how to make her husband work You are lucky if thoughts of home and family are forcedyou blur out a smile. Much more often it is the other way around: households with persistence every day recreate the picture of the apocalypse and the universal mess, the food must be prepared for a whole regiment and at the same time continue to remain a beautiful woman. Of course, each of us knows that it's really possible to do all this with a good husband. But there is a type of men who demand attention to themselves, and at the same time, they stay at home and do not bring any money to the family. Accordingly, sooner or later a woman faces the question of how to get her husband to work.

Types of non-working husbands

Strangely enough, but there are different typesunemployed husbands. Yes, yes, do not be surprised! And it is on the one to which your chosen one belongs, the forecast for the future depends. Therefore, carefully read the description of our "gentlemen"!

  • "Маменькин сынок" This man is used to comfortand pleasure, without which he does not think his life. It seems to him that the world revolves around him, or rather, around the satisfaction of his needs. Most likely, he had just a wonderful childhood, when my mother at the first request fulfilled all his desires. Now this role, apparently, should be performed by the wife. "Mama's son" sincerely does not understand why everyone wants anything from him. Can not you leave a man alone? Naturally, this attitude to life can not but affect the desire to work. If a wife earns some money - it's wonderful, because you can sit on her neck! If not, then it's okay - lying on the couch is not a problem, and a couple of hundred can be intercepted by the parents. Move such a man can only force the situation of discomfort, but he will still try to get out of it with a minimum of losses and efforts.
  • Melancholik This person is in constantdespondency. Any little thing can upset him, what can we say about the failures on the career front. A naughty boss or an impudent client may well be the reason for the subsequent absenteeism. And even an unsuccessful interview can suspend employment for many months. Do you think the value of such an employee is great? That's why it's easier for such a person to lie on the couch and not do anything, because then failures will not reach him. It's not only the one who does nothing who is not mistaken, only a melancholic interprets this proverb and really decides to plunge into apathy and idleness.
  • Misanthrope Negative refers to everything thatis connected with people. Most likely, they very much bothered him for life and especially in childhood. It is from these always hurt children that real misanthropes grow in the future. Communication with other people causes them aggression and a storm of resentment: they seem misanthropy stupid, evil, wrong, boring - in general, bad. Any interaction with them is meaningless and is just a waste of time. Well, since most professions are connected with communication with people (even the workers at the factory communicate with each other), then finding a cause for a misanthrope's heart is not an easy thing! Even the process of finding work forces this man to communicate, and already this can plunge the misanthrope into an abyss of irritation and anger. The only way out of this situation is to actually find a case that is at least associated with interpersonal contacts.
  • Swinging Such husbands are very sluggish andunhurried. They approach every business thoroughly and wisely. This is due to the peculiarities of their character and thinking: they "drive in" for a very long time into something new. They need a lot of time to master a new business or switch from one activity to another. The same thing happens with the job search: first they need to think, then scratch the left heel and only then open the newspaper with vacancy announcements. Equally leisurely they will select suitable posts, and then go to interviews. Accordingly, the search process should end in success, but how long will it last?
  • Narcissus Oh, this man is hopeless and up to his earsin love - in yourself! All the rest are alien to him, and are not important in the long run. He thinks only of himself and, naturally, he deserves the most beautiful and wonderful work in the world. So what if he does not have enough experience and knowledge? It's not scary, because such a wonderful person will be just a decoration for any position. Here he spends days and weeks on the couch in anticipation of a saucer with a blue border. Naturally, the ideal work does not fall from the sky, and even if it happens so casually, the narcissus contrives somehow in an unprecedented way and is missed. The reasons for this behavior can be several, ranging from deep inner self-doubt and ending with the unwillingness to "marinate" their wonderful hands with "slavish" labor.

how to make her husband work

Why do husbands not work?

