If it happened in your life it's not tooa joyful event - a quarrel with your beloved friend - then you should not scatter in different corners, pouting at each other, like a mouse on a rump. It is unpleasant, of course, and it can happen to any of us, because each person has his own views on life, and not always people in these views converge. But to break off friendship because of a quarrel would be unreasonable. Restoring friendly relations can not only heal mental anguish, but it can improve the quality of our life. Psychologists know that friendship helps women reduce stress and makes them feel happier. Communication with a friend allows us to share joy and experience adversity together. Therefore, true friendship suggests that you demonstrate your willingness to ask forgiveness and again become the support of your girlfriend in all the joys and sorrows of life. And if you do not know how to reconcile with a friend, having overcome her insult and not being humiliated at the same time - we will teach you how to do it best.
Successive steps towards reconciliation
Let's say you can not even understand thatoffended your girlfriend. You see that she is angry with you, but do not know why. Try to figure it out yourself first. Analyze everything that you said or did just before you began to notice that she was beginning to get angry. Maybe you'll remember what you could say, which could cause her anger and disappointment in you. You have been sorted out in the reasons for her resentment or not, then you need to talk any further. Call your girlfriend and tell her that you would like to meet to discuss the incident with her and find ways to restore friendship. If you feel uncomfortable calling her, you can write a letter and send it by e-mail. Schedule a meeting somewhere in a public place - for example, in a park or in a cafe. This will create a more relaxed atmosphere that will relieve tension. At the very beginning of the meeting, tell your girlfriend that she is very important to you. If your friend is confident that you appreciate your friendship with her, then it will be much easier for you to start a difficult conversation and establish a friendly tone of conversation. In general, it is considered very successful to achieve a successful outcome of a difficult conversation to start it with a mention of your feelings. Recognize your role in the deterioration of the relationship between you, if your fault really is in this. Apologize for your mistake. Take responsibility for the quarrel, even if you do not believe that only you are guilty in this situation. Any psychologist will tell you that now the most important is the desired reconciliation and the restoration of previous relationships, rather than asking who is more to blame and who is less. Of course, sometimes it is very difficult to take all the blame on yourself, sometimes it just pulls to prove it; but, if the question is the preservation of friendship, then we must leave our pride to better times! How to make a friend reconcile differently, if she sincerely thinks it is you who is to blame for the quarrel? Use the "I-sayings" throughout the discussion. Say "I feel", "I see", "I believe" or "I want", instead of saying "you ..." - otherwise you will force your companion to take a defensive position. When you talk about yourself and your feelings, your girlfriend will not see in the conversation an attempt to blame her for anything. Listen carefully to your girlfriend, without trying to assess what she says. During such a difficult and sometimes not very pleasant conversation, the listener often makes up in his mind a refutation of everything that he hears from the interlocutor. Often these thoughts burst out, and we begin to interrupt the speaker, begin to argue with him. So, if you really want to make it up, do not do it in any way! Listen carefully, without interrupting, and only occasionally ask clarifying questions to make sure that you have correctly understood everything. After you all talk and find a compromise, give her time to move away from the insult. Do not rush it, do not think out how to make it so that you can make peace with your friend as soon as possible. You have already done everything that depended on you, now you just have to wait until the relationship is fully restored.
Tips & Warnings
- Continue to make her gifts - for Birthday, for example - or recognize her achievements. Even if your girlfriend is still angry with you, you can show her that you still love her.
- Never spread rumors about it while you are in theanger after the quarrel. And never try to attract your mutual friends to your side, describing your conflict. It may seem very tempting to show your girlfriend how wrong she is, but you risk losing all your friends at all, behaving in a similar way.
- Fight for your friendship. Do not allow petty grievances to interfere with something more important in your communication. Sometimes it is worthwhile to make some sacrifices in order to restore friendly relations. If you can not sacrifice something for the sake of a friend, then maybe this is not such a real friendship.
- Be patient, do not expect that the relationship will instantly return to what they were before the quarrel. Only time will tell how to reconcile with her friend finally.
Restoring friendship requires courage, honestyand understanding. Having made the first step to reconciliation, you will show your friend that you appreciate your relationship with her, and this will help to go the way to the full revival of your friendly bonds. We advise you to read: