate, partners, colleagues. Here, in the course of communication, there is an evaluation of the business qualities of the interlocutor, and a businesslike, respectful conversation with the appeal to "you" is conducted.

Primitive style: people of low cultural development or simply drunk resort to it. For example, a man drunk can calmly talk to any passer-by, telling about his difficult fate, and be at the same time fairly familiar. He is not interested in the name or opinion of the interlocutor. The purpose of the conversation is simply to speak out. At the same time, the person himself is of no value to him (he does not care who is drunk anyway), and he could just as well talk to a shop in a park. Some traders and companions on the train sometimes adhere to the same style of communication. But to consider that primitive style of communication is used only by people of low cultural level, it would be wrong. Very often clever and educated people resort to such methods, which try to explain something to the interlocutor, being sure that a person will not be able to understand the essence of the problem. It is very important not to cross the line. Maybe your neighbor does not know Newton's third law, but what you consider him to be a fool will understand right away. Do not underestimate people and talk with them deliberately simple phrases. The conversation can be reduced to a joke, then nothing will be explained, and relations with the neighbor will not spoil.

Manipulative style. This level of communication is applicable to those people who need something from you (these can be sales managers or diplomats). During the conversation, the interlocutor tries to identify weaknesses in you and play on them in order to achieve the desired. Very often, the manipulative style is veiled with servility, flattery, excessive attention.

The game style is used when communicating with friends orbetween man and woman. For example, friends talk and joke at the same time. And the girl tries to flirt with the young man she likes (also a kind of game). Such types of communication are the most familiar of all.

Style of masks. This level of communication is inherent in almost every person. So we communicate with neighbors, old acquaintances, teachers of their children. Whatever our mood, we, if necessary, put on a mask of friendliness and say the list of on-duty phrases in order not to seem impolite. And for each interlocutor we have our own mask hidden. We go to the teacher as a serious mother. Familiar meet in the image of "life was a success." And for a neighbor through the wall, you can try on a mask of just indignation, if we are sure that it will come about the dishonesty of JEK or the next increase in payment for an apartment.

Spiritual style. Only people who are very close to each other communicate like this: a husband with a wife, a mother with a daughter, close relatives. In order to reach the spiritual level, people should know each other well enough and have confidence in their interlocutor. It happens that one person wants to enter the spiritual level of verbal communication, revealing to someone his secret. And in response he hears only laughter or indignation about what he did. That's why psychologists advise very carefully to choose interlocutors for frank conversations, especially since some people do not know how to keep their mouths shut, and your secret can become public.

Nonverbal communication type

This is the language of our body.Everything that cannot (or does not want to) be expressed in words. Very often, such communication is more eloquent. However, not for everyone. Scientists have proven that women are more receptive to non-verbal communication. Simply put, they are better at reading people "between the lines." As an example, we can cite an experiment in which married couples participated. They were divided by gender and given several versions of a child's cry. Women immediately distinguished where the baby was crying from hunger, and where wet diapers were bothering him. Whereas men could not determine the reason for the children's discontent. They only got the child's verbal contact. By the way, non-verbal communication is very actively studied by science. We can name several areas that work on recognizing human body language:

• Takecika - studies the causes of touching during communication (hugs, kisses, touches, handshakes, repulsions).
• Kinetic - defines external manifestationshuman emotions and feelings. Gestika studies the movements of some parts of the body, facial expressions - the movement of the muscles of the face, pantomimics delves into the whole body motility: gait, posture, posture.
• Proxemics - studies the importance of distance of people in communication. How close a person is to the interlocutor in a conversation determines his attitude towards the latter.

There are four types of distance between people:

Intimate area. It is 15-45 centimeters. Only well-known, close people are allowed into it. This zone is characterized by tactile contact, confidence, quiet voice, touch. Science argues that the violation of the intimate zone of a person entails some physiological changes in the body: increased adrenaline release, increased heart beat, blood rush to the head, etc. If a person prematurely intrudes into the intimate zone, this is always perceived as an attempt at inviolability. It happens that in crowded transport people are too close to each other, which brings discomfort to some passengers. Psychologists advise in moments of traffic jams to turn away from fellow travelers who have invaded your intimate zone, do not look into your eyes and do not talk to them. So the trip will be much easier for you.

Personal or personal zone. It is 45-120 cm. Suitable for everyday conversation with colleagues and friends. It assumes only visual-eye contact between people who support the conversation.

Social zone. It is 120-400 cm. It is usually observed during official meetings in all kinds of office premises when communicating with those whom the person does not know very well.

Public area. It is more than 400 cm and implies communication with a large audience and a group of people. However, some people may be much closer to the speaker. However, one should not allow a large number of people to surround the person closely. Many are morally lost in the crowd.

The position of the interlocutors at the table

About what position a person takestable, one can judge his attitude to the matter as a whole. This knowledge is widely used in organizing negotiations, when one can simply move a person and weaken his position a little. And now more specifically about the positions themselves: The corner position is the most favorable for communication between a teacher and a student, a manager and subordinates. Both parties have the necessary space to exchange views. The corner of the table serves as a symbolic barrier that protects against unfair attacks. The interlocutors' views do not cross, which also brings psychological comfort. And when difficult questions are raised in a discussion, a person can always focus on formulating an answer, directing his eyes to a stationary object. The interlocutors sit opposite each other. This is a competitive-defensive position, which is used in disputes, heated discussions, debates. Its advantage is that it allows you to clearly see the facial expression of the opponent, the gestures made, which change depending on the interlocutor's attitude to the issue under discussion. At the same time, the table serves as the so-called psychological defense. The interlocutors are located at different corners of the table. This is an independent position, which indicates a person's unwillingness to communicate. Needless to say, this has a negative effect on the entire communication process? You can try to turn the situation around by moving the person. But there is a risk that the interlocutor will not accept the changes and will leave the room before the negotiations begin. The interlocutors are sitting next to each other. This is a position of directed cooperation. There are no barriers between people here, and the communication itself is of a trusting nature. In this position, the participants in the conversation can discuss almost all topics and issues, since the interlocutors accept each other.