Naturally, our list of types of non-workinghusbands - is by no means the ultimate truth. Thousands of very different men every day bring their wives to frenzy lying on the couch and doing nothing for completely different reasons. So we decided to find out what makes them be so passive in matters of career and earnings. One of the main reasons is simply banal laziness. A man does not want to do nothing, it is much more comfortable and pleasant for him to watch TV series on television. Who would argue! Civilizations are due to the appearance of this kind of remarkable individuals, thanks to which women are compelled to become themselves miners, locksmiths, and builders themselves. Only one question is unclear: why do we need men then? Especially lazy and passive, because initially the male must hunt, move and extract resources. Ironically, sometimes the man's reluctance to seek work is an expression of disapproval of a woman. Of course, the way is chosen very perverted, but there's nothing to be done: something in you so much does not like your husband, that he practically sabotages your family life. Fortunately, this is quite rare, and you can pretty easily guess what does not suit your partner. However, not always the man's reluctance to work is a consequence of some clearly expressed negative reason. Often, a husband can not go to work because of the collapse of his own business or dismissal from another job. Above we considered the "long swaying" type of man - very often such a story happens to them. Perhaps your husband needs your care and support, as well as time to regain strength and overcome fear of possible failures. As a rule, this is manifested in the men's constant doubts on their account, as well as pessimistic thoughts and forecasts. Often, the absence of work for the husband is associated with psychological reasons, namely, with a desire to return to the previous position, where everything was known and understandable, and it does not matter whether he himself left there or was fired. A person is so arranged that he is afraid of uncertainty, so there is a possibility that at the interview the husband will subconsciously behave in a way that they do not take it. And it also happens that the husband does not want to work because he feels weak and uncomfortable compared to his wife. It so happened that your success on the career front has made a strong impression on your man, and now he thinks it's pointless to picture something of himself. In his head sits the thought: "We have everything, there are enough things, food and clothes, and if something is needed, then the wife will earn it." He allegedly gives you the baton of leadership and resource extraction for the family. But no one says that it suits you or that you want it. how to make a man work

What should the wife do?

The first thing to do is find andto understand the cause of husband unemployment. Without an understanding of why he's messing around, you can not figure out how to get your husband to work. It is possible that the root of your troubles lies in its fear of new failures and the desire to leave everything as before. Then it will be necessary to clarify and logically prove (men are rational beings), why your partner should bring money to the family. Tell him about the desired changes in your life that will come when he goes to work. Together with him, analyze what prevents him from doing it and how to overcome it. Make a list of the strong qualities of your spouse with him, and then his self-confidence will increase. Sometimes there is an effective game in the "weak woman". What is the best tonic? Responsibility for another. Show your husband how you need it. Let him know that some things you can not do without his help and support. Complain about bosses and overtime. Ask your man to help you in some difficult matter. Perhaps, it is this that will return to her husband the sense of strength and courage necessary to find a new job. You can also help him by some steps in the right direction. For example, buy a newspaper with job advertisements or find several suitable vacancies on the Internet. Yes, of course, I want him to do it himself, but sometimes it's so difficult to start something alone and so easily together! You can also help him to make a good and competent resume and post it on the Internet - maybe the first responses will make him shake. An effective way to find work is also to notify friends about this. It so happened that in our country many work "by acquaintance", and we should try to use this resource. If time goes by, and the husband does not want to work, you can behave more rigidly. Just do not scandals and screams - just leave yourself all the money you earned, and do not give your husband a penny. If he asks for fifty rubles for cigarettes, tell him how everything is now expensive. Ideally, after some time before it should reach that sitting without money - this is not an option, and that he should begin to be responsible for your family. Of course, that the very first should be an honest and open conversation about your life together. You can express your dissatisfaction with the situation - not in terms of "you are bad" but "I'm upset when you ..." and "I would like ...". This does not sound insulting, and at the same time, it makes the situation and your feelings clear. If all these methods do not help, and waiting is delayed, most likely your husband is simply comfortable to live the way he lives. And in this case it's time for you to think about whether you want everything to remain the way it is. It is possible that a working and nursing husband is a social stereotype that does not work for you. Perhaps, you will want to redistribute family roles: your partner will be engaged in the home, and you - career and finances? Let the husband cook, wash, clean and sit with the children, and you will come tired after work, take a bath and watch TV. For some families, this option is very suitable. However, it is worth to look at the truth in the face of it - this is very rare. And if your man is not inclined to unemployment for some temporary reasons, it is unlikely that he will change and begin to work like Papa Carlo. It is possible that he was never particularly hardworking, and you always closed your eyes to this, secretly hoping that he would change. So - people do not change! They choose a convenient way for them and live their lives. How much can you hope for changes - six months, a year, five years? Therefore, if you are not ready to put up with the situation, put the question squarely: either I, or idleness. Just do not manipulate it - it really should be a balanced decision of an adult. If the husband chooses a sofa, then with a calm soul, start a new happy life. What can you do, you can not do everything for him! For many families, the period when a husband sits without work becomes crisis. A man suffers from his own inferiority, a woman - from uncertainty and sudden financial constraints. In this situation, one should not focus on one's own suffering - it is important to remember that he is also a person. However, you should not delay with sympathy and support - there is a possibility that this will turn into a habitual way of life for you. Therefore, you will face the most difficult task: to find a delicate balance between caring and stimulation. But you will definitely get it - you should remember at least a famous saying: "A man is a head, and a woman is a neck. Wherever he wants, he will turn around. " We advise you to read:

Comments

comments