These eyes are opposite

You can also recognize emotions well anda person's intentions by their eyes. This is best known to men, who immediately assess the way their interlocutor looks at them when they meet. Moreover, a person's social status, the presence or absence of problems, and even their health can be determined by their look. For example, a student a week before his scholarship, a grandmother with a minimum pension, and a single mother look at the world with approximately the same eyes. With sadness. Whereas a successful businessman looks at those around him confidently and boldly. The same expression in the eyes can be seen in a child growing up in a complete family. He has no problems, and the growing person looks into the future with optimism. To be more specific, the look of the interlocutor, depending on the situation, can be:

• Secular. In this case, the gaze drops to the lip line or just below the eye level of the interlocutor. This device contributes to easy and informal communication and is used at receptions, meetings and parties.
• Business. Here the view is fixed at the level of the forehead of the interlocutor. It is assumed that this creates a serious atmosphere of business partnership;
• Intimate. A person does not look in the eyes of the interlocutor, on other parts of the body, located below the face (to the level of the chest). This speaks of people's interest in each other. An intimate view can be accompanied by an expansion of the pupils (in anticipation of pleasure).
• A sideways glance. Speaks of suspicious or critical attitude to the interlocutor.

Eyes, forehead, mouth, eyebrows, mouth, chin, nose -These parts of the face best express the main human emotions. Positive emotions (love, joy, surprise) can be determined faster and easier, negative emotions of a person (anger, sadness, contempt) are more difficult to perceive. The main load in determining the true feelings of the interlocutor is carried by the lips and eyebrows.

Gestures

They are the ones who give the most in communicationinformation. You can take the position at the table that was assigned to you, hide your gaze, control your words, but your gestures will still reveal the true attitude of your interlocutor to the problem. Psychologists have identified six groups of gestures:

Gestures-illustrators. These include: informing gestures (pointers when a person points at something with a finger), pictographs, (images of pictures that the interlocutor draws in the air, on the table), kinetographs (all kinds of body movements), gestures-"bits" (for psychological Ways from the interlocutor), ideographers (movements of hands by which a person connects imaginary objects together).

Gestures-regulators. This is a purposeful movement of the hands, nods, which express the person's attitude to anything.

Gestures-emblems. Imaginary substitutes for phrases or words in communication. For example, these can be hands clasped together, symbolizing friendship and cooperation (as with a handshake), slightly raised palms means in many cases a greeting, and the raised arms above the head are interpreted as a farewell.

Gestures-adapters. Pretty specific hand movements. This is the twitching of certain parts of the body with the interlocutor when communicating. Scratching, touching, stroking foreign objects, your body. Easy spanking of the partner, sorting out everything that is at hand (a button, a notepad, a pencil, etc.).

Gestures-affecters. This expression is the movements of the muscles of the face and body of certain emotions.

Microsities: Hardly noticeable changes in the interlocutor: increased number of blinks, sudden redness of cheeks, twitching of lips, etc.

Psychologists claim - when a personwants to show his emotions and feelings, then he certainly resorts to the help of gestures. Therefore, it is so important to learn the true meaning of certain gestures in order to determine the true intentions of the interlocutor. The peculiarity of gestures is as follows: they enhance the effects of weak emotions by demonstrating the body and hand movements; suppress strong emotions, limiting body movements. False movements aimed at deceiving the interlocutor are primarily made by the limbs, and only then the facial muscles are involved. The following types of gestures can be identified that often occur during communication:

• Estimation Gestures. When a person pulls out his index finger along the cheek, scratches his chin, stands up and starts pacing around the room (assessing information), etc.
• Gestures of confidence. The interlocutor swings on a chair or connects fingers in a dome of a pyramid.
• Gestures of uncertainty and nervousness. The man pinches his hands, binds his fingers, taps the table with his fingers. It happens that the interlocutor expresses his uncertainty by the fact that before sitting down, he touches the back of the chair.
• Gestures of self-control. The hands of a man are shown demonstratively behind their backs, while one hand squeezes the other. This can also be the posture of the person sitting on the chair, clasping his hands in the armrest, and others.
• Gestures of waiting. A man slowly wipes his hands on the cloth or rubs his hands.
• Gestures of denial. The interlocutor folds his hands on his chest, tilts the body back, touches the tip of his nose to the tip of the nose, crosses his arms, etc.
• Gestures-location. Here in the course of communication a person constantly touches the interlocutor, putting his hands to his chest, etc.
• Gestures of domination. In this case, sharp, resolute strokes are made from the top downwards, etc.
• Gestures of insincerity. Your interlocutor lies, if during a conversation he covers his mouth with his hand or constantly touches his nose (this is a more veiled form of covering his mouth with his hand). It happens that a person does not lie so much as he doubts the veracity of his words.

It is certainly very important what typesinterpersonal communication you use in a conversation. However, it is much more important not to control the gestures and looks of the interlocutor, and not to try to restrain unwanted emotions yourself, but to communicate only with those people whom you love and trust. Then all the phrases will be built correctly, and the pose will speak of honesty and openness, and you yourself will not groan to catch the interlocutor in a lie. Therefore, choose your friends more carefully and trust your loved ones. We advise you to read:

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